91 replies to this topic

[Shadowhawke]

Some times simplicity gets the job done in a better way, as in this, Jaheira's action for an answer - and an ending for the post.

I'm glad you thought the deviation to simplicity worked here, then.

No! It didn't! On the contrary, i was pleased with the way it unfolded. If i was put under the gun, i might say that the handling of the effect of the wounds in various members might have been in need of some more work, but it is COMPLETELY, subjectively, only my opinion. About the dice stuff, i asked because i have it in mind for my story, in fact i used it in my first battle (in the 3rd chapter) and i enjoyed playing it. I await the time you people will read it and your opinion if i handled it right, or not. After all, as i said, writing is an alternative to live playing for me, and it was a chance to put some "live" action in my hobby. So, i was just wandering if you thought the same way.

Heh, wounds do tend to be a weakness of mine, now that I think about it... I'll try to keep that in mind for next time. The dice playing is actually an interesting way of sorting out the battle... I thought it handled well when I read it, with a good touch of realism, so you've definitely got something going for you with the dice-playing there besides pure fun too .

Hey! Do you think so low of your work, that merely the existence of a review is desirable? Your fic is worthy on its own, no reviewers attached!

I'm glad you feel that way! I just wanted to thank you for reviewing, though, because I know it's a little extra something that just makes my own day a little extra brighter.

[Shadowhawke]

Blimey, that was an amazing chapter SH. Everything from the description of the pool of blood to Cormin's plunge into it. Loved your Bodhi a swell, sensual yet creepy just like she should be And I'm guessing Cormin smacked her one with the Mace of Disruption?

I'm really happy you enjoyed that one... I really enjoyed writing it, even though I wasn't quite sure whether the lead up to the pool of blood part was believable or not. Opinions?

And yes, I did always think of Bodhi like that. Probably because of my BtVS corruption . And yes, Cormin smacked her a good one with the Mace of Disruption. You've gotta love how the vamps always keep anti-undead weapons in their own lair

Keep up the good work

I will, thanks! You'd better keep up the work on your own fic too, I'd love to see some more of it too.

Good job is too mild a word for this new post.

It's great to know you liked it .

Only one question arose in my mind. How come nobody noticed the mace Cormin had in his possesion after the bloodbath? A mace is a medium sized weapon, one that is difficult to hide in one's person. Or, perhaps you could have indicated Cormin consciously hiding it somehow, as it should require special effort. He couldn't have carried it without saying anything, without hiding it (you didn't indicate that he did), and nobody notice it.

Hmm, that's a good point. See, in my mind, the blood would have acted as a camouflage. After all, Cormin is dripping blood, and since the weapon is dripping blood and is being held in his hand, the scene kind of went through my mind as everyone being so shocked about what had happened that they didn't notice one more blood-covered object. But you've got a very good point there... I'll go back and see what I can do with it!

Edit: Hmm, is this better?

It was enough for him to stagger out, hands still clasped around the bloody object he had brought from the pool and cradling it to his chest, and then collapse on the ground when his legs couldn?t take him any further.

Thanks to both of you again!

Edited by Shadowhawke, 19 February 2008 - 10:12 PM.

[Kaeloree]

Heh, *blush*. Thanks for the kind words, Kae! I really have to congratulate you on your dedication too... last time I checked, the prologue through to chapter 26 was over 60,000 words.

No problem at all - and I'm a rather quick reader

I'm glad you like the way I've done this, and Danika as well. And you don't know how great it is to be told about the humour part... *coughs* I've always been pretty bad at that aspect, so it's nice to know that there's someone chuckling quietly along with me.

Heh - well, I definitely am. And I'm sure quite a few others are, as well.

To be honest, this fic was originally meant to veer into darker territory, but I think I might save that for the eventual sequel instead.

Should we be scared?

Just read the latest chapter, and I have to concur with Dark-Mage; you captured Bodhi really well, and I loved the Mace of Disruption, too. My own personal explanation for that was the vampires sought to hide it so none could find or use it - and what better than a place so abhorrent most living people wouldn't go near it?

I can't wait to read the next few chapters - it's very exciting to see this coming to a conclusion

[quinlan]

Hmm, that's a good point. See, in my mind, the blood would have acted as a camouflage. After all, Cormin is dripping blood, and since the weapon is dripping blood and is being held in his hand, the scene kind of went through my mind as everyone being so shocked about what had happened that they didn't notice one more blood-covered object. But you've got a very good point there... I'll go back and see what I can do with it!

Edit: Hmm, is this better?

It was enough for him to stagger out, hands still clasped around the bloody object he had brought from the pool and cradling it to his chest, and then collapse on the ground when his legs couldn't take him any further.

All right, i hope you won't get frustrated by persisting pestering.
I find your edit correct. However, there is the issue of the rest of the party taking notice of it, or not. I am still undecided, because of your explanation which could explain the lack of perception. But then i think of the scene later on, when Danika starts cleaning him from the blood. Couldn't she have taken notice then? Then again i think of the almost love scene, and i think that maybe other things ( ) where passing through her mind at the time, something proved by the fact that Bodhi managed to sneak up to them and 100% surprise them.

[Shadowhawke]

No problem at all - and I'm a rather quick reader

You are at that, and I'm impressed . Last I checked, now that I've refreshed my memory, it's more like 80,000 words...

I'm glad you like the way I've done this, and Danika as well. And you don't know how great it is to be told about the humour part... *coughs* I've always been pretty bad at that aspect, so it's nice to know that there's someone chuckling quietly along with me.

Heh - well, I definitely am. And I'm sure quite a few others are, as well.

Nice to hear .

To be honest, this fic was originally meant to veer into darker territory, but I think I might save that for the eventual sequel instead.

Should we be scared?

Probably not at this time. Perhaps later.

Just read the latest chapter, and I have to concur with Dark-Mage; you captured Bodhi really well, and I loved the Mace of Disruption, too. My own personal explanation for that was the vampires sought to hide it so none could find or use it - and what better than a place so abhorrent most living people wouldn't go near it?

I can't wait to read the next few chapters - it's very exciting to see this coming to a conclusion

*nods* That's true. I did also always think that was a strange part of the game... I mean, would anyone in a good-aligned party really be prepared to step into a pool of blood when you didn't know anything was in there? But your reasoning about the vampires keeping it there was sound.

I'm really glad you're still enjoying this. The next chapter should be up very, very soon.

All right, i hope you won't get frustrated by persisting pestering.
I find your edit correct. However, there is the issue of the rest of the party taking notice of it, or not. I am still undecided, because of your explanation which could explain the lack of perception. But then i think of the scene later on, when Danika starts cleaning him from the blood. Couldn't she have taken notice then? Then again i think of the almost love scene, and i think that maybe other things ( ) where passing through her mind at the time, something proved by the fact that Bodhi managed to sneak up to them and 100% surprise them.

I can see your point, but I guess this is the part where I ask you to spare me a little artistic license and yes, pretend that Danika was thinking of a few other things at the time . I'm glad you liked that, by the way . I really enjoyed writing it after all this time of planning...

Thanks again to both of you.

Edited by Shadowhawke, 25 February 2008 - 11:46 PM.

[Dark-Mage]

Nice to see the Night Knifes get what was coming to them

All in all, great chapter Shadowhawke. Can't wait for more

[quinlan]

Great new chapter, although when it ended, it left me wanting more! Especially this part:

He continued forwards, stepping to one side when he heard someone spit in the darkness. The droplets narrowly missed him, but he continued undeterred. Saliva was not the bodily fluid he was looking for tonight. Only one thing would satisfy him, and everyone here knew what that was.

...the bodily fluid... WOW! Hell-bent for leather!

One question:

a simple metallic sphere into view. Slowly, his lips moved. He spoke one word, and then felt it begin. Through the growing haze of white flame licking around him, he saw Bronislav?s eyes widen, and then tighten in fury and horror.

What was the item? Chain of lightning?

[Solstice]

I'm guessing it was that thing the gnome was asked to make-probably a unique little device. Shadow, only thing I didn't like was that this means you're getting close to the end. Another great chapter.

[Shadowhawke]

Nice to see the Night Knifes get what was coming to them

All in all, great chapter Shadowhawke. Can't wait for more

Heh, I'm glad you liked the justice of it as well, Darkmage . To tell the truth, it was kind of awful and bloody in my mind... but I guess that's what happens when you mess too much with murky lifestyles.

Great new chapter, although when it ended, it left me wanting more! Especially this part:

...the bodily fluid... WOW! Hell-bent for leather!

Heh, I kinda enjoyed writing that part too, actually... I hope I didn't overdo it .

One question:

a simple metallic sphere into view. Slowly, his lips moved. He spoke one word, and then felt it begin. Through the growing haze of white flame licking around him, he saw Bronislav?s eyes widen, and then tighten in fury and horror.

What was the item? Chain of lightning?

I'm guessing it was that thing the gnome was asked to make-probably a unique little device. Shadow, only thing I didn't like was that this means you're getting close to the end. Another great chapter.

Solstice is right. It was the thing that Haemish was asked to make, and I'll explain it more in the sequel when it comes along. And yes... I must admit that I'm a bit sad that this fic is ending as well, but thank you all so much for your reviews and for following this for so long. It really makes my day that you guys are enjoying reading the fic as much as I enjoy writing it, even if the last chapter was a little rushed.

Thanks again for the support to everyone, and the last chapter should be up soon.

Edited by Shadowhawke, 02 March 2008 - 03:44 AM.

[Dark-Mage]

Excellent chapter Shadowhawke

Like how you used Jaheira's past to fuel her distrust of Cormin, and that whole scene was heart breakinly lovely, poor Jaheira *hugs*

Looking forward to your next story.

[quinlan]

Excellent closure post.
I hope i will still be around when you continue your story.

[Solstice]

Can't believe it's over. Been a great tale, Shadow-good luck with whatever your next project is.