91 replies to this topic

[Celestine]

I'm starting to read fanfics again, Shadowhawke and I've read three chapters of Dancing with the night and its awesome. I like the prologue part, its a tease and arouse my curiousity and interest. So far I like Danika, she's a funny character and I enjoy the interactions between Jaheria and Danika. Keep writing. I'll catch up on the other chapters...

[DalreïDal]

Well, I wouldn't mind Yoshimo's "mousetrap" attitude, but I really, really can't take his treason. And I find it kind of cheap from the game developers that there just isn't anything you can do for him. He travels with you and all, and I admit his unashamed TN nature is funny, and having him forced to betray you under geas was alright. But I found it cheap that you have no other choice but to "kill or be killed". I mean, with the magical power of a full mage of the level when you get to Spellhold, or a cleric's direct intercession of his god, couldn't we at least "twist" the geas a bit or something? That's what I really disliked of the character, and it rather disgusted me of him all.

As for the new chapter, I really liked it I admit though that I didn't understand too well why Geraint was so unkind to Aerie. I had a feeling he was manoeuvering Nika into something, but I still haven't understood what? A little enlightenment here?

[Shadowhawke]

I'm starting to read fanfics again, Shadowhawke and I've read three chapters of Dancing with the night and its awesome. I like the prologue part, its a tease and arouse my curiousity and interest. So far I like Danika, she's a funny character and I enjoy the interactions between Jaheria and Danika. Keep writing. I'll catch up on the other chapters...

It's great you're starting to read fanfic again, Celestine . Thanks for commenting... I'm really happy that the Jaheira-Danika relationship seems to be a strong point of the fic . I always liked Jaheira as a character, so yeah. Glad you liked the prologue, considering it was originally meant to be the genesis of a new character in Starlight. . Thanks again for commenting, and I hope you enjoy the rest of this fanfic . (And give us a few more chapters soon of yours ).

[Shadowhawke]

Well, I wouldn't mind Yoshimo's "mousetrap" attitude, but I really, really can't take his treason. And I find it kind of cheap from the game developers that there just isn't anything you can do for him. He travels with you and all, and I admit his unashamed TN nature is funny, and having him forced to betray you under geas was alright. But I found it cheap that you have no other choice but to "kill or be killed". I mean, with the magical power of a full mage of the level when you get to Spellhold, or a cleric's direct intercession of his god, couldn't we at least "twist" the geas a bit or something? That's what I really disliked of the character, and it rather disgusted me of him all.

Ah, fair enough. Yes, I must admit that the fact that Yoshimo *has* to betray you and there's *no* way out of it at all made me quite angry at the game, because he seemed to be such a promising character. That's why usually I have to discreetly kick him out somewhere (usually a random house in the Docks) that I'll never enter again otherwise he'll die >.<;;. I thought that it was a real oversight of the game that you couldn't find some way to save him as well... I mean, they should have made something like in Chapter 6 where you resurrect your lover.

... Perhaps somebody could make a mod...

As for the new chapter, I really liked it I admit though that I didn't understand too well why Geraint was so unkind to Aerie. I had a feeling he was manoeuvering Nika into something, but I still haven't understood what? A little enlightenment here?

Ah, that's fair enough. The reason that Geraint is unkind to Aerie is because that's part of his character. He's really quite an unfeeling bastard on the surface, and because he hasn't really gotten time to get to know the group yet, he treats them all rather standoffishly. He's also quite old (not in elven years) and the way he's dealt with his life has led him to be rather cynical, which was why he was blunt to Aerie.

And yes, he also maneuvered Nika into agreeing with him, which was just a little battle of wits really. Hence the poker challenge .

I guess perhaps I haven't portrayed Geraint as 'unfeeling' enough previously to explain his bluntness towards Aerie. Do you have any suggestions on making anything clearer? Any hints would be helpful .

[DalreïDal]

(Sorry for the laaaaaaaaaaate reply) Oh no, your Geraint is unfeeling alright! It's just that I got the feeling he was not speaking for Aerie's sake and I was wondering why he would "care" to be unkind to her. Now that you've pointed out that all he wanted was a bit of Danika's agreement, I think everything's alright.

Your new chapter is still as good for characterization, but it's very short and it's been long in coming Your Geraint is very fascinating... I'm impatient to hear more of him...

[Shadowhawke]

(Sorry for the laaaaaaaaaaate reply) Oh no, your Geraint is unfeeling alright! It's just that I got the feeling he was not speaking for Aerie's sake and I was wondering why he would "care" to be unkind to her. Now that you've pointed out that all he wanted was a bit of Danika's agreement, I think everything's alright.

Heh heh... sorry, I didn't see this before >.<;;. Thanks so much for your review, DalreiDal . And yeah, he is damned insensitive . Should I make it a bit clearer in the story, perhaps, that he was only doing it to get a bit of a rise out of Danika?

Your new chapter is still as good for characterization, but it's very short and it's been long in coming Your Geraint is very fascinating... I'm impatient to hear more of him...

Heh, sorry >.<;;. My exam period (Year 11 ones, therefore not as important as the ones before) shall be well and truly over by next Wednesday, so I should have something up by then Thanks so much again for your review!

[DalreïDal]

Hello Shadowhawke

It's nice to see another chapter up I liked Anath's appearance, even if brief... and maybe Danika should have told Geraint that he was an insensitive jerk otherwise he would have understood Anath. I didn't find your chapter too confusing, except the very last bit at the end, and even then... Maybe clearer explanations will be given at the beginning of next chapter?


Just one last little thing: there's something strange with the format here?

She was dizzy, so dizzy[i] with the white of the bones seared into the back of her eyeballs.

What she would give for sight?

[i]Geraint?s eyes.

[Shadowhawke]

Hello Shadowhawke

It's nice to see another chapter up I liked Anath's appearance, even if brief... and maybe Danika should have told Geraint that he was an insensitive jerk otherwise he would have understood Anath. I didn't find your chapter too confusing, except the very last bit at the end, and even then... Maybe clearer explanations will be given at the beginning of next chapter?

Ah, sorry. I didn't think it was clear enough... yeah, I think I'll elaborate a bit more in the next chapter. Thanks . And yeah, I always thought it was a shame you couldn't save Anath... even if she was already grieving, it would have been nice to give us the option.

Just one last little thing: there's something strange with the format here?

She was dizzy, so dizzy[i] with the white of the bones seared into the back of her eyeballs.

What she would give for sight?

[i]Geraint?s eyes.

Ah, thanks... >.<;;. That was a formatting slip. Fixed now.

Thanks again for the review, DalreiDal. . I'm glad that something about this fic has kept you interested

[Celestine]

Awesome chapter, Shadowhawke. Now, cliffhanger, what's going to happen next?

[DalreïDal]

Well, I've been away for a while, haven't I? Just saw your new chapter... I really like it... your battle scene was very well done. Danika'll never know what it's like to turn into dust, will she?

[Shadowhawke]

Awesome chapter, Shadowhawke. Now, cliffhanger, what's going to happen next?

I'm glad you liked it . The battle scene wasn't overdone, I hope? >.<;;. That was the only thing that was bothering me... thanks for commenting, Celestine! The next chapter's going to be up really, really soon, I'm just filling it out now.

Well, I've been away for a while, haven't I? Just saw your new chapter... I really like it... your battle scene was very well done. Danika'll never know what it's like to turn into dust, will she?

Well... do you think that if the PC *ever* dies, as in, even after TOB, they'll turn to dust? I wonder, that would be quite interesting.
But yeah, I'm glad you both liked this chapter . Written in a flurry like most of my other ones have been, and I'm glad you liked the battle scene too. I'm also awfully sorry I haven't responded to your comments for a while, my internet ran out on me last week and it's taken us a while to get it back up and running. So thanks to the both of you.

[DalreïDal]

Well, Cormin gets more interesting by the second. No Holy Smite burn, is it? And vengeance for Danika... what a turn for a hunter of Bhaalspawn. I hope more keeps coming

[Shadowhawke]

Well, Cormin gets more interesting by the second. No Holy Smite burn, is it? And vengeance for Danika... what a turn for a hunter of Bhaalspawn. I hope more keeps coming

It will . Heh, I'm happy that you like Cormin still; he's definitely becoming one of my favourite characters to write, so yeah. Thanks for the review, DalreiDal.

[DalreïDal]

It was some sort of relief that Cormin gets more human... I think it's the first time he shows off one of his vulnerabilities. Danika was good too; you can't help but guess at your PC's weariness after so many battles...

I'll still be reading this and waiting for updates, even if they do come slowly

[Shadowhawke]

It was some sort of relief that Cormin gets more human... I think it's the first time he shows off one of his vulnerabilities. Danika was good too; you can't help but guess at your PC's weariness after so many battles...

I'll still be reading this and waiting for updates, even if they do come slowly

Heh. Thanks for sticking around and being so patient. . I guess this probably is the first time that Cormin seems to become less omnipotent... hopefully I'll be able to continue developing him and making him realistic. And yeah, I figured that if Danika had almost died in the last battle, she wouldn't really be too spry .

Thanks again for reading and reviewing, DalreiDal.

[Shadowhawke]

Just attempting to rescue this from oblivion. . I know it's been a while between chapters, but reviews still make me happy, and constructive criticism is even better.

[DalreïDal]

Your rescue worked, I think Very good new chapter, and I highly anticipate the resolution of Cormin's debt... It's good that you are more forthcoming on details/links to his past... we have to learn a few things about him every now and then to gradually understand him better. That seems to be some amount of revelation you're preparing for the next chapters. I'm impatient to know what he'll be asked to do of his three days of service.

And the middle part about Cormin wanting to tear apart anything that hurt Danika was excellent I hope to see more of this soon.

[Shadowhawke]

Whee, a review!!! . Thanks very much, my friend.

Your rescue worked, I think Very good new chapter, and I highly anticipate the resolution of Cormin's debt... It's good that you are more forthcoming on details/links to his past... we have to learn a few things about him every now and then to gradually understand him better. That seems to be some amount of revelation you're preparing for the next chapters. I'm impatient to know what he'll be asked to do of his three days of service.

Heh, I'm glad it worked, and I'm glad you liked the extra details of his past. I was beginning to realise that if I wanted to, I could still call Cormin 'the stranger' and it might just still apply, so hopefully the next few chapters will remedy that a bit.

And the middle part about Cormin wanting to tear apart anything that hurt Danika was excellent I hope to see more of this soon.

Truth be told, I was quite freaked out by the look on his face I imagined when I was writing that, so it's good that you thought it was excellent . More should be up soon, so hopefully I won't disappoint you.

Thanks again for reviewing, my friend!

[Usually Lurking]

Yea! two more chapters, and in quick succession. It's good to see regular updates to the story. I can't really offer any type of criticism because I am loving the story, each chapter really draws me in. I almost feel like I'm there experiencing everything with the characters. There are quite a few of these that I am now following, albeit silently, but this is the fanfic that started me reading them. Your story makes me wish I could experience the game in this way. Anyway, please keep writing and know that there are probably more like me out there that are quietly following your work.

If you should ever decide to turn Danika into an NPC mod I'd definitely install it.

[Shadowhawke]

Yea! two more chapters, and in quick succession. It's good to see regular updates to the story. I can't really offer any type of criticism because I am loving the story, each chapter really draws me in. I almost feel like I'm there experiencing everything with the characters. There are quite a few of these that I am now following, albeit silently, but this is the fanfic that started me reading them. Your story makes me wish I could experience the game in this way. Anyway, please keep writing and know that there are probably more like me out there that are quietly following your work.

Heh, thanks 'Usually Lurking' . I'm glad that you're enjoying this, and I'm even happier that it's gotten you reading more fanfic. And thanks for the reassurance. I must admit, I know that I must put off a lot of readers because of my infrequent updating, but it's good to know that there are people who are still following this and enjoying reading it as much as I enjoy writing it.

If you should ever decide to turn Danika into an NPC mod I'd definitely install it.

Heh, I'm afraid Danika would never make an NPC mod because so much of her character is incorporated into being the main Bhaalspawn thing. Still, it would be nice...

Thanks again for reviewing! .