- @6: "you'll get some bastard of a berk who got promoted to a minor demon, or a low-ranking deva-type if they were really *really* good, ..." => Is that grammatically/logically correct? It could be misread as a connection between "bastard of berk" and the Deva (analogous, but not intended: berk becomes deva) and there's also a change from singular to plural ("they").
"They" can be used for the singular when gender is unknown. I think the rest works well enough in english. I'm not sure if there's a specific grammatical error there, but if there is, well, Morte's grammar isn't supposed to be perfect either. If that construction is confusing when translated, though, feel free to restructure it, there's nothing sacred about my writing, believe me. Just try to keep the general meaning, which is that it's potentially dangerous to resurrect (for zombie labor) someone so evil that they transformed into a demonic being after death, or so good that they transformed into an angelic being.
@6: One of them demons => "of these"?
This is an intentional error. Again, Morte is not the most precise of speakers - he speaks with a certain sloppy slang. It's in keeping with the rest of his dialogue. Feel free to tweak his dialogue so it carries the same "streewise" slang that Morte normally speaks with, but don't make him sound like an english professor, and don't feel you need to force a literal translation to conform exactly to my word choices in english such that he sounds less streetwise and more like an idiot in german

@8: Style: 2x "from what I understand"..."
Eh, you're right, I probably should've avoided that, but just leave it at this point, as several other translations already worked with that.
"@8: Style: "Anyway, just *want* the Scale to measure one or the other, the Scale will know which one you want measured" => 2x Scale, 2x measure..."
Yes, leave it that way - the two passages serve different functions. The first is instruction, the second is explanation.
@18: You get the impression they're meant to weigh something else. => I don't know how the different dialogue rows are triggered, but if it's possible that Morte has told TNO about the scale before, "You get the impression" seems not very accurate (because TNO now already knows about the scales)."
Yup, I looked out for that - after Morte's explanation you are introduced to the scale's introductory text past this point. Good eye, though.
@28: Style: "good vs. evil" => I don't think "vs." is really fitting here, too modern?"
It's okay. "vs." is used in the original dialogue about a hundred times in various item and spell descriptions throughout the game. If you'd rather have it unabbreviated ("versus") in the german version, that's fine, but I'll note that "versus" is never used in the original dialogue file, only "vs.".
"- Sometimes it's "scales", sometimes "Scales" (esp. in @13 und @14); maybe the different spelling - "scales" become "Scales" - appears after TNO knows about the Scale of Souls?"
Pretty much, yes. I know I wasn't entirely consistent in that regard. I don't think consistency is necessary there, though, seeing as one is it's proper name and the other is simply more generalized. Nothing says it can only be referred to one way or the other.
Qwinn
Edited by Qwinn, 05 August 2008 - 08:39 AM.