Hello! Sorry for the delayed response.
It's actually the other way around--the quest is technically supposed to trigger before you leave for Spellhold. It's tied to the dialog track, so shortly after the 10th talk, it should automatically start. If you went to Spellhold too early, you might have accidentally missed a fair amount of content, since there are separate dialog tracks for the first half of the game and the second half.
Could you open Shadowkeeper or use the Console to find out what the value of the variable "rh#IsraTalks" is? If it's lower than 20, you wouldn't have yet reached the part where the quest triggers.
C:GetGlobal("rh#IsraTalks","GLOBAL") should be the console code to get you that number on EE. CLUAConsole:GetGlobal("rh#IsraTalks","GLOBAL") on the vanilla version of the game.