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I found an old post listing Crazy Cervan's limericks, and the fact that not all NPC's has one. Now, I love limericks, and suddenly recalled with fondness my joy at first hearing his verse. I admit that I haven't talked to him all that much since my first couple of playthroughs, so I don't know if he has been modified - this was all before my discovery of mods.

I got the urge to try my hand at writing for the lacking NPC's though, so here's a quick attempt at filling out those gaps. I wrote these pretty much off the top of my head, so I haven't put overmuch depth into them, but I decided to stick to the original formula - beginning with "there once was a" and also mentioning something about their personalities or hidden facts, not only describing them. The one about Nalia is my take on the suggestions in the previous posts, so if it looks more familiar there's a reason...
Also, I tried writing somewhat appropriate responses from the NPC's. These could probably be worded better, but you get the idea.
And I'm all for giving Imoen the same "verse" as the protagonist. It SHOULD be that way at least.

So here they are! I'm more of a writer than a scripter, so these were made for fun. Even if Cervan hasn't been modded yet (which as I said I don't know) I had no plans on doing it. Pure wordplay, but feel free to use it if you find something you like!


Cernd:

There once was a townsman quite mild
Who one day heard the call of the wild
So he made up his mind
Left his woman behind
Such a pity she carried his child.

Response:
"It seems everyone was told but me. That should not be the order of things."

Edwin:

There once was a wizard of Thay
Seeking powers from grandfather's day.
Such a scroll does exist,
and is hard to resist
But what is the price he must pay?

Response:
"A more relevant question would be if you know the price of slandering a Red Wizard, diminuitive fool."

Haer'Dalis:

There once was a fiend of the planes
Who would woo, cheat and steal for the gains.
And this sparrow doth sing
giving care to no thing
Rather dying than living in chains.

Response:
"Ah, my reputation precedes me once more. Though I have to admit it's the first time it has done so in verse. Most pleasing, actually.

Jan:

There once was a gnome mage with poise
Much in love with the sound of his voice.
So the lass he would wed
took a blackguard instead
He resents it - but that was her choice.

Response:
"You know, that puts me in mind of my second cousin Inglebert, who claimed to have the gift of second sight. He used to go around predicting rains of fish and stampeding herds of squirrels. That made him quite impopular, actually, especially after the shower of turbots back in '52. Of course, poor Inglebert was blamed even though he was allergic to all kinds of seafood.
Then there was that unfortunate business with the mayors wife, who fell out of the plum tree. Inglebert had said she would trip over a basket of gooseberries, and everyone thought it was close enough to be his fault.
It turned out it was actually a neighbour who had borrowed the ladder, but by then Inglebert had been driven out of town by an angry, turnip-throwing mob. He was later eaten by a griffon, poor lad.
I suppose Aunt Tatty could have been right when she said telling others fortunes could lead to losing one's own...
But then again, it might not be prudent to listen to someone wearing their clothes upside down."

Korgan:

There once was a dwarf without fear
Craving carnage, small women and beer.
For the promise of gold
he will do what he's told
Unless more lucrative deals should appear.

Response:
"'Tis no secret, gnome! You should sing of my deeds instead, or prepare to taste me axe!"

Nalia:

There once was a heir to a hold
who'd give to the poor of her gold
Wielding magic and stealth
she'd forsake all her wealth
And go forth in the rain and the cold.

Response:
"How do you know of my...abilities? I certainly don't flaunt them! How?"

Viconia:

There once was a beautiful drow
Did her ancestral ways disavow
Though the surface she'd shun,
now she walks in the sun
But the dark might still take her somehow.

Response:
"Silence, yingil! I dislike all surfacers, but hate the insinuant ones."

Yoshimo:

There once was a man very sly
Be he thief, bounty hunter, or spy?
With his lockpicking skills
he may sneak where he wills
There's more to him than meets the eye.

Response:
"Ah, but isn't there to us all, friend?"




Any thoughts?