232 replies to this topic

[Kellen]

Diversus - Diverse, different, Opposed, or Hostile.

Eminor - To threaten, menace

Infestus hostilis - Dangerous(aggresive/hostile) enemy.

Periculosus also means dangerous, but more hazardous, so not fitting for a person.

All from this translator.

[Arkeus]

Well well, i just remembered my password on this forum (that i got for an unknown reason), so here i am, praising this wonderful fic.

So, a bit sad that there isn't any minsc and dyanheir (guess they are dead by now), though i liked Edwin's end, as i got tired of him being the badass super character in so many fics, especially when he isn't supposed to be so great personality wise (i will admit he is a badass mage).

A bit sad there isn't more imoen, but what there is of her is very, very good.

Scared stiff by Alexanria's prophetic dream, as the irenicus dungeon is, well, not of the good, especially the part that comes after it (poor imoen).

Great work so far, and i'll do more thorough comments as you post update (wink ).

[Tempest]

First of all, thank you.

Dynaheir and Minsc are actually going to pop up in the future-they just won't be joining the party, and won't be playing much of a role in the story. I like both characters, but they kill me to write for sustained periods of time.

I have problems writing happy Imoen as well, so she'll probably be more prominent in the BG2 section when she's suitably darkened for my writing tastes. I try my best to write her, but she tends to come off feeling very forced in my mind-see the most recent chapter.

Oh, and the first chapter of the BG2 section will definitely be intended for a more mature audience than usual-I have very specific plans for how I'm going to handle it, and the end result is highly unlikely to be pretty.

[Clarion]

Took a couple of tries, but I finally got through it

A few minor grammatical problems I noticed. You don't "effect" a change, you "affect" a change, and someone is "hanged" by the neck until dead, not "hung", the latter of which refers to windchimes and Christmas ornaments.

That aside, the tributes and nods I noticed were well placed, seamless.

And your writing is quite good. Kinda hard to keep up with your main character, though. She's chaos incarnate. Whoosh! Bam! What just happened?

Imoen, drunk? Gotta try that some time . That was a perfect ending for that chapter, though. Priceless.

[Tempest]

Audience casts Inflate Ego on Tempest.

Tempest's ego is inflated.

I know Alexandria's mindset can change pretty abruptly, but portraying her emotional mood shifting is something I have trouble with except for her deep, introspective moments. The aftermath of Imoen and Xan's little incident will probably be kept low-key: their private business is their private business. Especially since Chapter 33, On the Bloodstained Precipice, will be mainly about the return to Candlekeep, as currently planned.

Edit: And by the way, it's a figure of speech to effect a change, and actually proper grammar.

Edited by Tempest, 06 March 2008 - 01:54 PM.

[Clarion]

Ah, okay. I was raised by my great-grandmother to be a grammatical tyrant, and some of the rules might mayhap have changed since her day

Writing's still good. And I think you've inspired me to write about *my* characters getting Imoen drunk. Endless possibilities for fun and havoc, that! Oh, no, Tempest, you have my muse going now, darnit. I really (with all due affection) hate you!

[Dark-Mage]

The next chapter is a little overdue is it not Tempest?

[Tempest]

It is, but I've had a lot on my plate this week, and haven't had any time to write. It'll get done when it gets done, but I can say that the crew isn't going to return to Candlekeep quite yet-got one more chapter of "filler" to cover, which will put Imoen in the spotlight.

[Tempest]

This is a public service announcement. If anyone sees my muse, I am paying a bounty for its severed head delivered to my door.

On my fourth rewrite of the next chapter. Have the main elements I want set up, but I just can't get it feeling right. Silly, light-hearted Imoen is just a pain in the posterior to write without making it look and sound very forced and artificial.

[Dark-Mage]

On my fourth rewrite of the next chapter. Have the main elements I want set up, but I just can't get it feeling right. Silly, light-hearted Imoen is just a pain in the posterior to write without making it look and sound very forced and artificial.

If you need any feedback on the chapter Tempest I dont mind giving it a once over for you. This has nothing with my desire to want to read it. Honest!

[Solstice]

Finally caught up on your most recent stuff, Tempest-it's all very good.

That most recent chapter, though, was just all over the place. The talking was good, and it got the crew moving, but it just felt like it was marking time until the next chapter. Speaking of which, I'm looking forward to seeing what you do with Candlekeep.

[Tempest]

If it felt like it was just marking time, that's because it was, to be honest. Starting with the next chapter, the plot is going to steamroller, so that was about the last fluffy filler chapter you'll see in ASE, Book One (though as with all things, that is subject to change).

[Shadowhawke]

Filler though it might have been, it was still very amusing and you kept enough of the political aspects within it to move it along. Can't wait for the actual Candlekeep chapter, Tempest.

[Tempest]

Yep-this one's taking longer than usual to write. There's so much stuff I *can* do, but I want to keep it clean and focused. Deciding what to put in and what to leave out is proving challenging.

[Dark-Mage]

Great chapter Tempest. Loved your description of Candlekeep and the Xan/Xzar mix up was amusing

[Solar's Harper]

Decent puns, and oh so loveable jokes. Loved the new chapter Tempest, and uh... sorry for not commenting on the others, still lovely work and look foward to seeing how the Candlekeep ordeal pans out (although so is already written, so sayeth ze wise Alfrog)

(ahem) Anyway, yeah - excellent chapter, can't wait 'til the next one.

[Tempest]

The next chapter is already being written, but I'll say now that this is some of the most difficult material I've ever written. Trying to get the balance between introspection, reaction at just what the letter said, and outside events is proving very difficult. But it's likely that I'm now only five or six chapters from the end of ASE. Plot twists, next two months.

[Shadowhawke]

And finally... it is revealed. Good chapter construction there, Tempest. I felt that you covered everything realistically and with a depth I wish we'd seen more of in the game. So good job, and know that I'm waiting impatiently for the next chapter.

[Tempest]

You may have to wait a bit longer-I'm taking my time with the next chapter, making certain I get it feeling right. Though I can safely say things won't transpire the way they did in the game-I'm taking a different approach to the whole mess. Chapter 35 may also be on the short side or the long side-I'm having trouble deciding where exactly to draw the line.

[Solstice]

Any word on the next chapter?