107 replies to this topic

[Orthodoxia]

Thank you, that means a lot to me This chapter was both a joy and a terror to write. I knew what I wanted but it was so difficult to put it into words. Plus, my biggest fear throughout the story was how to make Aneele believable and not an offspring of Mary Sue.

I hope to have next chapter out soon. Just a few more fixes here and there.

[Shadowhawke]

Great to see another chapter out! And despite what you said in your author's notes, I think you did the tension between the characters wonderfully. I also liked the insight into Kaelyn and Aneele's mind... I love what you've done with Ele'ena, she's just evolved into such an incredible character. Her conversation with Safiya was great too, and was intriguing with Okku's statement at the end... wow. Needless to say, I can't wait until you write more, Orthodoxia. Your story really is riveting.

[Orthodoxia]

Thanks Although that scene in the dream was supposed to more romantically oriented rather than comedic, where Gann seduces Anya from the false Gann, and that clearly didn't work out that way

The last few chapters will take a while until I sort them out. We are slowly approaching the grand finale!

[Solar's Harper]

Whoa, I am way, way, waaay behind in reviews. Humble apologies and about a truckload of bribes.. err, gifts consisting of cookie goodness to ye Orthodoxia.

Now then since it'd be pretty much close to impossibly long to actually review in full length each particular update in one post, let me just say that reading through the huge selection was a real treat, especially when it focuses on Gann's continued bumbling in comparison to Aneele's cold contrast.

Plus in regards to that question about that matchmaking, methinks she was just rekindling old habits as always, Bevil's luck comes to mind.
And having Bishop suffer a rebirth courtesy of soul-eater "treatment" was just great, cheers on the excellent work.

[Orthodoxia]

Cookies... cookies are nice... Don't you worry, you've read it in the end And I'm glad you enjoyed it. Bishop part is one of my favorites, along with Anya's dream sequence.

I keep trying to get myself back in gear and write what little was left but my muse doesn't appear to be in the mood I'm glad I've managed to complete the bulk of it and now there are only four chapter to go! Yes, that makes me very happy

I'll be taking those cookie goodness to see if it can inspire me

[Shadowhawke]

Hey again, Orthodoxia!

Just wanted to let you know how great your new piece was, and that I'm sorry I didn't see it had updated sooner! A very nice, long chapter, filled with all the right parts. I liked how you showed Kaelyn's moral dilemma, as well as Aneele's reasoning. The introduction of a party member from the past was really well done too... it's just a shame what happened to Khelgar - your last story really had me liking him. The droll comments about the Thayvian academy also gave a really nice atmosphere.

Just one little thing, probably because I haven't played the game - at times I thought the description around an event was a bit too sparsely connected with the one before so I wasn't sure what was happening and why. Perhaps just a little more outlining of the quest and the details about it would help?

But yes, I really did like this chapter... especially Gann-of-hens. *snickers* That was truly awesome. And your deviantArt picture of him was just made my day. Great work yet again!

Can't wait to see how this wraps up.

[Orthodoxia]

Thanks for the review With my unstable imagination it's one of the few things that makes this story move on.

And I'm glad that Kaelyn turned out well. I really don't have the grasp of holy/paladins/clerics personality and they are the most difficult for me to write. You're right about sparse connection, of course. But on one hand this was written with an intention that the reader had played the game (sorry ) and the other, with the story being seen from Aneele's point of view almost nothing is described since the focus is on her and Hunger and emptiness she carries.

Glad you liked Gann-of-Hens The name is going to stick with him from now on.

[Shadowhawke]

Whoah, that WAS a long chapter, and I enjoyed every minute of it! Yes, there were spelling mistakes, but I barely noticed them amidst the spectacle of Myrkul, Aneele, and the secret behind Safiya.

Wow, what a story. I must say, I can understand why you liked MotB so much now, and the plot twists and turns were translated stunningly in your story. I also liked the little other odds and ends - Gann's scene with Aneele was very interesting given their relationship over this whole story.

Great work yet again, and I can't wait to see the next part.

[Orthodoxia]

Hey, Shadowhawke, thanks for the review. Next couple of chapter will be equally long, although I am trying to keep my eagerness in check

I'm glad that part with Myrkul turned out well even if I did use most of the game dialogue, but they did such a great job with him. As for Gann and Aneele, I was trying to build some sort of relationship but I don't think it's working really. We'll see what can come out of it when the final chapter rolls in.

You should really try out the game when you have the chance I'm not the fan of the graphics (I prefer BG2 style graphic, thank you very much) or the elaborate fighting system, but the story is excellent as well as the crafting system once you get the hang of it.

[Epantiras]

I've read the last chapter, Myrkul's take over attempt at the Founder's Sanctum was a very nice addition to the canon MotB storyline. I know he can do that to OoM, so why not trying to do that to the Knight Captain as well? BTW Knight Captain can be shortened to KC, which is very convinient as can mean Kalach-Cha as well ;-)
Aneele remembering Casavir trying to cook made my day please forgive me, I tend to notice only the comical parts of a story.
Sure you built a strange relationship between Aneele and Gann, he's a proud and vain b*tch but she can keep him in line. I'm curious to see how you'll handle the canon friendship/romance dialogues at the Gate of the Betrayer, unless you plan to make them different from the game.
I look forward to see the next chapters ;-)

[Orthodoxia]

Heh, thanks for the review Epantiras, it sure means a lot

I'd imagine that while Casavir might have been somewhat good at survival he really shouldn't be anywhere near the cooking pot. He strikes me as a noble turned holy warrior rather then seasoned warrior going holy, if you get my meaning.

Not really a spoiler but... as you might have noticed, there is no romance between them. The relationship that Aneele has with everyone involved is pretty much "March forward until we get to that bloody wall," and not much else besides that. You'll actually get to see a really personality shift once she gets her soul back - multiple personality shifts in fact (can't wait to get to that chapter!!) If you've read that charming NWN2 meme of yours then you know that Ele'ena was a coward extraordinaire, combine that with a seriously ticked Gann who had to put up with months of having his ego trampled and you might get the idea

[Solar's Harper]

Always liked the scene involving Myrkul, and I think what you've added onto it really brings out the devious side in the old skull Orthodoxia, a real treat to read.

And now that you mention something about Ele'ena's vaunted personality making a comeback, seeing how the Wall of the Faithless is in the realm of the dead, it makes me wonder if a certain spirit missing his boot will be making another debut, hmm?

[Orthodoxia]

To be honest, said ghost should have made his appearance in Act 3 had I bothered to write it. But no, he won't be there, he's too busy proclaiming his love for Neeskha who is running to the far reaches of Toril from him

Thanks for the review Solar

[Epantiras]

If you've read that charming NWN2 meme of yours then you know that Ele'ena was a coward extraordinaire, combine that with a seriously ticked Gann who had to put up with months of having his ego trampled and you might get the idea

Yeah! I wonder if the toy Crossroad Keep is still there XD just joking. Now I really look forward to see Ele'ena's comeback. Since I've already played the game, the more original content you put in your fanfic the better.

To be honest, said ghost should have made his appearance in Act 3 had I bothered to write it. But no, he won't be there, he's too busy proclaiming his love for Neeskha who is running to the far reaches of Toril from him

!?!?!?!?!?! Am I missing something?

[Orthodoxia]

If you've read that charming NWN2 meme of yours then you know that Ele'ena was a coward extraordinaire, combine that with a seriously ticked Gann who had to put up with months of having his ego trampled and you might get the idea

Yeah! I wonder if the toy Crossroad Keep is still there XD just joking. Now I really look forward to see Ele'ena's comeback. Since I've already played the game, the more original content you put in your fanfic the better.

I'm telling you, I'm struggling hard to put new thing in the fic. Chapter 15 has absolutely nothing from the game

To be honest, said ghost should have made his appearance in Act 3 had I bothered to write it. But no, he won't be there, he's too busy proclaiming his love for Neeskha who is running to the far reaches of Toril from him

!?!?!?!?!?! Am I missing something?

That? Oh, that's from the story that follows Ele'ena's journey from West Harbor to the end of Act 1 from the OC. I didn't bother with Act 2 and 3 since I didn't have a good grasp of NPCs' personality. I still don't.

If you want to laugh and enjoy bad writing, you can read it here -> http://www.fanfiction.net/u/1245941/
There is also a tread here on forums as well but I lost track of it *shame on me!*

[Epantiras]

BTW Orthodoxia, I've just realized something about your fanfiction and I need to ask you one thing:

Spoiler

If Bishop has been taken away from the wall, does it mean that he'll become a new soul-eating faceless man? I guess Akachi has spent more time inside the wall than Bishop, however the wall has already eaten something of the ranger as well!!!

[Orthodoxia]

This just screams plot-hole, doesn't it

Spoiler

I don't think he's been in there long enough. He'll probably be different somehow with some of his memories and emotions gone but I'm certain Bishop is quite capable of going back to his old self quickly. He'll just be angry for different reasons.

[Epantiras]

I've just read the new chapter, I look forward to see what will happen next ;-)

[Orthodoxia]

Death and carnage, if you've played the game

[Solar's Harper]

Death and carnage, if you've played the game

Always is the case in these ones no?

Poor Gann, would that he never learn where it all went wrong. Or perhaps if it was ever to go right at all.