232 replies to this topic

[Shadowhawke]

Good new chapter, Tempest. . I was especially intrigued by the developing relationship between Imoen and Alex. Somehow, it doesn't quite sit right with my interpretation of Imoen as being so afraid... but the way you've portrayed it here makes it work somehow. I'm also curious as to see where Ajantis and Alex will go. Oh, and I loved the philosophical exploration of the Taint.

[Tempest]

I just hope you don't make Alex dismiss the taint. I'm confident that you won't make her a kind of person who's so used to her tainted blood that the *real* taint just doesn't affect her,

Satisfied?

I was especially intrigued by the developing relationship between Imoen and Alex. Somehow, it doesn't quite sit right with my interpretation of Imoen as being so afraid... but the way you've portrayed it here makes it work somehow.

I always saw Imoen as being a very reluctant adventurer in BG1. Yes, she's happy and innocent and cheerful, but she's starting to see hints of some very dark things in her sister. She watched Alex strike down a helpless man (albeit a half-orc who had been trying to beat Alex to death with a large mace) in cold blood, and she really doesn't like what's going on. But I have plans for Imoen, oh yes...


As for Alex and Ajantis... I'm still not certain where exactly they're going to go. While I have pretty definite plans for what I'm going to do with Imoen, Jaheira, Khalid, and Xan, Ajantis is a different story. I had actually intended him to be killed by Alexandria while she was possessed by the void in the Nashkel Mines (yes, I deliberately introduced him into the story, fully intending to kill him off before long), but I found myself writing things differently, and I'm going with my instincts on this one. Of course, having Ajantis as a regular member of the cast now opens up a whole new can of worms for some scenes further down the line I've already sketched out...

[Solstice]

And Alex's journey just gets darker and darker. I have to parrot Shadowhawke again, too: I like the philisophical approach you take to the story, and I like how you interpret the taint. I'm glad you didn't kill of Ajantis-I'm a sucker for romance, and even if you don't intend to pursue it, I'm interested to see just what happens between two people as wildly different as Alex and Ajantis, even if it doesn't lead to romance.

[Solstice]

Very good new chapter as usual, Tempest. I'm sorry for being skeptical of Alexandria at first-she's definitely an interesting character, and you're doing a good job of keeping a lid on the latent Mary Sue that exists in every fanfic protagonist. I particularly enjoyed her relationship with Jaheira-their relationship is very believable, and I also liked Alex's developing relationship with Ajantis and how it's intertwined with everything that's going on. Looking forward to seeing her next adventure!

[Tempest]

Bad news. I'd planned to post Chapter 13: Surface Tension tonight, but my computer took a blue screen o death, and when I booted it back up, I realized I had saved absolutely zero work. I get to write the whole thing over from scratch now. Also, I will be adding a Table of Contents to the first post, which I'll try to keep updated as I add each new chapter.

Also a bit of a preview: Surface Tension is a bit of a break from the dark and philisophical chapters that have preceded it. It's a fairly short chapter, and is more light-hearted than any of the recent chapters. But don't worry-this is but a temporary reprieve for Alexandria.

Minor Aside: For those who have read my other fanfic works, Perspectives and Cold Fire, which you can find in the Fanfic Library thread, I've added a table of contents to those as well, so if you want to see if you've missed anything, feel free to give them another look.

Edited by Tempest, 22 July 2007 - 06:15 PM.

[Shadowhawke]

*whistles appreciatively* I really like the finesse with which you weave the scenes together, Tempest. Very nice work indeed. The character portrayal of the last two chapters has been really interesting, and I'm definitely beginning to like Alexandria; she becomes more and more realistic the more you write her. Also, loved the last scene with Tranzig. *snickers*. There seemed to be such a poetic element to it

[Tempest]

Thanks again, folks!

Chapter 13 actually changed extensively when I was rewriting it after my computer died earlier in the week (not just in the name change). Among other things, I had actually written the encounter with Tranzig in the Jovial Juggler as a fully fledged tavern brawl that Alexandria started.

Action junkies, rejoice. Alexandria's next stop: Peldvale. Don't know what exactly is going to happen there, but it has action written all over it.

[Celestine]

I can't help but echo Shadowhawke's comments. The last chapter was especially fun to read.

[Solstice]

*Taps foot impatiently*

So, when's the next chapter due?

[Tempest]

Sorry, but it might be out today, or it might wait even longer. I've come home for a few weeks between the end of summer semester and the start of fall semester, so I've had very little time to write, and what time I have had, I've spent trying to finish coding Darian. Alexandria is by no means forgotten, but she's simply one of my lower priorities to work on.

[Kellen]

Which luckily for me gives me time to catch up since I'm still doing it.

[Tempest]

Er, what do you mean by that? Or did you mean to post that in the MST thread?

[Kellen]

I haven't read all the chapters yet. I sat down and read to about 5, but I still have up to the current chapter.

[Tempest]

Ah. By "doing it", I thought you meant you were writing a fanfic of your own or some such. Carry on.

[Shadowhawke]

Sorry I'm so late in commenting about the last chapter, Tempest. The last section was an utter joy to read .

[Tempest]

Thank you again, Shadow.

I'm sorry the next chapter is taking so long, but I've been out of town for the weekend, and what time I've had to write, I've been devoting to working on Darian, my mod npc, for those unfamiliar with it. I've also had problems deciding what exactly the next chapter is going to be on, but I've settled on a central theme/event, which will, unless I change it, serve a very interesting purpose that y'all will only realize much further down the line, though you may begin madly speculating as soon as the chapter gets posted...

Best guess is tomorrow or Tuesday, depending on how badly the writing bug bites me and how much time I have to write it. And for those interested, here's the working title:

Spoiler

What the Dawn Brings

.

[Shadowhawke]

As always, it's nice to see you furthering the story with a new chapter, Tempest . Alexandria's thoughts on her own 'new dawn' were well done and realistic. Just one small little nitpick; you accidentally slipped into first person in one part.

nodded, tossed the bartender a few coins to pay for my drinks, and walked out of the tavern.

Seeing as the rest of the piece is in third-person, it doesn't really make sense. Other than that, no more grammatical nitpicks from me. . It was a good addition, although I was curious about the calmness of the priest. Although perhaps he is used to being abused by people of other faiths or the atheists?

[Tempest]

Thank you-I really meant to have this up last week, but I started putting it off, and one thing led to another...

As for the new dawn gig-I always saw the Baldur's Gate saga as being a very dark experience for Charname. He/she is dealing with all manner of things beyond rational thought, some coming from without, and some from within. Lathander is traditionally one of the foremost "bright" deities in the Forgotten Realms-he is terminally optimistic and cheerful, but Alexandria's turned her back on everything he stands for. For her, the dawn is ominous, and not at all a pleasing thing.

Just one small little nitpick; you accidentally slipped into first person in one part.

Oops.

It was a good addition, although I was curious about the calmness of the priest. Although perhaps he is used to being abused by people of other faiths or the atheists?

No, I figured that as the high priest of the town and de facto mayor, he wouldn't lose his temper after a simple adventurer explodes in his face. Besides, he's a Morninglord-in his mind, every day truly is a new beginning, and he does wholeheartedly believe Alexandria will come to accept the Lathandrite philosophy. Whether this will actually happen or not, of course, remains to be seen.

Oh, and this chapter was another harbinger of something very significant that will occur much later in Alexandria's journey. The questions of what, why, and how, I leave to your imagination...

[Solstice]

I hope that doesn't mean Alexandria's going to become a follower of Shar!

Just got around to reading the latest chapter, and it was enjoyable as ever. I like the balance Alexandria strikes between angsty and noble-she reminds me a lot of Fade, actually, being a tiefling with temper issues, skillful with a blade, and openly critical of the gods, yet nonetheless noble of sorts. As always, looking forward to more!

[Solar's Harper]

I cannot believe I did not notice this one sooner.
Tempest, you are a natural at writing.

I particulary liked the chapters during and after the Nashkel mine, and can't wait to see the take on events with Tazok and eventually Sarevok. And the last chapter is my current fav, I agree wholeheartedly with Alex's rant at that Lathander priest.

The class that Alexandria is unique, and she certainly seems in touch with the spirtual side more than the factual, charming nonetheless.

I particulary liked the way you handled the other characters, especially Imoen. I got tired of seeing her being treated like the village idoit in other fanfics, she does have a head on her shoulders people. Sheesh.

And Xan, who could forget "We're all doomed!" quotes from him, glad you mentioned that within his first few lines.

Suprised however that you allowed Tranzig to live, intriguging though.

Anyway I dare say that the return to Candlekeep chapter should be highly interesting, seeing on how Sarevok and his goons utterly screwed the place and killed most residents there, replacing them with doppleganglers. Can't wait to see how you handle it.

Keep up the good work buddy.
And beware the void...