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A Series of Queries


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#1 Sir_Carnifex

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Posted 15 May 2008 - 08:55 PM

While traveling the Forgotten Realms, I have come across a few things that present some interesting questions.

1. The grand pianos have - count em! - eighty-nine keys. That's right, eighty-nine instead of eighty-eight. Not to mention that the BGII version begins on C and ends on E instead of beginning on A and ending on C. Is this some fantasy piano that was invented before the modern piano? Perhaps new piano makers found the extra key unnecessary? Franz Liszt would have had a ball having an extra key to hit and I'm sure Victor Borge would have had some comments about these most peculiar pianos.

2. Taking a leisurely walk through the latest series of deserted tombs, it struck me: why are all the torches lit? And who is the mysterious entity who so conscientiously sees to the proper lighting of these oh-so-visited dungeons? Perhaps Korax would have the decency to do it, but he died in BG1 if I recall correctly. Maybe there's another amiable ghoul tending the graves.

3. The Cowled Wizards object to a cure minor wounds spell cast in the darkest corner of Athkatla's streets by threatening to inflict severe punishment upon the miscreants who transgressed the law. Why is this, considering that they care not if you put on a myriad of magical manifestations right in front of their very eyes in the government building?

4. Why do mages insist on wearing long robes even while hacking their way through a forest complete with fallen trees, thorny bushes, and whatever else annoying that resides there? Those who sell mage robes probably do great business. Irenicus must be the only wizard who has common sense (if no fashion sense).

5. Why are the sewers accessed through one of the ritziest sections of town? Perhaps the other sections are not so fortunate to have sewers? And while on this topic, why have the sewer entrances on a bridge the leads over a canal? One must wonder at the genius who planned the City of Coin.

6. Why are skeletons white when everyone knows that old bones turn yellow? Have they invented a bleaching compound already?

7. Why are mummies immune to normal arrows while skeletons are not? Arrow-proof embalming? Or kevlar rags? Either way, it'd be nice if the PC could use something along those lines for himself. It would save a spell slot.

8. Why can wizards cast hundreds of different spells by saying the exact same thing? Clerics have their own magic word, too (as do druids). Is it in the manner of hand gestures that they do, or the though process through their minds? And what about sorcerers who have an innate ability rather than one learned through books?

9. There are many, many giant spiders around Faerun. Where are all the rest of the giant insects? Wouldn't there be giant flies for the spiders to feed on?

10. Why are all bathtubs always filled with water? And CLEAN water, too. Evidently no one bothers to take baths. Perhaps they like to sail boats.

11. How can vampires bite through solid steel armor? I can understand their being able to lay waste to unarmored party members such as mages, but they must have either extra strong teeth, a good set of dentures, or they have an awfully rich dentist.

12. Proficiency slots are needed to wield a club? Swordsmanship requires intensive training, but a club is, essentially, a baseball bat. I believe that these were also the preferred weapons before training halls were established which means that they should require no proficiency slots.

13. How can dragons hide themselves in human form? Sure, they can magically shape-change and fool everyone from a distance. But that breath! Anyone who ventured close would be floored instantly. Then again, perhaps this explains why Bel Dalemark's supply of breath mints was stolen...

14. How much illithium does it take to coat one mace of disruption? The answer is, of course, two-hundred pounds! Now I find this hard to believe, so my view is that, after modifying the weapon, Cromwell keeps the remaining 199 pounds to himself for workdwarf's compensation.

15. Why do shadows chunk? And why do they disappear as soon as there is light? Isn't light required for a shadow to exist? Lo! I sense these are no ordinary shadows!

16. Why does it take twenty hours to travel from the city gates to the De'Arnise Keep, but it only takes eight hours to travel back? And on a similar note, why can Garren Windspear travel all the way from the hills to Athkatla and back within eight hours? His name should be Windfoot, not Windspear.

Edited by Sir_Carnifex, 06 July 2009 - 01:45 PM.

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#2 Scipio

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Posted 15 May 2008 - 09:39 PM

While traveling the Forgotten Realms, I have come across a few things that present some interesting questions.

1. The grand pianos have - count em! - eighty-nine keys. That's right, eighty-nine instead of eighty-eight. Not to mention that the BGII version begins on C and ends on E instead of beginning on A and ending on C. Is this some fantasy piano that was invented before the modern piano? Perhaps new piano makers found the extra key unnecessary? Franz Liszt would have had a ball having an extra key to hit and I'm sure Victor Borge would have had some comments about these most peculiar pianos.

The extra key serves three purposes:
1. It allows them to play The Lost Chord. It sounds remarkably like the opening chord of The Beatles' "Eight days A Week" which they've worked into their version, "Eleven Days A Tenday".
2. You mean you haven't found that clicking the extra key Quickloads your last saved game?
3. Right-clicking on that extra key makes your favourite NPC take his/her clothes off and do a pole dance.

Their pianos may be different on Toril but they have the same Wands of Summoning as us. This is a great pity. I'd prefer a Wand of Summoning Jennifer Aniston.


2. Taking a leisurely walk through the latest series of deserted tombs, it struck me: why are all the torches lit? And who is the mysterious entity who so conscientiously sees to the proper lighting of these oh-so-visited dungeons? Perhaps Korax would have the decency to do it, but he died in BG1 if I recall correctly. Maybe there's another amiable ghoul tending the graves.

It's a Hollywood device. In horror movies the heroine will always enter a basement if it's dark. In BG/BG2 the adventurers will always enter a tavern if there's lots of strong Dwarven ale. Actually I'm not sure if this answers your question, but I wish they had an NPC who looks like Naomi Watts in "The Ring".


3. The Cowled Wizards object to a cure minor wounds spell cast in the darkest corner of Athkatla's streets by threatening to inflict severe punishment upon the miscreants who transgressed the law. Why is this, considering that they care not if you put on a myriad of magical manifestations right in front of their very eyes in the government building?

Seriously, I've never been hassled by the Cowled Osamas when I've cast Cure spells. I think they just don't like players from England. Tolgerias is Australian.



4. Why do mages insist on wearing long robes even while hacking their way through a forest complete with fallen trees, thorny bushes, and whatever else annoying that resides there? Those who sell mage robes probably do great business. Irenicus must be the only wizard who has common sense (if no fashion sense).

Have you seen Nalia in a miniskirt? She has bandy legs and she doesn't shave them. Be thankful for small mercies.


5. Why are the sewers accessed through one of the ritziest sections of town? Perhaps the other sections are not so fortunate to have sewers? And while on this topic, why have the sewer entrances on a bridge the leads over a canal? One must wonder at the genius who planned the City of Coin.

I've heard of posh areas of London, New York and Eshowe, Zululand, where they have sewers in the smart parts of town. I hate those huge cities like Stockholm and Los Angeles where the sewage piles up outside the five-star restaurants because they forgot to include them in the infrastructure. As for access from a bridge, they have different geometry on the world of Toril. You notice this when you make one of your NPCs walk to the very top of the screen, away from your point of view. He or she doesn't appear to look any smaller with distance because of the hypergeometrically distorted curvature of space on Toril. When you cast Imprison your victims actually float in the air four feet above the ground but you can't see them. If you wait a while they throw small pebbles at you to get your attention.
I did battle with monsters, and they became me, and when I gazed into the abyss, the abyss looked away shyly.
See, it helps not to believe all the stuff that philosophers spout.

#3 Zyraen

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Posted 15 May 2008 - 10:19 PM

More unsolved Mysteries

- don't they *ever* clear up the mess at Waukeen's Promenade? What are those Guards doing?
- why does everyone cheerfully wish to join me, sometimes for the flimsiest of reasons?
- why doesn't anyone in my party ever Balk at having to fight a Dragon or some such? (I know K&K does... )
- why does the "best" course of action usually involve a large number of killings?
- why does my party think nothing of taking out a nest of vampires, something that the local Paladins and local Thieves Guild wouldn't even think about doing?
- why doesn't anyone ever file a police report even though there are guards within sight, but instead come running to ME for help ?

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#4 Tassadar88

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Posted 15 May 2008 - 11:41 PM

More unsolved Mysteries
- don't they *ever* clear up the mess at Waukeen's Promenade? What are those Guards doing?

Ugh... Jester once tried to make a repaired version of Waukeen´s Promenade. The data was lost IIRC. I tried once too, but had little motivation to finish. However, I should be able to find my edits. It is far from complete, mind you, as it is a relatively huge change.
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#5 Nix

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Posted 16 May 2008 - 08:40 AM

-Why do people just stand around all day in the same spot waiting for you to find them?

-Ever found it curious that people don't bat an eyelash when you and your merry band stroll into their homes and start rummaging through their closets?

-And why is it that the only subject found in reading material throughout all the Realms is History? That and people's diaries.

#6 Tempest

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Posted 16 May 2008 - 09:09 AM

-Why does no one bat an eyelash when six adventurers in armor, armed to the teeth and lugging more wands, potions, enchanted rings, and other magic items, walk into the council hall?

-Why do the rangers never make any mention of being excited or anything when they come face-to-face with their favored enemy? (Darian does-granted, his favored enemies are dragons, which aren't exactly common)

-Why do none of the romantic epilogues ever take into account lifespan differences between, say, elves and humans? (Okay, I know Saerileth does, for one)

-Why is an enormously powerful artifact like the Rift Device hidden beneath the Athkatla sewers of all places?

-Why do the gods only take note of Charname at epic levels, when all Baervan/Helm/Torm/Shar/etc do for their most powerful mortal agents on the Prime Material Plane is give them a special holy symbol?

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#7 Scipio

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Posted 16 May 2008 - 09:52 AM

WARNING!!!
Unless there are strenuous objections from any of you, I am stealing all of these questions to add to the list that the Athkatla Herald's Agony Auntie intends to answer on Monday.

FURTHER WARNING!!!
Agony Auntie will identify the source of any of these questions that she may publish and answer in her column.

FINAL WARNING!!!
It's your fault for coming up with funnier things than Agony Auntie might.
I did battle with monsters, and they became me, and when I gazed into the abyss, the abyss looked away shyly.
See, it helps not to believe all the stuff that philosophers spout.

#8 Sir_Carnifex

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Posted 16 May 2008 - 03:38 PM

If Agony Auntie's answers are as clear as Scipio's, we'll be much more in the dark after reading them than when the question was unanswered. But...that's the idea, right? :D

More unsolved mysteries are coming soon!
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#9 Scipio

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Posted 16 May 2008 - 11:11 PM

If Agony Auntie's answers are as clear as Scipio's, we'll be much more in the dark after reading them than when the question was unanswered. But...that's the idea, right? :D

I have researched all of the above equestions exhaustively in the last few minutes and I conclude there are no answers for them anyway. Therefore Agony Auntie argues that some answer is better than none. :tease:

I asked her, "Do you have to answer EVERYTHING? Have you never heard of a rhetorical question?"

To which she replied, "Rhetorical questions don't pay my rent. As for my answers, my editor checks them all for accuracely and impartiality."
I did battle with monsters, and they became me, and when I gazed into the abyss, the abyss looked away shyly.
See, it helps not to believe all the stuff that philosophers spout.

#10 berelinde

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Posted 16 May 2008 - 11:44 PM

1. The grand pianos have - count em! - eighty-nine keys. That's right, eighty-nine instead of eighty-eight. Not to mention that the BGII version begins on C and ends on E instead of beginning on A and ending on C. Is this some fantasy piano that was invented before the modern piano? Perhaps new piano makers found the extra key unnecessary? Franz Liszt would have had a ball having an extra key to hit and I'm sure Victor Borge would have had some comments about these most peculiar pianos.

Now that's what I call attention to detail.

2. Taking a leisurely walk through the latest series of deserted tombs, it struck me: why are all the torches lit? And who is the mysterious entity who so conscientiously sees to the proper lighting of these oh-so-visited dungeons? Perhaps Korax would have the decency to do it, but he died in BG1 if I recall correctly. Maybe there's another amiable ghoul tending the graves.

Curse you! Not another mod idea!

3. The Cowled Wizards object to a cure minor wounds spell cast in the darkest corner of Athkatla's streets by threatening to inflict severe punishment upon the miscreants who transgressed the law. Why is this, considering that they care not if you put on a myriad of magical manifestations right in front of their very eyes in the government building?

Yeah, I don't recall ever being harassed for casting clerical spells, either.

-Why do none of the romantic epilogues ever take into account lifespan differences between, say, elves and humans? (Okay, I know Saerileth does, for one)

BG1 doesn't have epilogues, obviously, but Gavin's romance makes extensive reference to the lifespan differences between humans and other, longer lived races. His ToB epilogue will, too, but only to a point. I'm not comfortable telling an elven PC what she'll do after he's dead. Better to just acknowledge what goes on during their lives together.

"Imagination is given to man to console him for what he is not; a sense of humor, for what he is." - Oscar Wilde

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#11 Sir_Carnifex

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Posted 17 May 2008 - 08:55 AM

Now that's what I call attention to detail.

Not really... The piano just looked odd at a glance so I had to inspect further. :D

Yeah, I don't recall ever being harassed for casting clerical spells, either.

Apparently I was the only one to encounter this? Perhaps it was a glitch or something.
"A positive attitude may not solve all your problems, but it will annoy enough people to make it worth the effort." - Herm Albright

#12 Sammi Somara

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Posted 17 May 2008 - 04:36 PM

Now that's what I call attention to detail.

Not really... The piano just looked odd at a glance so I had to inspect further. :D

Yeah, I don't recall ever being harassed for casting clerical spells, either.

Apparently I was the only one to encounter this? Perhaps it was a glitch or something.



No, I got harassed for cleric spells too.
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#13 Sir_Carnifex

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Posted 17 May 2008 - 10:23 PM

No, I got harassed for cleric spells too.

Good! I'm glad to see they aren't just singling out me for some reason as that would be very unfair. Not that I expect fair treatment from the Cowled Wizards. They don't always get fair treatment from me, either. :D
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#14 Nix

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Posted 17 May 2008 - 11:02 PM

But, Cowled Wizards don't have jurisdiction over cleric spells! I smell the potential for a lawsuit.

#15 Crazee

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Posted 18 May 2008 - 01:17 AM

My only query, and it isn't a very interesting one, is why Charname only has Spellhold on his mind when returning from the Underdark and talks back to all the NPCs in Athkatla? Surely he/she should be enquiring about what has happened in the time he/she was gone? Or, you know, Bodhi...

#16 Cal Jones

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Posted 19 May 2008 - 05:43 AM

Well, after I had a nice dinner with Aran Linvail (RE content...) he told me to come back and let me know I was safe once I'd returned. I'm still in Ust Natha at the moment, so we'll see if he remembers, shall we?

My biggest grip is this: you've just had your soul sucked out. You are dying on the inside. Why don't any of the love interests voice concern? I mean, sheesh! They only seem to care if you turn slayer whilst sharing a bedroll with them in the gauntlet, and then it's all "whoa, get away from me!" For better for worse, indeed. Bah!

#17 Zyraen

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Posted 19 May 2008 - 05:32 PM

Cal : Lol ironically Kova and Kiyone both show concern over that... despite neither being romantically interested in you. Kiyone even goes so far as to ask indirectly, "Do you want us to try to fight you while you're in that form? We might beat you, but we might kill you..." Whereas Kova asks "Beating Irenicus is dandy, but how are we going to restore your soul? No equipment, no spells, no sophistry... your soul might die with Irenicus and that would be really bad for you, right?"

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#18 berelinde

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Posted 19 May 2008 - 06:00 PM

Cal, I guess it depends on the NPC. I know that Kivan has something to say about it, and my guys all have some sort of reaction to it, too. Haldamir expresses concern, or as much concern as he is capable of feeling, and Gavin expresses a lot more, since he's got more to give. But as I am reminded every time I look at my to-do list, Gavin's still a long way from release.

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#19 Tempest

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Posted 19 May 2008 - 06:10 PM

Also to Cal, for my part, Darian doesn't see anything he *can* say about you turning into the Slayer, even if you're in a romance with him. He's badly worried, but just doesn't see anything he can say or do, for good or ill, so he keeps his peace. To him, it's something you'll have to deal with on your own-even if he cares about you, there are some things that are entirely between you and yourself.

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#20 berelinde

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Posted 19 May 2008 - 06:30 PM

Does he say that? If he does, that's cool. But if he doesn't... well, maybe he should, because it's going to look like he doesn't care. Don't forget that the player only knows what the PC sees and hears. If the player sees Darian ignoring it, well, inner motivations for remaining silent aren't going to matter much.

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