184 replies to this topic

[Mikka]

o.O

I'm not that fond of Elminister, even after reading his books. I don't like 'perfect' seeming characters. But I do respect him and all he's done for 'The Realms'. He can do a LOT. He's powerful. Seriously powerful. And like it or not, Mystra (Midnight) has come to his aid, and likes him. And the other Chosen of Mystra stand behind him. Also remember that he has no fondness what-so-ever for Red Wizards of Thay, and although his power is beyond anything, he's not going to be relaxed and friendly and expecting nothing.

Additional Powers He Also Has (that matter- I don't think anyone cares about his ability to detect water and knowing if it's foul, or how he can cure lycompathy with a bite (*shudder*), and so on)
++ His Silver Fire -- he can only use it every seven turns, however, he can hold it for as many turns as he has levels (that's a lot of turns, and more then seven- so he could pretty much hold it for as long as he wants). Also, if he wants to, the Silver Fire can instantly banish 'Dead Magic' areas in the Realms. If he's annoyed, or thinks your going to harm him, he wouldn't have anything against using it in annoyance. And that would be a lot of damage each round.
++ Psionics -- his skills are higher then a mind flayer/ithid. I doubt you want to try to incorperate Psionics in to the game, but if you did, he would pretty much have... oh, I don't know. I'll give Psychic Warrior examples due to the fact that I don't know Elly-sama's specialization (psychic warrior high level powers are less powerful then 'normal' psychic high level powers). Err- Breath of the Dragon- fire breathing for 11d4 damage (course, his silver fire is more powerful and has no save...), Ethereal Jaunt (becoming etheral for as many rounds as he has levels), Ectoplasmic Armor (+10 AC... or I guess it's -10 in this game), Improved Vigor (13 extra hitpoints- he could use the ability 43 times (for realism, we'll say 20, which would give him an extra 260 hitpoints, which is a damn lot of extra hitpoints in BG), and- oh, bah, enough.
++ SPELLS IMMUNE TO -- magic missile (eep), ESP (not in the game), fireball, Evard's black tentacles (not in the game), feeblemind, death spell, finger of death, power word blind, and imprisonment.
++ Immunity to any sort of natural or magical fear, despair, hopelessness, discord, and so on.
++ Full damage from any spell he wishes once a day.
++ Tymora's blessing- since you can't re-roll in BG, and because he also has the blessing of Liira, I would enable it as a permanent effect lucky spell (these last three abilities are because of the blessing of the harper gods, btw. He also can't be lost or disorented in a forest, and other nonsense). (As I'm looking for more information on Elli-sama- I think Arkenor said pretty much everything, but hey, I ran across this page that kept confusing Eliminster with Drizzt. Sad.)


....okay, I think that's pretty much it, and besides, I just found a Planescape website. Yay!

But I really don't think that this idea of yours would work out. Elly-sama is MEANT to humble PC's. Even if you are the child of a god, it's a dead god- while he's the chosen of one god, and has the blessings of another nine (and they're blessings are damn lot better then any bhaal powers. I think the PC was gipped). I read your stories a long time ago (and liked them- I used to be quite in to tarot cards), and I don't remember the exact circumstances of the cow falling on Elly-sama's head, but it's likely not really following the rules of summoning. To summon an animal that close to Elly-sama, he would easily have to be standing and concintraiting and muttering the words and such, and able to see where he was going to put the summoned cow. I think Elly-sama's been around long enough to learn that if someone's looking at the area above your head and muttering words that you use to summon creatures, it would be time to walk away slowly. And a spell takes a round to cast. Walking doesn't. ;P

I don't know. I suppose I'll wait and see what you come up with, but I'm unsure on how your going to do this. Elly is smarter and more 'wismatic' then Edwin naturally, and he probably has magic items upping his stats on him. He's also lived for a heck of a lot longer, and has faced much more talented schemers then Edwin. No one of his and the PC's ability would be playing a prank against him unless he wanted them to, and that seems unlikely.

After all...
'Well, now that ye've gotten THAT out of thy guts, can we be introduced, perhaps? I've met thy SWORD already... '




...Edwin's my fourth favorite NPC (okay, that doesn't sound that good ^^), but I really do like him. It might not sound that way from this post, but I adore him all the same. I'll be interested to see how this turns out. How are you coming along with it, anyway?

[Star Dragonmaiden]

For me, it was a close tie between dropping things on Elminister and having Korgan flatten him with Crom. Atomic wedgie sounds promising as well.

Suggestions for objects to drop on Elminister:
1) church bell (those can weigh a ton)
2)Troll dung (tasteless, I know, but funny to imagine )

Give me time and I'll come up with more .

[Laufey]

is true that in the game if you try to kill Elminster (and success) the game freezes? is there any way to correct that one? what is the easiest way to kill that pointy hat lover? timestop-shapechange mindflayer???

I don't know, I haven't actually tried to humble him within the game. Tempting as it is to try...

[Laufey]

...Edwin's my fourth favorite NPC (okay, that doesn't sound that good ^^), but I really do like him. It might not sound that way from this post, but I adore him all the same. I'll be interested to see how this turns out. How are you coming along with it, anyway?

*grin* Wow, long post! No offence taken, hey, people are allowed to have different opinions about these things. As for Cow Kill, I doubt it exists within 'proper' Faerun, so can't be expected to follow normal rules. And also, the stuff happening to El-Monster in the mod epilogues won't mention all El' freaky immunities (if they did, the epilogues would be longer than the game itself.) At least some suspension of disbelief will be necessary, but I think that's OK, especially since many of the players won't know all the Realms background details anyway. Might bother some of the more knowledgable ones - but hey, you'll risk that sort of thing in writing, no matter what you write.

As for what I plan for the Old Bastard storywise - that's a different thing, and there I *do* think I'll get around all the important freaky powers. (He can cure lycanthropy with a *bit*, how munchkin can you get?)

[Laufey]

For me, it was a close tie between dropping things on Elminister and having Korgan flatten him with Crom. Atomic wedgie sounds promising as well.

Suggestions for objects to drop on Elminister:
1) church bell (those can weigh a ton)
2)Troll dung (tasteless, I know, but funny to imagine )

Give me time and I'll come up with more .

I like them all, but handcuffing him to Aerie seems the most painful one.

[Userunfriendly]

For me, it was a close tie between dropping things on Elminister and having Korgan flatten him with Crom. Atomic wedgie sounds promising as well. 

Suggestions for objects to drop on Elminister:
1) church bell (those can weigh a ton)
2)Troll dung (tasteless, I know, but funny to imagine )

Give me time and I'll come up with more .

I like them all, but handcuffing him to Aerie seems the most painful one.

how about...polymorph into neeber then being handcuffed to aerie???

pointy hat: heya, my name is elminster, are you a girl?

aerie: oh my wings have been clipped...are you listening to me while i sing my despair of the wretched life on the ground?

goat beard: heya, you're awefully pretty, do you want to become a chosen of mystaria? (ewwww.......BBBAAARRRRFFFF!!!!)

aerie: look, you dirty old man, you are suppose to be kind to me, cant you tell i am the real heroine of this game, i am the incredibly pretty and innocent and gentle and utterly beautiful virginal maiden who is suppose to be charmed and swept off my feet by the shining paladin in mirror bright armor, not handcuffed to you, this disgusting dirty old man who smells like rancid limberger cheese....and because i am virginal and beautiful, every male who talks to me are suppose to nod and make pity noises and even sacrifice their lives so i dont break my nails if i am attacked by a monster...

stinky old fart: heya, did you know when you hold your nose up that high, i can see up your nose???

aerie: ewwwww....woe is me, am i cursed to spend the rest of my miserable existance on the ground attached to this...this...thing, that will undoubtedly make my future knight and husband and father of my children run screaming for the hills, because they will think this piece of trash is their future father in law??? not only have my wings been clipped, but now i am weighed down by this ball and chain, a ball that smells like an open sewer???




star, you forgot the old standby...

dragon dung!!!!!!!!!

not only is it stinky, but it has a good chance of drowning him...in huge steaming piles bigger than haystacks....

[Laufey]

how about...polymorph into neeber then being handcuffed to aerie???

pointy hat: heya, my name is elminster, are you a girl?

aerie: oh my wings have been clipped...are you listening to me while i sing my despair of the wretched life on the ground?

goat beard: heya, you're awefully pretty, do you want to become a chosen of mystaria? (ewwww.......BBBAAARRRRFFFF!!!!)

aerie: look, you dirty old man, you are suppose to be kind to me, cant you tell i am the real heroine of this game, i am the incredibly pretty and innocent and gentle and utterly beautiful virginal maiden who is suppose to be charmed and swept off my feet by the shining paladin in mirror bright armor, not handcuffed to you, this disgusting dirty old man who smells like rancid limberger cheese....and because i am virginal and beautiful, every male who talks to me are suppose to nod and make pity noises and even sacrifice their lives so i dont break my nails if i am attacked by a monster...

stinky old fart: heya, did you know when you hold your nose up that high, i can see up your nose???

aerie: ewwwww....woe is me, am i cursed to spend the rest of my miserable existance on the ground attached to this...this...thing, that will undoubtedly make my future knight and husband and father of my children run screaming for the hills, because they will think this piece of trash is their future father in law??? not only have my wings been clipped, but now i am weighed down by this ball and chain, a ball that smells like an open sewer???




star, you forgot the old standby...

dragon dung!!!!!!!!!

not only is it stinky, but it has a good chance of drowning him...in huge steaming piles bigger than haystacks....

Oh, excellent! That one will torture them *both*!

[Userunfriendly]

somehow. i just knew you would like that one...

just wait for my next hello cthulhu...

i am going to steal an idea i saw on the gamebanshee forum many months ago for the most inventive way to "dispose" of aerie...hehhehehhe...

and i think something nasty should happen to gaylen bayle....cooooo....doesnt that drive you buggy????

[Laufey]

somehow. i just knew you would like that one...

just wait for my next hello cthulhu...

i am going to steal an idea i saw on the gamebanshee forum many months ago for the most inventive way to "dispose" of aerie...hehhehehhe...

and i think something nasty should happen to gaylen bayle....cooooo....doesnt that drive you buggy????

I'll be anxiously looking forward to it! Of course I'll be going away tomorrow and be away a few days, so I hope I won't miss it. And yes, Gaelan's voice is almost as annoying as Aerie's...

[Star Dragonmaiden]

star, you forgot the old standby...

dragon dung!!!!!!!!!

not only is it stinky, but it has a good chance of drowning him...in huge steaming piles bigger than haystacks....

Dang, I thought I forgot something .

3) Pit Fiend (that could get ugly)
4) Godzilla (couldn't resist putting this one)


Handcuffed to Aerie DOES sound painful . With polymorph to Neeber, it gets better!

[Userunfriendly]

star, you forgot the old standby...

dragon dung!!!!!!!!!

not only is it stinky, but it has a good chance of drowning him...in huge steaming piles bigger than haystacks....    

Dang, I thought I forgot something .

3) Pit Fiend (that could get ugly)
4) Godzilla (couldn't resist putting this one)


Handcuffed to Aerie DOES sound painful . With polymorph to Neeber, it gets better!

pit fiend...did you know most problems in bg2 can be solved by the pit fiend spell???

neeber???
pit fiend...

chickens in umar hills???
pit fiend...

salvanias in copper coronet???
pit fiend...

hmmm...GODZILLA VS ELMINSTER

Splat!!! squish...

godzilla: ewwww...i got elminster toe jam!!!

[Laufey]

hmmm...GODZILLA VS ELMINSTER

Splat!!! squish...

godzilla: ewwww...i got elminster toe jam!!!

Oh, here's another good one! It's not the solution to El Munchkin's teleporting trick that I have in mind, but entertaining all the same.

1. Encounter Elminster in Saradush, while siege is going on

2. Get him unconscious. Method unimportant.

3. Smirk triumphantly as teleport spell activates, ripping him to pieces against the wards set up around the city.

[Userunfriendly]

good one!!!

how about this...

toss him into a room full of mindflayers in the underdark, and watch them starve to death...

a cheap shot, but hey, this thread is all about taking cheap shots...hehhehehhe

[Laufey]

good one!!!

how about this...

toss him into a room full of mindflayers in the underdark, and watch them starve to death...

a cheap shot, but hey, this thread is all about taking cheap shots...hehhehehhe

*evil grin* Who care if she shots are cheap - as long as they hit? Poor Mindflayers though...

[Userunfriendly]

the incredible elminster cntrl-q post!!!!

pointy hat goat beard shows up...

el: hello there, my child (that is so annoying...)

pc: I invoke the game gods!!! i recite the master spell of all master spells, control-q!!!!

BOOM!!!

el: what in mystaria's name....i am pleased to be in your party....gggrrr....hey, i had this hot groupie i was going to show what a wizard keeps under his hat...ggrrrr....i had plans for tonite!!!

pc: shut yer lip, you old goat, now get back into party formation...

imoen: ewww...does he hafta walk next to me?? he smells worse than korgan...or jan, or even valgal's hair....gross out...

pc: i promise you a triple fudge death by chocholate and french vanilla sunday when we get back to athlanka....

imoen: goody goody!!!!!!!!!! can i have pink sherbert ices to drink too???

goat haired one: ummm..that sounds good...may i have one too, my child???

pc: if it will keep your yap shut for a while...and i am NOT your frikking child!!!

after the party gets back to athlanka...

after a confectionary orgy of obscene propotions...

jan: ummmm!!!!! turnip ice cream with turnip hollendaise sause..so yummy, and so good...

imoen, while trying to clean up her chocholate covered face from the public fountain, motions jan over, and they hold a whispered huddle...

korgy: ya know, charname, i've smelled goblins in rut, dragon farts and kuan toa fish sauce, the fermented kind, and i've never ever quite smelled anything worse than our new party member...he could make a stone golem gag...and his conversation is so so so boring, its always elminster this, elminster that...he is more self absorbed than the little avariel chikkie...and thats saying a LOT!!!!!

pc: well, just hang in there for a while, my blood thirsty friend...(psst...i think jan and immy have something nasty and funny planned for him)

imoen: well, elminster, how do you like the party so far???(gives him a hearty slap on the back...) ooo...cooties...yuk!!!!

el: well, my child, i must admit charname has a very interesting way of leading, she just wanders around, looking dazed and confused...now if i was the party leader, we would.....(immy falls asleep on her feet...gets a shake by jan to wake up...)

as the party leaves the mithrest inn, some small halfling boys in the balcony above....they drop their pants and pee on elminster...

el: what the $%$%#@@!&&^^#@#@!!!!!!!!! you little brats!!!!!!! I'll turn you into frogs!!!!!!

pc: elminster!!! is that what a harper does??? pick on small boys???!!!

as the party dash out of range, pointed hat freak is continually pee'd on by every small boy they encounter...

immy: wow..you smell better now...

meanwhile, korgy and pc admire jan's handiwork...as immy slapped the dirty old man on the back, they pasted on his back a sign...

"Please, oh please, i am a treent in disguise, and i am dying of thirst, please pee on me or i will die....help me!!!"

[Laufey]

the incredible elminster cntrl-q post!!!!

pointy hat goat beard shows up...

el: hello there, my child (that is so annoying...)

pc: I invoke the game gods!!! i recite the master spell of all master spells, control-q!!!!

BOOM!!!

Ahhhh! Just the thing I needed before going on my trip tomorrow. Should give me nice dreams tonight too.

[Caedwyr]

I've read both the In the Cards and all of the Cards Reshuffled to date and enjoyed them immensely. However, the one area I didn't enjoy them as much was in the treatment of canon characters (Artemis Enteri, Drizzt, Elminster). The characters in the story act nothing like they do in their own books, and are made out to be complete buffoons. While the out of character actions are slightly annoying to me, I'm able to ignore them, and take them at face value for the story. However, if you are writing a mod for a FR game, the story isn't completely your own anymore and the canon characters should act in character.

Anyways, those are my thoughts on the use of canon FR characters in the game. Even if you choose to continue treating the canon FR characters the same as in your stories, I'll still enjoy the mod; it'll just seem a bit silly at times. Keep up the great work with the mod

[Laufey]

I've read both the In the Cards and all of the Cards Reshuffled to date and enjoyed them immensely. However, the one area I didn't enjoy them as much was in the treatment of canon characters (Artemis Enteri, Drizzt, Elminster). The characters in the story act nothing like they do in their own books, and are made out to be complete buffoons. While the out of character actions are slightly annoying to me, I'm able to ignore them, and take them at face value for the story. However, if you are writing a mod for a FR game, the story isn't completely your own anymore and the canon characters should act in character.

Anyways, those are my thoughts on the use of canon FR characters in the game. Even if you choose to continue treating the canon FR characters the same as in your stories, I'll still enjoy the mod; it'll just seem a bit silly at times. Keep up the great work with the mod

Some people do object to that, and I respect their opinions as long as they're politely expressed (as you did.)

Remember though, that although A.E. never appears in the games, both Drizzt and Elminster *do* act like complete jerks in the games (at least in my opinion). (As does AE in my opinion, at least based on the sourcebook description I've read of him, but that's a whole other topic.)

Of those people Elminster's the only one who in any way is mentioned in the mod, and that's only in the epilogues. If the way I treat him offends somebody, then I'm sorry for their sake, but I never expected to please every possible downloader anyway.

[Caedwyr]

When you refer to Elminster acting like a jerk in the game, are you refering to his refusal to get further involved? If so, then you should recall Cyric's comments about the the other gods not being allowed to get involved in the Bhaalspawn mess. Elminster being a Chosen of Mystra, would probably fall under the prohibition. I've only read the first couple of Elminster books (in the FR chronology), so I don't know how he acts later on in the timeline, and as such I can't really say if the Bioware incarnation of him is in, or out of character. I have read all the Drizzt books, and the Bioware version of him seems to be a very cardboardish stereotype, with only a passing resemblance to the Drizzt of the books. Its because of the poor handling of these cameo characters, that I don't really begrudge you making fun of them, and messing around with them further.

[Laufey]

When you refer to Elminster acting like a jerk in the game, are you refering to his refusal to get further involved? If so, then you should recall Cyric's comments about the the other gods not being allowed to get involved in the Bhaalspawn mess. Elminster being a Chosen of Mystra, would probably fall under the prohibition. I've only read the first couple of Elminster books (in the FR chronology), so I don't know how he acts later on in the timeline, and as such I can't really say if the Bioware incarnation of him is in, or out of character. I have read all the Drizzt books, and the Bioware version of him seems to be a very cardboardish stereotype, with only a passing resemblance to the Drizzt of the books. Its because of the poor handling of these cameo characters, that I don't really begrudge you making fun of them, and messing around with them further.

Partially that...partially the way he treats Jaheira, basically jerking her around on a string and playing with her emotions so he can 'test' her morals or something similar. And of course, more than anything, Edwin's original epilogue, which has had me wincing everytime I read it. I don't really care if Edwin attacked Elminster first - to not only turn him into Edwina but to take his magic away as well, effectively leaving him to lead a life in pure and unadulterated misery, that's something I'm not about to forgive Elminster for.

Ahem...rant over. I'm about to leave home in about half an hour, and will be gone for a couple of days, so I'm afraid I can't elaborate further. Also, it goes without saying that these are my own, subjective opinions. Other people are entitled to interpret game (or book) events otherwise, that's up to them. I'd really rather not get involved in a debate on what any Realms character is 'really' like, they never really lead anywhere and only tend to make people upset.