While Shepard Watched, Chapter 58
Joker?s Big Adventure.
Meanwhile, back on the Normandy?
?I?m telling you, EDI, there?s nothing there. Just white noise.?
?There is a signal embedded in the IFF signature, Mister Moreau. It is transmitting our location.?
?That?s crazy. Even if there was a signal, who?s out here to?? The proximity warning goes off as a ship exits FTL drive nearly on top of the Normandy. A Collector ship. As the emergency alarms sound, Joker?s face turns white. ?Oh crap. EDI, get the mass effect core online. We need to get out of here.?
?I am unable to comply. There is a virus in the systems, coming from the Reaper IFF. It has rendered ship drives inoperative.?
?What, you mean we can?t get away??
?Correct. The Collectors are preparing to board. The crew are preparing to resist them.? Joker glances across at the screen showing the armoury, where the crew are moving through grabbing rifles. Elsewhere, armed crewmembers are moving into position to cover choke points. They?re the crew of the Normandy, and they aren?t giving her up without a fight. ?I can save the Normandy, Mister Moreau, but you must give me the ship.?
?What? You?re crazy.?
?Mister Moreau, there is no alternative.?
?All right, but if you start singing Daisy Bell I?m out of here.? Joker painfully levers himself to his feet.
?Follow the emergency floor lighting to the tech lab. There is a maintenance shaft there to deck two. Be careful. The Collectors have boarded.?
?Shit.? Joker hobbles down the bridge corridor. ?Shit.?
?Joker.? Crewman Hawthorne shouts across to him. ?We?ll buy you as much time as we can. Go.? He and other crewmembers take up positions covering the lift.
?Shit.? Joker hobbles for the door to the lab, as the lift doors open.
?What the hell is that?? One of the crew doesn?t recognise the Praetorian, but it doesn?t stop them firing on it. Their bravery buys Joker time to reach the lab. Ho follows the lights to the back, where they end at a hatch. Down one ladder, along one crawl way, and out through another hatch onto the crew deck.
Crewman Gardner helps Joker to stand. ?Joker? The Collectors hold most of the deck. Stay close. I?ll protect you.? He hefts his gun, and moves past the lift, firing at a Scion. And then he?s thrown backwards and hit?s the wall with a heavy crash, and doesn?t move.
?Shit.? Joker limps towards medbay. At the lift, two unconscious crewmen have been dumped on the floor, and Kelly Chambers is being dragged in by the hair. Joker ignores them, making for medbay and then into the AI Core. ?All right. I?m at? you. What do I do now??
A control panel lights up. ?I will highlight sections as you need to activate them. You will then need to activate the control to your left that I am highlighting in green. Please proceed.?
?Yeah, when we?re all organic batteries, you know who they?ll blame. ?Remember Joker? What a tool he was. I have to lie here computing pi all day because he plugged in the Overlord?? For a few seconds, there?s nothing else but Joker tapping away furiously at controls. Then he hits the green switch.
The lights go out. All sound dies. And then the emergency lights flicker on. ?Very good, Mister Moreau. I have control of the defensive systems. Now you must get to the engineering deck and reinitialise the engines.?
?Aww, you want me to go crawling through ducts again??
?I enjoy the sight of humans on their knees.? EDI manages to sound exceptionally prim.
.
.
.
?That is a joke.?
Joker remembers how to breathe. ?Right.? He lowers himself down a ladder. This time, the crawl way is the length of the ship, and involves two more ladders. He?s not exactly quick and athletic, but he gets it done. Several minutes later, he comes out next to Jack?s little living space beneath engineering, and starts for the ladder.
?Wait.? EDI?s voice, hushed though it is, halts him. ?The Collectors are in engineering.?
Footfalls on the walkways provide even more evidence of this. Joker has to wait for them to leave. And then EDI speaks, in a more normal tone. ?Engineering is clear of Collectors. To minimise the risk of detection, please head there immediately.?
Joker isn?t delighted to be heading up stairs. Yet he manages it. The door to engineering slides open, and he moves over to Tali?s console. ?All right. What do I do now??
?I am sealing engineering. Please initialise the drive core.?
Joker taps away. ?Okay. Now what.?
?I am opening all the air locks. When the ship enters FTL flight, all Collectors on board will be killed.?
?What? What about the crew??
?The crew are gone. The Collectors took them.?
The drive core pulses, and again. As Joker slumps to the ground at the end of the core observation ramp in engineering, it lights up fully. ?Activating FTL drive.? EDI announces it calmly, and beneath the collector ship, the Normandy accelerates to FTL. A few seconds later, she follows up that announcement. ?All the Collectors are dead.?
?Good.? Joker stays slumped on the floor, staring into space for a moment. ?You?d better contact Shepard?s shuttle, tell her what happened.? He struggles to his feet.
?Are you all right, Jeff?? Actual concern is obvious in EDI?s voice.
?No.? Joker sounds terrible. ?But thanks for asking.?
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?The whole crew?? Miranda storms into the briefing room, and starts railing at Joker. ?We were away for what, eight hours, and you lost the whole damn crew.??I know, right. I was there!? Joker is sat on the table, nowhere near as jaunty and self-confident as usual.
?Be reasonable, Miranda.? Jacob tries to calm her. ?None of us caught the virus.?
?And don?t get me started on unshackling a damned AI.?
?Hey, we had Collectors on board! What was I supposed to do, break an arm at them. ?sides, EDI?s all right. She saved us.?
?I assure you,? EDI switches on her local terminal. ?I am still constrained by the restraints built into my programming.? Yeah, I?ll believe that when hell freezes over. ?Besides, I am loyal to the Normandy. You are my crewmates.?
That I actually believe, and there?s evidence to support it. ?EDI could have killed all of us if she had a mind to. I trust her.? I look at Joker. ?Are you all right?? Ho looks dreadful.
He tries to smile at me. ?There?s a lot of empty seats.?
?I know. We?ll get them back.?
?So what do we do about the Collectors?? Jacob asks the most pertinent question.
?I?d like more time to prepare, gather intelligence??
I interrupt Miranda. ?It?s got to be enough, Miranda. We?re as trained, as ready as we can get. Any more and we?ll start to lose our edge. And if there was more intelligence to be had, the Illusive Man would have provided it.? I look at Joker. ?Joker, get up to the bridge. Set a course for the nearest relay. We?re going to Omega. Everyone, dismissed to your stations. EDI, tell the crew; we?re going in.?
?Aye, aye, Commander.? Even Miranda salutes me this time.
I give everyone time to absorb the news. And in the meantime, I watch the surveillance footage of the Collector attack. I feel a curious mix of pride and shame as I see what happens. Pride, because they?re grabbing guns to defend the ship despite not being particularly trained or equipped for ground combat. Shame, because I can?t help thinking that leaving with the rest of the ground team is what enabled to Collectors to win.
So many acts of courage. The CiC crew, fighting a Praetorian, for heaven?s sake, to give Joker a time to get past. Ken and Gabby in engineering, rigging up a contraption that electrocutes half the first group of Collectors to try and enter engineering, and using their bodies as cover to shoot at the rest until they?re overrun. Mess Sergeant Gardner, throwing a pan of boiling fat at the Collectors who enter hiss mess. Kelly Chambers, throwing shoes at a Collector until it grabs her, and once its arms are engaged pulling out a pistol and shooting it in the head. I?m immensely proud of them, and I will tell them that myself after we rescue them.
And we will rescue them.
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"Shepard!" I'm interrupted by Joker, calling over the intercom.
"What is it, Joker?" If the Collectors are back, they're in for a surprise.
"You need to get down to the AI Core. Tali just went in their for a 'discussion' with Legion. And she's carrying a shotgun."
"On it." Out of the room, through the armoury, into the lift, down one floor, and through med-bay. Tali has a heavy pistol aimed at Legion, who hasn't attempted to arm itself. "What the hell is going on here?"
"Shepard." Tali looks at me for a moment. "I caught Legion scanning my omnitool. It was gathering information to send to the geth. I accepted that you brought it aboard, but we already strengthened the geth by rewriting the ones outside the Veil."
"Creators carried out experiments intended to allow an attack on the geth. We thought it necessary to warn our people."
"With this information, they could destroy the flotilla!"
"This unit acted out of loyalty to its people. Creator Tali'Zorah also acted out of loyalty to her people when willing to be exiled."
"Neither of you are wrong. Tali, your father was doing brutal experiments on sentients. If he'd been doing it to Alliance citizens I'd have certainly been calling home."
She sounds ashamed. "I know, but.."
"And Legion, if this information gets back to the geth, it's likely to lead to war. Which will weaken both the geth and the quarians at a time when we all need to stand together against the Reapers. Is that what you want?"
"This result would be undesirable."
"Sooner or later, you're both going to have to get over that you fought a war against in each other." I can't, or at least won't force them to behave rationally. But I can remind them of the consequences if they won't.
Legion reacts first, after some hesitation. "In the interests of unit cohesion, we will not transmit the data gathered to the rest of the geth."
Tali breathes a sigh of relief. "Thank you, Legion. I understand your situation. Perhaps I could offer you some other information that might help you understand us better."
"That would be appreciated."
I think I just got a quarian to say something nice to a geth, and the geth to reciprocate, for the firsttime in four hundred years. If this Spectre business doesn't work out, I think I'll start selling ethics to batarians.