651 replies to this topic

[Miloch]

Nice. "Years later" actually makes more sense than "years on" though. Unless you wanted to say "years earlier"?

[prune1]

Nice. "Years later" actually makes more sense than "years on" though. Unless you wanted to say "years earlier"?

It's definitely at a later time and not 'years earlier', as the preceeding pages contain, in particular, a young Sarevok trying to defend his mother as I'm sure you'll recall.

Unsure about the 'years later/years on' thing, though. You may well be right.

Very nice edits btw fly, I like the black(er) cloak on Sarevok, and the city looking more populated too.

Also, a note made on the deviant art page you posted; someone saying the text in the last two panels now reads right to left; well, I don't think it's a big deal, you can still read it left to right, just that the lines are then in the "wrong" order compared to in the actual movie in-game. If it bothers you, and you still want to keep the visual side of things switched as they are now, just swap the text in the last two speech bubbles Sarevok says. Easily done, i think!

Great work and keep it up as always.

[flysoup]

Nice. "Years later" actually makes more sense than "years on" though. Unless you wanted to say "years earlier"?

It's definitely at a later time and not 'years earlier', as the preceeding pages contain, in particular, a young Sarevok trying to defend his mother as I'm sure you'll recall.

Unsure about the 'years later/years on' thing, though. You may well be right.

Very nice edits btw fly, I like the black(er) cloak on Sarevok, and the city looking more populated too.

Also, a note made on the deviant art page you posted; someone saying the text in the last two panels now reads right to left; well, I don't think it's a big deal, you can still read it left to right, just that the lines are then in the "wrong" order compared to in the actual movie in-game. If it bothers you, and you still want to keep the visual side of things switched as they are now, just swap the text in the last two speech bubbles Sarevok says. Easily done, i think!

Great work and keep it up as always.

Hi!

I decided to edit the speechbubble, (can be viewed at deviantart). About the years on or years later I am not sure since my grammatical and writing skills is similar to the Swedish chef in the muppet show

Thanks for all the feedback and the invaluable help in the script edit by prune1. Keep feeding me with constructive critique members of SHS and I will do my best to learn from it.

Here is another edit sample, a darker and more sinister result than the previous I think

[Miloch]

About the years on or years later I am not sure since my grammatical and writing skills is similar to the Swedish chef in the muppet show

Heh. "Years later" is better, so I guess you were right the first time. "Later on" might make sense but "years on" doesn't.

Nice Tiax edit .

[flysoup]

About the years on or years later I am not sure since my grammatical and writing skills is similar to the Swedish chef in the muppet show

Heh. "Years later" is better, so I guess you were right the first time. "Later on" might make sense but "years on" doesn't.

Nice Tiax edit .

Thanks for the aid and feedback, good speed to you and safe adventuring!

[flysoup]

Another edit sample from the Bhaalspawn comic. Visual edits by me and script edits by prune1. (Edit page to the right).

[prune1]

Another edit sample from the Bhaalspawn comic. Visual edits by me and script edits by prune1. (Edit page to the right).

Hmm, I seem to have been a little slack.

You may consider changing 'Keep the machinery rolling Boo! We are home soon my friend!' to:

'Keep the machinery rolling Boo! We will be home soon my friend!'

This isn't that big a deal; they are gnomes and maybe have some quirks in their speech.

However, the last box should change from: 'The end of an expedition for some but just the beginnings of an even more grand quest for another individual' to:

'The end of an expedition for some, but just the beginnings of an even grander quest for another individual'

[flysoup]

Another edit sample from the Bhaalspawn comic. Visual edits by me and script edits by prune1. (Edit page to the right).

Hmm, I seem to have been a little slack.

You may consider changing 'Keep the machinery rolling Boo! We are home soon my friend!' to:

'Keep the machinery rolling Boo! We will be home soon my friend!'

This isn't that big a deal; they are gnomes and maybe have some quirks in their speech.

However, the last box should change from: 'The end of an expedition for some but just the beginnings of an even more grand quest for another individual' to:

'The end of an expedition for some, but just the beginnings of an even grander quest for another individual'

Thanks companion! I'll make the changes.

[flysoup]

Another edit sample from the Bhaalspawn comic. Visual edits by me and script edits by prune1. (Edit page to the right).

Hmm, I seem to have been a little slack.

You may consider changing 'Keep the machinery rolling Boo! We are home soon my friend!' to:

'Keep the machinery rolling Boo! We will be home soon my friend!'

This isn't that big a deal; they are gnomes and maybe have some quirks in their speech.

However, the last box should change from: 'The end of an expedition for some but just the beginnings of an even more grand quest for another individual' to:

'The end of an expedition for some, but just the beginnings of an even grander quest for another individual'

Thanks companion! I'll make the changes.

[flysoup]

Teaser page of the prologue from the Bhaalspawn comic that will be up on the Bhaalspawn webpage in a near future.
(artwork by me, script by me and prune1)

[Kaeloree]

Personally I reckon that last panel there would be more effective without the cleric speaking. Awesome work, though--your art is improving at a rapid pace!

[flysoup]

Personally I reckon that last panel there would be more effective without the cleric speaking. Awesome work, though--your art is improving at a rapid pace!

Removing the speech-bubble would give another feeling to the panel indeed. Both options are good, maybe removing the speech-bubble would give a more scary feeling to it. Itwould feel that the cleric is consumed and paralyzed from fear and therefore unable speak. A good suggestion. I am glad you can see improvement in the artwork

[Lurker of the north]

How near is this "near future"? (Can't w8 is all)

[flysoup]

How near is this "near future"? (Can't w8 is all)

In this case a near future is a couple of month's but it could be earlier. But how much is a couple of month's? Well in this case it shouldn't be more than 4 month's. I am sorry for not being able to give a more clear answer but there are many things involved like the crafter of the webpage and the crafing of the comic pages. I hope that you all will have the patience to wait for it. It just wont be any fun without any reader's. As I have mentioned before; comics is about communication. You, the readers has helped me to improve as a comic artist with the feedback involving constructive criticism and motivating comments. Thank you all! Another thing that has greatly improved the comic is the cooperation with prune1.

Best regards/
Michael

[flysoup]

Hi, long time no hear aye? Well as I have mentioned my old servant computer dated from the early 90's took his/her last breath. But hear this there is a new small computer in my home now, though I had to connect it with a large monitor. So I can once again start the Bhaalspawn comic together with prune 1 at SHS. Since there has been a massive delay in the website crafting I owe you another teaser page.

Edited by flysoup, 10 December 2009 - 02:54 PM.

[prune1]

Ahhhh, last panel: ant should be and, and realm's should be realms...I did catch the last one but i guess it was easy to miss such a change. I should really start to put those pesky apostrophes in bold and size 32 font again.

Edit: Except boldening the apostrophe was not what I would have done, considering I was removing it...nevermind me, brain is scrambled i guess.

Also, to anyone confused, this is prologue page 1, the first one you saw, with the poor cleric about to die, actually follows this one as page 2. Fly likes to keep things interesting by juggling them!

Edited by prune1, 10 December 2009 - 01:38 PM.

[flysoup]

Ahhhh, last panel: ant should be and, and realm's should be realms...I did catch the last one but i guess it was easy to miss such a change. I should really start to put those pesky apostrophes in bold and size 32 font again.

Edit: Except boldening the apostrophe was not what I would have done, considering I was removing it...nevermind me, brain is scrambled i guess.

Also, to anyone confused, this is prologue page 1, the first one you saw, with the poor cleric about to die, actually follows this one as page 2. Fly likes to keep things interesting by juggling them!

Uploaded the correction above, my bad. Be prepared for more juggling scenes!

[flysoup]

AAAAaaaaaaGH!!! I see that the last panel on the prologue page has ant in the text frame rather than and...that is what happens when one edits at the late hours when the eyes are blood red and the mind is misty. Forgive me for this, everything will be fixed for the Bhaalspawn website as I will do my best to look over every page twice. It wouldn't be fair otherwise since prune1 has contributed with the writings/edits and other suggestions improving the comic with 200%. And I keep messing it up since I am too eager to share it with you all...So forgive me for this...

[flysoup]

Another teaser from the upcoming Bhaalspawn comic website. Remember to thank prune1 at SHS for the excellent writing and script ideas. Bhaalspawn coming in a near future at a website just a few clicks from you! Creators: Michael: artwork/script prune1: script/edits. Thank you all that reads the comic!

[flysoup]

Another character presentation teaser from the upcoming Bhaalspawn comic website.