651 replies to this topic

[Aliya]

Sword looks too plane, for a sharp & pointy weapon. But I really love Khal!

[Epantiras]

I see what Aliya means, it's because the "central ridge" / "fuller" is not visible.




Besides this, cool drawing! Drawing Jaheira's chainmail must have taken you a lot of time!

[flysoup]

Sword looks too plane, for a sharp & pointy weapon. But I really love Khal!

But the sword is from the planes and that is the reason for it looking plane

I see what Aliya means, it's because the "central ridge" / "fuller" is not visible.




Besides this, cool drawing! Drawing Jaheira's chainmail must have taken you a lot of time!

I wanted a non fuller and non central ridge blade. I am tired of central ridges and fullers because that is how I always used to draw them in high school on big bulked barbarians And besides not all blades look like that, and staying to close to real references when it comes to fantasy is just too dull in my mind since that actually takes away the 'fantasy' elements at many times. The chainmail didn't take so long time that one can think actually. I am rather quick in my actions when it comes to the sketching inking and coloring, some times too quick for noticing the errors I make. But then again you all help me to point them out so I can correct them

Edited by flysoup, 02 July 2009 - 12:07 PM.

[prune1]

Hey there,

First of all; Been following this thread for some time, and though i'm not a regular at all, I decided to take the time to post here to say that this comic is great. The artwork is of a high quality and the storyline is very intriguing; I like how you've intertwined many different characters stories into all this and how they crop up every few pages. A very good tool for keeping a reader engaged I must say, and you've done it masterfully. It's also clear that you possess a very deep knowledge of the game, which others in that category (I guess most of us, if we're on these forums!) can appreciate, I'm sure.

Now, I could go on just heaping praise, but I do have something to contribute aswell!

I've gone through all 51 pages that you have so far, and made grammatical, spelling and general changes to text in some places so the story is fluent in terms of the language it is written in. Please do not take this as too harsh a criticism or anything; all I want to do is help out!

So, without further ado, please see the following link for a .rtf file (open in microsoft word or some other word processor) which details changes you may consider making: http://www.2shared.c...orrections.html

As an example, let's take page 1, the format is as follows:

Page 1:
Current: Why must she always be so annoying! Moments like this makes me wanna leave candlekeep for good...

Suggested: Why must she always be so annoying! Moments like this make me wanna leave candlekeep for good?

A very basic correction, but in other places I have changed a fair bit of the text, for example, say...

Page 16:
Current: Home in sight! At last! Our life quest journey about to reach its finale.

Suggested: Home in sight! At last! Our great journey is about to reach its finale.

(?Life quest journey? just does not make sense, hence the rewording, or rather outright removal of those words. You could use words like epic, grand etc rather than great?but I think ?great? suits best here.)

These are just 2 examples to show you the format I've used; it's not done to be patronising but i've merely quoted your text in each suggestion first so it's easy for you to track it down, as well as the page number.

I hope you find all this useful - it took me some time, although nowhere near what it took you i'm sure to do all that you've done!

All the best.

[flysoup]

Hey there,

First of all; Been following this thread for some time, and though i'm not a regular at all, I decided to take the time to post here to say that this comic is great. The artwork is of a high quality and the storyline is very intriguing; I like how you've intertwined many different characters stories into all this and how they crop up every few pages. A very good tool for keeping a reader engaged I must say, and you've done it masterfully. It's also clear that you possess a very deep knowledge of the game, which others in that category (I guess most of us, if we're on these forums!) can appreciate, I'm sure.

Now, I could go on just heaping praise, but I do have something to contribute aswell!

I've gone through all 51 pages that you have so far, and made grammatical, spelling and general changes to text in some places so the story is fluent in terms of the language it is written in. Please do not take this as too harsh a criticism or anything; all I want to do is help out!

So, without further ado, please see the following link for a .rtf file (open in microsoft word or some other word processor) which details changes you may consider making: http://www.2shared.c...orrections.html

As an example, let's take page 1, the format is as follows:

Page 1:
Current: Why must she always be so annoying! Moments like this makes me wanna leave candlekeep for good...

Suggested: Why must she always be so annoying! Moments like this make me wanna leave candlekeep for good?

A very basic correction, but in other places I have changed a fair bit of the text, for example, say...

Page 16:
Current: Home in sight! At last! Our life quest journey about to reach its finale.

Suggested: Home in sight! At last! Our great journey is about to reach its finale.

(?Life quest journey? just does not make sense, hence the rewording, or rather outright removal of those words. You could use words like epic, grand etc rather than great?but I think ?great? suits best here.)

These are just 2 examples to show you the format I've used; it's not done to be patronising but i've merely quoted your text in each suggestion first so it's easy for you to track it down, as well as the page number.

I hope you find all this useful - it took me some time, although nowhere near what it took you i'm sure to do all that you've done!

All the best.

Hi, I am very glad that you enjoy the comic. But most of all thank you so very much for taking the time to help me with the grammatical corrections and build up of sentences. That is were I really lack and I am ever grateful for your amazing help. I am in plans to make a webpage for the Baldur' Gate Comic and I will implement all your corrections when the webpage is done. It must have taken some time to go though all the text, again many thanks! I wish I could repay in some way to all of you that have aided me with grammatical corrections and also to the ones with constructive criticism about the artwork. I will keep on trucking with the comic until it is done and hope that you all will stick with me.

Best regards and thanks!

[prune1]

Hi, I am very glad that you enjoy the comic. But most of all thank you so very much for taking the time to help me with the grammatical corrections and build up of sentences. That is were I really lack and I am ever grateful for your amazing help. I am in plans to make a webpage for the Baldur' Gate Comic and I will implement all your corrections when the webpage is done. It must have taken some time to go though all the text, again many thanks! I wish I could repay in some way to all of you that have aided me with grammatical corrections and also to the ones with constructive criticism about the artwork. I will keep on trucking with the comic until it is done and hope that you all will stick with me.

Best regards and thanks!

Happy to hear you like it.

The way I did this was I actually googled you (flysoup) and found some art page (cannot remember the website now!) where you keep your stuff and went ahead and downloaded each image of the comic separately and went through it; it would be easier if you could keep an updated .rar file or something so one does not have to get each image at a time, or of course a webpage as you say with a similar feature or some other sort of ease of accessibility.

Oh, and anyone and everyone is welcome to look at that file and suggest where I might have gone wrong - no one is immune to mistakes! That is partly why I posted here rather than PM you, I forgot to say.

Anyhows, good luck and i'm looking forward to more!

P.S. If you made a front cover and a back page, it could actually be printed and read as a proper comic book!

[Dakk]

P.S. If you made a front cover and a back page, it could actually be printed and read as a proper comic book!

And I'd buy it

[flysoup]

Happy to hear you like it.

The way I did this was I actually googled you (flysoup) and found some art page (cannot remember the website now!) where you keep your stuff and went ahead and downloaded each image of the comic separately and went through it; it would be easier if you could keep an updated .rar file or something so one does not have to get each image at a time, or of course a webpage as you say with a similar feature or some other sort of ease of accessibility.

Oh, and anyone and everyone is welcome to look at that file and suggest where I might have gone wrong - no one is immune to mistakes! That is partly why I posted here rather than PM you, I forgot to say.

Anyhows, good luck and i'm looking forward to more!

P.S. If you made a front cover and a back page, it could actually be printed and read as a proper comic book!

I am very glad that you look forward for more and again many thanks for the aid! A updater rar is a good idea until the webpage is constructed. I am in plans to craft a front page and some bonus pages in the beginning. The comic sure does best as a printed medium.

P.S. If you made a front cover and a back page, it could actually be printed and read as a proper comic book!

And I'd buy it

Yea the dream would be to have it published as a book, but since it is a trademark of wizards of the coast and bioware I guess that can be tough. I have actually mailed them without getting any response, I didn't expect anything else though I am very glad that there are people willing to follow the comic on the web, thank you all for that!

[flysoup]

Deleted this comic page. For the new comic visit: http://bhaalspawn.com/

I chose to do this so that there wont be any confusing between the old and newly crafted/edited comic pages.
Other than that thanks you all for the constructive criticism and the inspiring words. Hope to meet you all at the
new Bhaalspawn site. The comic wouldn't have developed to what it has if it wasn't from the aid of you all.

All the best and many thanks/
Michael H Bhaalspawn

Edited by flysoup, 25 March 2010 - 02:42 PM.

[darlarosa]

thats funny XD

[prune1]

The storyteller Jan keeps the kids interest... Feel free to check out the grammatical errors prune1, if you have the time that is. I am ever grateful for the previous corrections and as I mentioned they will all be updated on the upcoming website for the Baldur's Gate Comic soon to be named the Bhaalspawn since that title suits the story better in my mind. If you (prune1) have the possibility for checking out future pages for grammatical errors then maybe I could send you the pages before updating them on the upcoming website? I would of course give you credit for being a part in the story writing. To all of you other that wants to keep contribute with visual or grammatical issues then please do so. I have all of you to thank for that the comic improves based on the constructive criticism that I have received here.

You're more than welcome to send them to me before hand. Would you like to do this via PM on this website, or e-mail?

Let me know whatever you find easiest.

Keep up the good work.

[darlarosa]

By the way so something about the noses bothers me....

[Lurker of the north]

By the way so something about the noses bothers me....

-Yeah, i know what you mean(?) ...the bottom angle's more 'heavily outlined' then usual.

-This doesn't bother me though, since i believe that they're supposed to be bulky and somewhat of a dominant facial feature.
...And the alternative might be to make them even bigger... which in turn might make them look more silly then they're meant to do. (?) This could simply be an intended "Gnome-style" nose... if so, then i'd be cool with that.

Sooo; Yes i see it too, but i didn't see it before you said it and i'm not as certain that it's a bad thing... or; i simply can't think of a better alternative?


@Fly; -That's pretty funny btw; I really like that that kid (on the far left in the bottom panel) are instantly tearing up... a lot.

If it weren't so distasteful i'd almost recommend trying to sneak in some form of farting/sharting-reference (i.e. sound-effect), but i'm not sure how that would be done in an un-obvious way + it might be too much.(?)

Edited by Lurker of the north, 07 July 2009 - 11:11 PM.

[Lurker of the north]

@Prune1;

-Oh, i quickly looked through your corrections and regarding page 45; I believe that a better change would be to just remove the 'inn' from the original sentence, since "the Friendly Arm" should, i my mind, refer to the structure as a whole.

so: "?temple of wisdom in (the) 'Friendly Arm'..."

-Well... something like that anyway. (?)

[flysoup]

You're more than welcome to send them to me before hand. Would you like to do this via PM on this website, or e-mail?

Let me know whatever you find easiest.

Keep up the good work.

Many thanks for aiding me and joining the train of the BG Comic! I could email them to you if that is ok. PM me your email. Again many many thanks!

By the way so something about the noses bothers me....

Well it is gnomish noses after all That is the charming thing with comics, the possibility to exaggerate visual things to the extreme. As Lurker of the north mention below I could exaggerate and I agree to that.

By the way so something about the noses bothers me....

-Yeah, i know what you mean(?) ...the bottom angle's more 'heavily outlined' then usual.

-This doesn't bother me though, since i believe that they're supposed to be bulky and somewhat of a dominant facial feature.
...And the alternative might be to make them even bigger... which in turn might make them look more silly then they're meant to do. (?) This could simply be an intended "Gnome-style" nose... if so, then i'd be cool with that.

Sooo; Yes i see it too, but i didn't see it before you said it and i'm not as certain that it's a bad thing... or; i simply can't think of a better alternative?


@Fly; -That's pretty funny btw; I really like that that kid (on the far left in the bottom panel) are instantly tearing up... a lot.

If it weren't so distasteful i'd almost recommend trying to sneak in some form of farting/sharting-reference (i.e. sound-effect), but i'm not sure how that would be done in an un-obvious way + it might be too much.(?)

Hahahaha! The farting idea sounds wonderful, why didn't I think about that! If I just had made the panel a bit bigger showing more of the gnome kids then I would have gone for your idea straight away. I must remember it for future pages when similar happenings might occur. But I could as you mentioned implement some fart clouds

@Prune1;

-Oh, i quickly looked through your corrections and regarding page 45; I believe that a better change would be to just remove the 'inn' from the original sentence, since "the Friendly Arm" should, i my mind, refer to the structure as a whole.

so: "?temple of wisdom in (the) 'Friendly Arm'..."

-Well... something like that anyway. (?)

Yea you are absolutely right about that, that is my error. Thanks for pointing it out, it will be changed. All the changes will be up on the future website and hopefully on a even more further into the future printed version if I ever can get in touch and get allowed to do so by the owners of the trademark. But maybe I still can print it as long as it is for free and a fan comic Got to save some money for the printing though...

[yarpen]

One thing to complain - I just don't like Khalid here. I know, that at his portrait he looks as fierce warrior - but for me he's more a type of slightly scared militia-shieldbearer who's under absolute Jaheira control His face is telling ya "wanna get some?" but it should "h-h-hey what-ss go-ing on?"

[flysoup]

One thing to complain - I just don't like Khalid here. I know, that at his portrait he looks as fierce warrior - but for me he's more a type of slightly scared militia-shieldbearer who's under absolute Jaheira control His face is telling ya "wanna get some?" but it should "h-h-hey what-ss go-ing on?"

But maybe Jaheira ordered Khalid to take on such a facial expression I know that his voice-set in the game is more towards the slightly scared personality, still I think he is a very decent fighter and I don't think that he would hide behind a shield when the action is at hand.

[darlarosa]

One thing to complain - I just don't like Khalid here. I know, that at his portrait he looks as fierce warrior - but for me he's more a type of slightly scared militia-shieldbearer who's under absolute Jaheira control His face is telling ya "wanna get some?" but it should "h-h-hey what-ss go-ing on?"

But maybe Jaheira ordered Khalid to take on such a facial expression I know that his voice-set in the game is more towards the slightly scared personality, still I think he is a very decent fighter and I don't think that he would hide behind a shield when the action is at hand.

I concur

Theres a diffrence between being shy and being scared.

[flysoup]

And here is the wizard that thinks that everyone besides him "the genius" is a monkey.



Edwin Odesseiron, a member of the Red Wizards of Thay specialized in conjuration magic and under the impression that he is an exceptional genius.

Edited by flysoup, 10 July 2009 - 06:18 AM.

[flysoup]

Drizzt, who has forsaken the evil ways of his people is one of few drow known to live on the surface. He holds himself to the highest ideals but does not expect the same of others. Drizzt carries two blades, nicknamed Twinkle and Icingdeath. He also carries a unique Figurine of Wondrous Power which summons his black panther companion Guenhwyvar.

(Drizzt Do'Urden is a RA Salvatore creation)