3 replies to this topic

[Beyshaliban]

Welcome!

We try to live to the philosophy, if you can't say it nice and politely, don't say it at all.

Fortunately I succeeded in finishing NWN a while ago, though I haven't touched the Add-Ons yet. I heard it's possible for female players to safe Aribeth, though I must confess that I failed. I think I missed a talk or two in the preceeding chapters. Oh well...

Back to business.

I like your little piece. These thoughts crossed my mind as well while playing NWN. I would have loved the option to safe Fenthick. But he had it coming, blue-eyed that he was.

I always admire the ability to actually write fighting scenes.

Only two minor points that jumped on me

A shook my head and looked up at her forest green eyes.

Do you mean "I shook my head..." ?

My sword deflects off of her and I cursed at my mistake but I had no time to dwell on it.

"deflected"?


Again, welcome! I hope, we will read more from you in the future.

Bey

[Essande]

Thanks for the commentary Beyshaliban! Sorry about the mistakes, I don't know exactly what I was thinking when I hit the 'a' key instead of the 'i' when they're on opposites sides of the key board, but the second mistake is because about half-way through I started writing in present tense and I must have missed that when I was going through changing everything. I apologize for the inconvenience.

[Celestine]

first-person writing, I always thought those were the hardest to write so its a rather unusual piece. I thought the words exchanged between Anita and Aribeth via combat is a v smart idea.

[Shadowhawke]

Nice work, Essande :thumbsup: . You've done a great job, here. To add to Beyshaliban's constructive criticism, you might have a few flow problems, especially with the change of tenses, but on the whole, you've done very well. . Nice work, and I'm sure I'm not the only one who hopes to see you around more often.

Edit: Sorry if I seem picky! Really, I enjoyed it very much!

Edited by Shadowhawke, 04 December 2004 - 03:05 AM.