232 replies to this topic

[Tempest]

Thanks again for the feedback!

About the thing of Alex being a tiefling and a soulknife (the term for people who can manifest mind blades), it may seem like a big issue now, but I'm planning for it to actually decline in importance. She definitely won't become a Drizzt from the prejudices of others-I have to agree with Shadowhawke that not many people would see her eyes and immediately think "tiefling", and her mind blade isn't a readily apparent ability until she uses it, and even then she could say she cast a spell to conjure it, though her travelling companions may be a different story. For the most part, Alex doesn't give a damn what other people think about her or her friends unless it starts to personally affect her (like the case with the guard at the FAI). Especially her status as a tiefling, I'm going to keep fairly low-key from here on out, except for the next chapter (for various reasons, what I have planned for the next chapter do heavily relate to Alex as a tiefling).

Alex's ruminations earlier in the chapter were also good. Plus, after everything... it's very understandable that she just felt like ranting a bit and getting things off her chest.

You'll see her do it again in the future. Alex is a hot-tempered individual who is deeply resentful of anyone she thinks is trying to manipulate her-if she were in BG2 already, her first instinct upon meeting either Aran or Bodhi would be to draw her mind blade and attack. She doesn't like getting drawn into the iron crisis, which she would have a hard time caring less about, and is prone to thinking when things seem out of her control.

I hope you will not let her become a clichéish "powerful heroine who suffers because of people's prejudice" kind of a character. Like Drizzt. Eww.

Alex is far too hot-tempered to become a cliche like that. She doesn't suffer inwardly in the slightest because of people disliking her once they realize she's a tiefling. Her basic attitude is "Yes, I'm a tiefling. Got a problem with that?", which isn't to say I'm planning on letting her become that kind of cliche, either. The problem is, there's a cliche out there for virtually every kind of character, and everyone inevitably ends up falling into one.

What bothered me in the first chapters was how well two 8-year-olds talked. They sounded and acted almost like adults!

Confession: I spent as little time around kids as I can, and am not familiar with their speech patterns.

In the last chapter so far Jaheira was also captured extremely well, and I loved the tensions that already started to cook up. Can't wait to see more of that.

You won't have to wait long. The next chapter opens with a big argument between Alex and Jaheira...

[Shadowhawke]

You are indeed a man of your word, Tempest. The argument/heated discussion between Jaheira and Alex was actually very interesting. It certainly gives a new perspective on Jaheira's well-known theme of balance. Of course, the whole thing of Alex knowing Jaheira is right was quite amusing too. Especially the well-timed interruption.

I also enjoyed the introduction of Ajantis. I'll be honest and admit I've never played with him in my party, but you've portrayed him as interesting enough here, so I'm looking forwards to seeing where you'll take it.

[Ilmatar]

*squeee* I loved the sixth chapter! The talk between Jaheira and Alex indeed filled all my expectations. Jaheira was portrayed once again extremely well, and the argument felt truly natural and heated. You also write battles very well - the reader gets a very clear picture of what is happening and how.

Just like Shadowhawke, I have never actually had Ajantis in my party or had any real interest for him. Now I'm curious to see how he fits in with Alex.

Wonderful, wonderful chapter.

[Tempest]

I actually hate writing battle scenes, to be honest. I just feel awkward writing them, compared to dialogue scenes, scenery descriptions, or a character thinking to themself. I'm glad y'all enjoy them, though. The Jaheira-Alex talk, though, was fun to write. I really got interested in how druids look at the world from PnP (complete handbook of druids and all), and I like having Jaheira in the party simply because her outlook on the world differs so sharply from the rest of the party (especially Alex), and she isn't afraid to let everyone else know. Ajantis is going to further complicate issues, especially in the next chapter. He's a paladin of Helm, and he and Alex won't exactly be seeing eye to eye. But Alex does reluctantly acknowledge that Jaheira is right about some things. Whether this will hold true for Ajantis as well, you'll have to find out...

[Solstice]

I never had Ajantis in my party, either-I never played BG1 until after BG2 and ToB, and Ajantis always felt like Anomen's long-lost twin. I'm looking forward to seeing what you do with him, though. None of the characters you've created here (Darian, Xarana, Alexandria) are one-dimensional, and since BG1 is almost devoid of any personality for the npc's, I'll be eagerly awaiting your take on the paladin. Loved the talk with Jaheira-both women felt very natural, and it was fun to see them go head to head.

Don't want to be stepping on any toes, but are you going to be making Ajantis (or someone else) a love interest, or can I safely play BG1 Tutu with the npc project without spoiler warnings?

[Tempest]

I'm proofreading chapter 7 atm-it should be going up within the half-hour. And I hope y'all don't mind a bit of a detour into the realm of the philisophical-Alex and Ajantis have strikingly different views of the world.

Don't want to be stepping on any toes, but are you going to be making Ajantis (or someone else) a love interest, or can I safely play BG1 Tutu with the npc project without spoiler warnings?

Spoiler warning...

Spoiler

I haven't completely decided who Alexandria's love interest will be. It may be Ajantis, beginning after a certain event in the BG1 section, or it may be Nalia, if and when I ever get to the BG2 section. And Alexandria is human, so Xan, who will be joining the party in another chapter or two, won't be interested.

[Shadowhawke]

The was no problem with your deviating off into the philosophical realms, Tempest. . To the contrary, it proved quite interesting and insightful to both characters, although I was surprised Jaheira didn't have anything to say about it and her own worldview.

I must say, Alex's perspective does remind me quite a lot of the other tiefling we know in the Forgotten Realms, Haer'Dalis. Their chaos theory seems quite similar. It will certainly be interesting to see how this will affect Alex's journey.

[Tempest]

To the contrary, it proved quite interesting and insightful to both characters, although I was surprised Jaheira didn't have anything to say about it and her own worldview.

Thank you. Jaheira didn't join in mainly because she'd already had her big spat with Alex, and Chapter 7 was Ajantis's turn.

Alex's perspective does remind me quite a lot of the other tiefling we know in the Forgotten Realms, Haer'Dalis. Their chaos theory seems quite similar.

I disagree. Alex isn't chaotic for the sake of chaos, the way Haer'Dalis sometimes is. Alex is deeply chaotic because her beliefs are chaotic. She's a firm believer in personal freedom, independence, and self-determination, resenting any force or person who would attempt to impose their will on her. She's going along with Jaheira, Khalid, and Ajantis mostly because there really isn't much other choice in the matter.


The main point of Chapter 7 was an examination of the law-chaos axis in DnD. So often, lawful is equated with good and chaos with evil. We see countless times deep conflicts between good and evil. Alex's argument with Ajantis was a microcosm of the conflict between law and chaos. Ajantis is a paladin of Helm, the very embodiment of law in DnD. Alex is a fiercely independent woman with a rare gift fueled purely by her own spirit. The gulf between Alex and Ajantis is as deep as the gulf between a paladin of Torm and a dreadmaster of Bane. There are certain things both can agree on-the importance of good, and the importance of law, respectively-but they will never understand one another.

[Celestine]

Excellent writing, as usual. I particularly love the last chapter you posted and I found myself agreeing to what Alex says.

[Solstice]

Just dropped by and read chapter 8-good resolution of Alex's desire to not get dragged into things, yet giving her a sound reason nonetheless. Jaheira's chiding remark after Alex got hurt felt very Jaheira-ish, and the growing tension between Alex and Imoen is a nice touch. I liked you bringing the Roenalls back into play-looking forward to seeing just how they figure into your plans.

[Shadowhawke]

I disagree. Alex isn't chaotic for the sake of chaos, the way Haer'Dalis sometimes is. Alex is deeply chaotic because her beliefs are chaotic. She's a firm believer in personal freedom, independence, and self-determination, resenting any force or person who would attempt to impose their will on her. She's going along with Jaheira, Khalid, and Ajantis mostly because there really isn't much other choice in the matter.

Ah, I see the distinction now. Fair enough.

Onto more important matters like your latest chapter, though . I liked how Khalid got his part in the spotlight, however briefly, as well as the general tone of it all. Alex confiding in Imoen and the whole bartender scene was also very well written; I hadn't really ever thought about the human side of the text flashing up on my screen whenever I bought a drink before, so that was a bit of food for thought. About Alex's healing powers, though... is this another benefit of being a soulknife, or is it the Cure Light Wounds appearing after her dream?

[Tempest]

That was her dream-granted healing, Shadow. A soulknife's special powers all have to do with the mind blade itself, and even then, I'm not using the actual PnP class as anything more than a guideline for Alex's powers. Khalid, I really have a hard time writing, so he probably won't show up in the spotlight that much. What I actually considered the biggest part of that chapter was Imoen's little scene. Alex really doesn't get along that well with Jaheira, Khalid, or Ajantis, so Imoen figures heavily into Alex's outlook.

Action junkies, you'll get your comeuppance. The next chapter is the descent into the Nashkel Mines. I'm not sure though, whether I'll try to cover the mines in one fell swoop, or break it up a little.

[cmorgan]

I should have read this earlier... solid read, an understandable philosophical basis for characterization and development, a geopolitical outlook that exceeds the simple "us vs them" with Amn and Baldur's Gate... a Jaheira that makes internally consistent sense, and an Imoen I don't recognise. The character is solid and internally consistent, just not at all the same as the one I carry around in my head. It stretches my brain to think of her this way, and I like it.

Very enjoyable read!

[Celestine]

Great chapter, the action had me gripping my seat. so I eagerly await for more.

[Solstice]

Yep. Lots of action, and well-written. I have to second Cmorgan's comment, too, about the geopolitical dimension to the story. You keep reinforcing just how much hangs in the balance, and your focus on that part of things somehow makes Sarevok's machinations seem that much more terrible than just killing Alex. I'm not so sanguine about how the party already knows there's something evil afoot on the Coast, but it does make sense if the party's been paying attention to the big picture like Jaheira has. Lookin forward to chapter 10.

[Shadowhawke]

I'm just here to add more accolades to the pile. As the others have said, solid new chapter, Tempest. Especially the interaction between all of the characters in regards to the storyline. For some reason, I quite liked the way Imoen was drawn here as well. Do keep it up.

[Tempest]

I'm glad y'all enjoyed the Nashkel Mines intro-I actually wasn't all that satisfied with it, but it's good to hear folks enjoyed it. I had originally intended to cover the entire mines in one chapter, but decided to break it up into two sections. I actually had Chapter 10 fully written and ready to post today, but I ended up completely changing my mind about what I wanted to do with it, so it will probably be a few more days before the next part of Alex's story commences.

an Imoen I don't recognise. The character is solid and internally consistent, just not at all the same as the one I carry around in my head. It stretches my brain to think of her this way, and I like it.

I suppose different people carry around different versions of the same character in their head-I'm trying to portray Imoen as the way I always saw her. She's always been a pretty ambiguous character, with no real personality until ToB, so from my experience, everyone who writes Imoen, in mod or fanfic, has a broader than normal range in their creative license. There are certain mod characters that I never include in a party with Imoen, because their interactions with her strike me as just plain wrong, and I know going in that Imoen as I see her is different yet again from how others see her. All in all, she's actually one of the harder characters for me to write.

The geopolitical thing is one of the things I really enjoy writing about and hinting at, to be honest. Alex is still mainly concerned about personal survival and finding out what Gorion was hiding from her, but she's beginning to understand just how devastating a war between Baldur's Gate and Amn would be, and as much as she may resent being drawn into the fray, the storm on the horizon is a Very Bad Thing, and she isn't the type to sit back and watch it happen. She isn't a goody-goody paladin, but her heart is, reluctantly, in the right place. The knowledge that the Roenalls are somehow involved is just a further incentive for her to get involved. Just how deeply they're involved, you'll have to wait and see...

I also feel I should mention that I always feel very awkward writing action scenes-and the next chapter has action aplenty. Grand battle scenes where everything can be stylized and put into perspective are what I generally prefer (I regard "Battle" from Perspectives as being my personal best action story thus far)-writing the actual flow of a fight and battle just feels awkward. I generally prefer the more thoughtful, dialogue-heavy chapters, but Baldur's Gate has lots and lots of action, so I'm glad it isn't too obvious that I dislike writing battles.

[Shadowhawke]

I must say, I never would have guessed that you didn't like writing battle scenes, because both those scenes and the dialogue-heavy ones read so well.

Nice work on the new chapter, by the way. You've certainly made the Nashkel mines incredibly realistic... and I really, *really* like this new interpretation of the Taint. It will be interesting to see what everyone else will make of it.

[Tempest]

Alex and her taint, or void as I call it here, will be a significant part of the next chapter. When I was writing this chapter, I knew I'd have to interpret her taint a little differently than the game does. She's a tiefling, so she's already accustomed to a taint in the blood-hers is corrupted by lingering traces of demonic ancestry, manifesting mostly in her darkvision, but the whole tainted blood thing meant I'd have to go much further with her. I always saw Charname's Bhaalspawn powers as having to cost Charname in some way, even if he or she was using the good-aligned powers, rather than the evil. Each time Alex uses her Bhaalspawn powers, the void grows a little. Even though she can bend the power of the void for good, it always costs her. She has no idea yet just what the source of the void is, but you can rest assured the question will haunt her, especially after what happened at the end of Chapter 10. Behind her iron will and fiercely independent spirit, a shadow lurks, constantly probing for weakness.

As for the mines themselves, I really wanted to give the impression that this was no "go to room A, killing monster B, take corridor C in direction D, disarming trap E in front of the door to room F..." experience. I've been in deep caverns before, and I was thinking about them as I wrote this, wondering what they would be like if your only illumination was a handful of torches, even if you personally could see almost perfectly in the dark, and you were in a cavern complex infested by kobolds, all out to kill you. Attempting to clean out the caverns is out of the question-there are far too many of them, and you're fighting them in their home terrain. The mad dash to the third level was intentionally jumbled and confused-it was a string of thoughts and actions during a wild, chaotic charge, with volleys of arrows coming from every direction and the sound and smell of kobolds everywhere. It started rationally enough, but quickly devolved into a mad rush for survival, fueled by instinct and adrenaline.

Thank you again for your praise, and I'm sorry I'm not getting this written as fast as I'd like-real life has been busy lately, and writing At Soul's Edge is admittedly one of my lower priorities.

[Solstice]

I just hope you don't make Alex dismiss the taint. I'm confident that you won't make her a kind of person who's so used to her tainted blood that the *real* taint just doesn't affect her, but I'm still a little concerned about Mary Sue syndrome here-Alex is a very exotic character, and in my experience, it's easy to let that kind of character run roughshod over everyone else (see: Chloe, Tsujatha, no offense to those modders!).

That said, it was another enjoyable helping of action and intrigue. I like your interpretation of the Nashkel Mines-feels much more realistic than the way they're portrayed in game. And the way you're interpreting the taint looks like it will get interesting down the road.

I'm always looking forward to more tales!