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[thinkinc]

The Bane of Fate

                                               by H. Chase

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"The seed that was planted long ago now bursts forth, but the weeds and growths that are the tangled vines of evil do not seek the light, but the dark potential of all souls."  

-  Dyskmyrc the Corruptor, Architect of the Planes vs. 21:4


Part I


Kelsey felt the warmth of the sun as it crept through the window like a cat, slowly edging its way across the floor until it settled over the bed.  The heady smell of wild jasmine from the bushes outside tickled his nose, threatening to make him sneeze.  He fought it until the urge passed.

Damn it all.  He refused to open his eyes to acknowledge the morning.  I?m not awake. It isn?t time to get up.  Not yet.  That would mean that soon Cas?ira would rouse with a groan and begin talking about the day?s demands, and this peace would be gone.  

But eventually, his childish defiance gave way to the desire to see her.  It was so rare that he could watch her sleep anymore.  When he did open his eyes, gently blinking against the gilded morning light, he smiled.  She was curled up happily cradling a pillow.  Her soft snores somehow made her more feminine and vulnerable.  The light fell tenderly over her exposed curves, and the bruises that mottled her body were more apparent now than they had been last night.

This had been the first night in many they spent in a decent inn.  Cas always insisted on the best rooms available, and as he watched her sleep, peacefully tangled in the clean, soft sheets, he was grateful for her standards.  She deserved some kind of luxury after so many days and miles of battle and carnage.  It was more than a woman ought to bear.

He tried to roll over gently, wincing when the bed creaked beneath his weight.  He held his breath, waiting to see if she would stir, but her breathing remained steady.  Carefully, he slipped from beneath the sheet and crept out of bed.  The thick carpet was soft beneath his feet, and he wiggled his toes indulgently through the fibers.  

His robe was still slung haphazardly over the chair where he?d tossed it last night.  She?d been especially randy, and he was grateful for it, but the effort had exhausted him so that he?d neglected his nighttime ritual of tidying up.  Cas?ira frequently chided him for his fastidiousness, but it gave him comfort to go through the motions of setting things right.

?I can tell you?re nervous,? she had said to him out-of-the-blue on the road to Trademeet.  When he?d tried to deny it, she merely laughed and pointed out that he?d alphabetized his spell reagents, twice.  

He smiled at the memory as he lifted his robe and gave it a gentle shake.  It wasn?t too badly wrinkled, though it still smelled of dirt and sweat and blood.  He thought it unlikely that the inn would have the facilities for cleaning magical clothing.  He would probably have to take it to a specialist.

Slipping his arms into the sleeves, he shrugged on the finely crafted garment and felt the weight of it across his shoulders.  The magical infusions seeped into him, bringing him to a somewhat more coherent state. It would have to serve as it was for the time being.

Soulafein would already be awake, probably downstairs picking half-heartedly at what he called ?surfacer fare?, and scribbling notes in his poetry journal.  For some reason, it annoyed Kelsey that he took such an interest in ?kivvil? verse, though he?d never considered himself a racist.  In truth, it was because Cas?ira enjoyed it so much when Sola recited it for her, but he?d never admit that, even to himself.

Nonetheless, as he looked back at Cas?ira slumbering so serenely, he thought it would perhaps be best if he joined the drow for breakfast and left her to sleep.  After quietly drawing the curtains to keep the encroaching sunlight from her eyes, he silently slipped out of the room and started down the hallway.

?Morning Kelsey!? called Haer?dalis in his irrepressibly cheerful bardic lilt.  Kelsey flinched.

?Shhh!? he gestured desperately.  ?Cas?ira is still asleep.?

?Ohh,? Haer?dalis cringed dramatically and made a show of tiptoeing across the floor to join Kelsey.  He smelled too heavily of some kind of exotic spice oil.  ?The raven still nests, yes?  Well, that?s good for us.  Soon enough she?ll be ready to thrust us back into the fray, and it is far too glorious a day for that.  I feel a muse of fire for a song??

?I?m glad to hear it,? Kelsey whispered demonstratively, hoping Haer?dalis would take the cue and lower his voice.  ?Let?s head downstairs to talk, then.?

?Right, right,? he nodded vigorously and nearly skipped down the stairs, taking them two at a time, laughing at nothing and everything.  ?I wonder if there?s any pastry left!?

Kelsey sighed and shook his head, following down the steps to the inn?s spacious, amply appointed common room.  A few patrons sat talking and enjoying their breakfast, but it was largely empty at this hour.  The smell of baked goods reassuringly filled his senses, inspiring him with hunger and memories.  He thought briefly of his mother, who was never fond of cooking herself, but employed a chef with a gift for baking.  What was her name?  Hilriga?  Halegis?

He was still struggling to remember as he approached the table where Solaufein was, as he?d expected, hunched over his journal deep in thought.  His poached egg lay untouched and hardening on a wooden plate.  

?Good morning, Sola,? Kelsey ventured, half expecting the drow to continue to ignore him.  But, to his surprise and slight disappointment, Solaufein slowly drew his head up to look at Kelsey squarely.  His face, as usual, was a blank mask.

?Kelsey,? he nodded.  Then, as if he were practicing for some kind of performance, he slid his plate forward and gestured at the stale egg.  ?You are welcome to my meal.?

?Uh,? Kelsey groped for some manner of appropriate response, for he sensed that this was Solaufein?s attempt at civility.  ?No, thank you.  I, uh?don?t like poached eggs.?

?Very well,? Sola slid his plate back, but made no move to eat.  Without further attempt at conversation, he returned to his studying.  He was a strange, disquieting creature, Kelsey thought as he took a seat across the table from him.

Haer?dalis was chatting up the inn?s chef ? a young, appealingly plump woman who expressed her pleasure at his company by continuing to pile a medley of pastries onto his already full plate.  There was no way the willowy tiefling could eat all of it, but that didn?t seem to matter to either of them.  Kelsey guessed that a few days from now, Haer would produce one while they trudged through some forsaken wilderness and make a great production out of his resourcefulness.

But what he longed for was not pastry or bard tunes or tense, forced banter with his group.  More than anything he wished for all this adventuring to stop.  The days were protracted, and seemed to run into each other such that he had to consciously pause do the figures in his head when someone asked him how long he?d been on the road.  Cas?ira did not seem to care so much for keeping track, but then, she had nothing left behind her.  Kelsey, on the other hand, had abandoned much in the searching of his soul.

Now he felt that the search was drawing to a close, and yet closure was not forthcoming so long as he remained away from his home and his estranged family.  He felt guilty for wanting to leave the group, for Cas?ira had always supported him, both in battle and during the many times he?d rambled to her about his thoughts.  But the longer they traveled together, the more certain he felt that she was going to abandon him for her destiny, nonetheless.

It wasn?t anything that she said, merely the way her face set when she came upon some new revelation about her origins and providence.  The way she seemed to seclude within some inner private space as she mulled things over.  The way she measured her words so carefully when he asked her of her future with him.  Always diplomatic and sensitive, but rarely did they seem heartfelt.  The fire in her eyes seemed reserved for her internal battles, leaving Kelsey with only secondhand warmth.

?What?ll ya have, sir?? the serving wench?s voice was high and sweet, like the dulcet tinkling of a wind chime.  He hadn?t noticed her before, but now that he did, he smiled.  She was pretty in the way that Cas?ira wasn?t.  Innocent and rounded, like a blonde-haired cherub.  Her greatest aspiration was probably to marry a decent fellow and have a passel of children.  Not a bad ambition, in Kelsey?s judgment.

?Hmm?? he hadn?t given a thought to what he wanted to eat.  ?Whatever you think is good. You look like a woman of excellent taste,? Kelsey shot her a flirtatious, cheeky grin, and she regarded it skeptically.

?Uh huh,? she shrugged impassively and turned to fetch whatever she thought up for him, and he felt an immediate pang of humiliation and guilt for his idle trifling.  She doubtless thought he was just another boorish tourist, hoping for a chance to paw at her.

?Do you find her attractive?? Solaufein asked.  Kelsey was visibly startled and flushed with embarrassment that anyone had noticed.  It was hard to tell when Solaufein was paying attention.

?Not especially,? he muttered.  ?I?m just being friendly.?

?I see,? Solaufein nodded thoughtfully, his eyes moving deliberately from the girl to Kelsey, betraying no judgment.  But Kelsey was sure something was brewing in his pensive observation.

?Among humans,? Kelsey explained patronizingly, ?It is considered polite to give compliments when someone serves you.?

?Is it?? Sola arched an eyebrow.  ?She did not seem to respond favorably.?

?Not everyone does,? Kelsey added thinly.

?But, when one is in the service trade,? he pressed, ?Wouldn?t it be considered rude not to return a compliment favorably??

?I suppose,? Kelsey shifted and fingered the cuff of his robe.

?Then by that reasoning,? Sola continued with maddening logic, ?We should not pay for our meal, since courtesy is the duty of her service.?

?I don?t think that?s necessary in this case,? Kelsey cleared his throat and looked around the room for some kind of distraction.  Haer?dalis was still yammering with the chef, who showed no signs of making Kelsey?s breakfast anytime soon.  

?Rivvil orn quanth ukt karliik xuil natha resk'afar,? Solaufein was staring at Kelsey intently.

?Well, I know you said something about humans,? Kelsey smiled uneasily, but he was becoming rapidly irritated with Solaufein?s inscrutable air.  He had the faint notion that he?d just been insulted.

?I do not understand you,? Sola offered by way of explanation.  ?You are a tradesman, are you not?  You say that she has shown you disrespect and deficient service.  Yet you would pay her, and encourage it.  This does not make sense to me.?

?It?s just not that big of a deal,? Kelsey sighed impatiently.  ?She?s probably just not used to people being polite to her.?

?But you said??

?I know what I said,? Kelsey interrupted.  ?But it is more of a guideline than a rule.?

?I see,? replied Solaufein, though Kelsey doubted that he did.  But Sola seemed satisfied with his answer, and returned to his scribbling.  Kelsey sat for a moment watching him, and then felt bad for his brusqueness.  His questions hadn?t been unreasonable.

?I?m sorry, Sola,? he offered.

?Why, abbil?? Solaufein looked surprised and confused.

?I didn?t mean to snap at you,? he sighed and fidgeted with his protection ring.  ?I?m just tired.?

?Did you not sleep??  Solaufein asked with no apparent insinuation about his relationship with Cas?ira.  In fact, ever since he?d joined their group, Sola had given no indication that he acknowledged their romance at all.  

?I did,? he replied with chagrin.  ?Thank you for asking.  I slept fine.  I?m just still tired.  We?ve been traveling a lot lately, and I guess I just haven?t gotten caught up on my rest yet.?

?You require more rest than others??

?Well,? he smiled wanly.  ?I am only human, after all.?

?Yes,? Solaufein nodded as if this made it all make sense.  That offended Kelsey, but he decided that it was best to let this go, else he find himself in another awkward discussion about human penchants.  He was about to return to his guilty ruminations when he heard familiar voices coming down the stairs.

??twice a day and you will find those bruises will disappear very quickly,? Anomen was talking in his usual self-possessed manner.  The very sound of his voice set Kelsey on edge.

?Thank you,? Cas?ira was still hoarse from sleep, but she sounded genuinely cheerful.  ?So I just apply it directly??

?Yes, precisely,? he replied.  ?I would demonstrate, but propriety would not allow such presumption.  However, if you would like, I could summon a healer.?

?No, that?s alright,? she chuckled.  ?I think I can figure out how to smear by myself.?

?Of course,? he said, clearing his throat.

?This is very considerate of you, Anomen.  As ever, you are useful as well as ornamental.?

Anomen beamed radiantly.  ?Well, a fair lady should not have to suffer the marks of battle, however valiantly earned.?

Kelsey repressed an encroaching surge of magical energy he was sure would manifest as something horribly acidic.  Anomen took the notion of protectiveness too far, and frequently masked it in the moral shroud of chivalry.  It vexed Kelsey, but there wasn?t much he could do about it without looking like a jealous fool.  Making an issue of his overtures would only provide more fodder for his self-righteous pride.

?It is my honor to serve, my lady,? he flourished a bow.  It was not yet noon, and Anomen was already wearing his breastplate.  Secretly, Kelsey suspected that it was because it made him look bigger, though Anomen claimed that he always liked to be prepared for any eventualities.  

Yes, just in case orcs should happen to storm the inn and demand the surrendering of all baked goods. Kelsey thought with contempt.

?Well, since you?re so eager,? Cas?ira crooned, patting Anomen on the cheek, ?Why don?t you serve me breakfast.  I?m starving.?

?I?ll get it for you,? Kelsey interrupted.  ?I was just ordering some myself.?

?Would a traditional breakfast satisfy, my lady?  Eggs and bacon, perhaps??  Anomen ignored Kelsey entirely.  Cas?ira turned and flashed Kelsey a disarming, sympathetic smile, and then rested her hand on Anomen?s muscular arm.  Kelsey twitched.

?That sounds wonderful,? she replied with much more grace than he thought was reasonable.  As Anomen trotted off to fulfill her request, he shot Kelsey a smug, reproachful glare.  Cas?ira shook her head as she watched him, then started toward the table.

?I don?t know what kind of black magic he uses to get his energy, Helm forgive him.  Good morning, Kelsey dear,? she bent and kissed him lightly on the forehead.  He wanted to grab her and savage her at that moment, but instead he forced a smile.

He stood and offered his chair so she could sit, before Anomen came rushing up to do it for him.  She smiled and thanked him absently as she settled in, brushing her hair back from her face, which looked tired and lovely.  He took the chair beside her, hoping Anomen might pick somewhere else to alight his arrogance, but doubted very much that he would.  

?Did you sleep well?? he asked, trying not to sound annoyed.

?I did?? she spoke around a yawn, then rubbed her eyes.  ?Too well.  When I woke up, it took me a few minutes to remember where I was.?

?I never have that problem,? Solaufein commented, seeming to suddenly come alive at her presence.  

?Well, you wouldn?t,? she grinned.  ?What with all this sun everywhere.?

?Yes, quite,? his stoic face change into a faint, wistful smile.  ?But I am becoming fond of mornings.  It is a good time for quiet reflection.?

?And what are you reflecting upon this morning?? she leaned forward engagingly.

?The nature of evil,? he replied flatly, with no more passion than if he had just mentioned the weather.  Cas?ira blinked, clearly taken aback by his directness.  An awkward moment passed before she answered.

?Yes?  What of it??

?Malla jalil, tell me...Do you think that I am evil?? he folded his arms and leaned on the table, his brow furrowing handsomely with worry.

?Explicitly?  No,? she seemed relieved, for some reason.  Kelsey wondered at her caginess.  He would have to ask her about it later.  ?I don?t think you?d be considered good by most standards of judgment, however.?

?Because I am drow?? his gold eyes were deeply focused.

?No, not exactly,? she hedged, considering her answer.  ?Though I think drow are largely looked upon as an evil society, I don?t think that necessitates that a given individual drow is invariably evil.?

?But you think that I am, if not explicitly so,? he concluded.

?Well,? she began carefully.  ?You do things for your own reasons, rather than for a higher moral purpose.  Of course, so do I.  But don?t tell Anomen that.  I don?t think he?d understand.?

?Understand what?? Anomen set a plate of steaming fried eggs and bacon in front of her, and then took the seat on her opposite side, just as Kelsey had hoped he wouldn?t.  Anomen?s own plate was heaped with an assortment of meats, cheese and bread.  Kelsey stared at it enviously.  Evidently, the wench had forgotten all about his meal.

?Nothing,? Cas?ira graciously sidestepped.  ?Solaufein and I were just discussing philosophy.  This looks delicious, thank you.?

?My privilege, as always.  But, my lady, you know that I have been thoroughly schooled in the philosophic arts and sciences by the Order,? he sniffed indignantly.  ?I am quite confident that I could understand whatever it is you are discussing.?

?Of course,? Cas?ira patted his hand reassuringly.  ?We have not reached an academic point, yet.  If it does, we would certainly consult you.?

Cas?ira?s deference to Anomen?s boundless ego was maddening to Kelsey.  He wanted to strangle him and then shake Cas?ira by the shoulders until she came round from whatever fanciful idea she had of him.  Her patience for his blustering was inexplicable.

?Actually,? Solaufein interjected, ?Perhaps you could help me with this matter, Anomen.?

?Certainly,? he held up his hand.  ?One moment, yet.  I must offer my morning prayer to Helm.?

?Aren?t you supposed to do that in private?? Kelsey couldn?t keep the derision from his voice.  The man was intolerably portentous: praying in front of everyone just to demonstrate his piety before deigning to offer his moral guidance.  

?Helm hears all prayers given with a true heart,? Anomen retorted.  Kelsey rolled his eyes, and then felt a sharp jab to his ribs from Cas?ira?s elbow.  He suppressed a snarl.

They all waited as Anomen muttered a lengthy unintelligible appeal to his patron god.  After he was satisfied that proper homage had been paid, he took a large bite of a sausage and returned his attention to Solaufein, who had been watching him with curious, quiet regard.

?Now, then,? Anomen continued after laboriously swallowing his meat, ?You had questions for me??

?Yes,? Solaufein began slowly, ?Do you believe that the drow are an evil race, or an evil society??

Anomen looked perplexed, and used the excuse of taking another bite of his breakfast to bide his time for an answer.

?An evil race,? he answered with resolute finality.

?I see,? Solaufein replied.  If he was insulted by Anomen?s judgment, it was not evident.  Cas?ira?s eyes moved from Anomen to Solaufein with open interest as she nibbled a piece of bacon.

?While I consider you a worthy warrior, and a comrade of sorts,? Anomen continued, ?I do not feel that you aspire to a higher moral purpose.  You serve your own interests, and this opens you to the fallibility of your instincts, which we must all strive to temper and avert.?

?Then by that reasoning,? Solaufein countered, ?If I were to adopt a higher moral purpose, I would cease to be evil.?

?In theory,? Anomen thought for a moment.  ?But I have never met any drow with regard for superior morality.?

?Still,? he argued, ?should I adopt such a foundation, then the drow would cease to be an evil race, in your eyes.?  

Anomen leaned back in his seat, and stroked his beard as he contemplated the matter.

?In such an unlikely event,? Anomen enounced each word precisely, realizing as he did that his principles were at stake,  ?That you should whole-heartedly devote yourself to a truly higher purpose of righteousness, this still does not refute my position.  One extraordinary exception would not disprove the general rule.?

?Would it not?? Sola challenged him.  ?A rule is an absolute, and should I prove an exception, then the rule would be rendered untrue.  Unless I have misunderstood your meaning.  Perhaps this is just a? how did m?elzar Kelsey put it?  A guideline??

Anomen scoffed as he cast a sidelong glance toward Kelsey, who felt the pit of his stomach fall.  He hoped against hope that Solaufein would not bring up his flirtations with the wench (who was still nowhere to be found) in order to illustrate his point.

?One oughtn?t look to the peddler-mageling for defining principles in any case,? Anomen snorted derisively.  ?Rest assured, these are absolutes that we are discussing.  Do not allow yourself to be morally sidetracked by? vague convictions.?

Kelsey was nearly biting his tongue through to keep from retorting, but Cas?ira?s tightening hand on his arm stayed him quiet.

?Yet, it follows that if your rule is absolute,? Solaufein smoothly redirected Anomen?s focus, ?An exception would disprove it.?

?What is your point?? So far, Anomen was more confused than annoyed, but his patience, like his morality, had an absolute threshold.

?I have been considering many things since I have joined Cas?ira,? his voice took on an introspective inflection.  ?You have a secure position in rivvil society, Anomen, for which you have striven all your life to reach.  I admire your tenacity, because I too strove for a similar rank of respect among my people.?

?An evil rank,? Anomen added.  ?One that preys upon the weak and rewards the ruthless and the selfish.?

?To your way of thinking, yes,? he paused, considering.  ?But among my people, it is viewed much differently.  To aid the weak, as a paladin of your station frequently does, is considered a grievous crime.  It is believed that encouraging weakness will create a weak civilization, thereby reducing the quality of life for everyone.?

?Quality of life is not a higher purpose,? Anomen retorted tersely.

?Perhaps,? he mused.  ?But then, I am no longer part of drow society.  I left for my own reasons.?

?Which are still unclear to me,? Anomen pointedly replied.

?As I have explained before, I do not agree with the current politics of the drow,? he explained.  ?As you saw in Ust Natha, the matriarchs no longer serve the betterment of the drow society.  I believe in time, this will resolve itself, and perhaps I can one day return.?

?You had a point, didn?t you??  Anomen took another bite of his sausage, as if to punctuate his question.

?Yes,? he continued, unruffled by Anomen?s snide manner,  ?I must, through necessity, conform to kivvil social mores, though at times I find it confusing and counter-intuitive.  I?m sure you would feel similarly about the drow.  But there are many aspects that I find worthy and comforting.  For instance, this desire to serve a higher moral purpose.  I have been considering this point most seriously.?

?Really.  Well,? Anomen huffed, ?I should tell you now that the Order won?t have you.?

?You don?t know that, Anomen,? Cas?ira finally interrupted.  Kelsey was wondering how long she was going to let the pompous lout browbeat Sola.  ?The Order has been known to take in those of many races and backgrounds should they prove themselves worthy.?

?Bah,? he waved his hand dismissively.  ?Stuff and nonsense.  The Order has never in its history admitted a drow among the ranks of the honored.  Not even so much as a stableboy.?

?And so, rivven,? Solaufein?s countenance chilled several degrees, ?Despite my good deeds, a drow would not be fit to shovel your horse?s manure.  Is that your view??

?Has anyone seen Edwin??  Cas?ira quickly interceded, hoping they would both take the hint and drop the matter.  She nodded shrewdly toward Solaufein, who leaned back in his seat and held his tongue, but the storm in his eyes betrayed his umbrage at Anomen?s bigotry.  Anomen merely chewed his breakfast haughtily, as if nothing untoward had transpired.

?He said he was going to look for a library,? Haer?dalis chimed in.  They all turned around simultaneously in surprise.  Evidently, he had been lurking behind them for some time, quietly listening to the conversation.  Kelsey suspected that he?d used his planar abilities to make himself less noticeable, since he seemed to just pop out of the ether.  He was amazed that the tiefling hadn?t commented before now, considering that he knew the pressures of racial prejudice very well.

?Well, he was up uncharacteristically early,? Cas?ira mused sardonically.  ?I don?t think he?s seen the morning sun in weeks.  I was beginning to wonder if he was becoming a vampire.?

?One could only hope,? Anomen sneered.  ?What I wouldn?t give for such an invitation.?

?L'zhaunil d'natha noamuth auflaque,? Solaufein muttered.

?Speak plainly if you have something to say, drow,? Anomen snapped.

?And so I shall,? he replied, with cold razor exactitude.  ?You have the wisdom of a stray dog, rivven.  You wander aimlessly through the world, confident of your filthy prejudices, oblivious to the fact that you are regarded with only disgust and pity.  Why Cas?ira tolerates your stupidity, I have yet to fully comprehend.?

Anomen blinked in astonishment, then stood abruptly, reaching for his flail.  

?By Helm, you shall regret that you ever crawled from your black hole, fiend!? he bellowed furiously.

Before he could free his weapon, Cas?ira grabbed Anomen by the forearm, giving him a sharp yank.  He swung around, nearly knocking her backward.  Kelsey shot up from his own chair, all too ready to reduce Anomen to a neat pile of paladin ash.  His hands were already warming.  Haer?dalis merely backed away, glancing around the room at the surprised, fearful patrons who waited anxiously to see the fireworks.

?Calm yourselves!? Cas?ira?s voice took on an authority that gave everyone pause.  Anomen hulked over the table flush with murderous ire while Solaufein remained seated, glaring at him with icy hostility.  But neither of them moved to inflict more on the other beyond antagonistic looks.  Kelsey flexed his hands nervously trying to rid himself of the magical fire that begged to be freed from his fingertips.  His heart raced with adrenaline.

?Well,? Haer?dalis chuckled.  ?Wasn?t that exciting!  Cas?ira, I was thinking that you might join me for a stroll to the market.  I was hoping to have my harp restrung.?

And then something within Kelsey snapped.

?And you want her to pay for it, no doubt!? Kelsey found himself blurting out before he realized what he?d said.  Everyone momentarily forgot the hostilities between Anomen and Solaufein, and merely stared at him.  Haer?dalis smiled and shrugged.

?If she should offer,? he replied glibly,  ?Shall I refuse??

?If you had any decency, you would. You would earn your gold like the rest of us,? Kelsey wasn?t even sure where he was going with this or why.  Perhaps it was transference, since he could not direct his ire where he felt it belonged: squarely through the heart of that insufferable Anomen.

?Decency?? Haer looked sincerely confused.  ?What are you talking about, my friend??

?You know? decency?  The act of being decent??  Kelsey felt his outrage growing out of control.  ?It?s that thing you do for ?your friends?!  It?s the way you act toward those who you care about!  It?s when you set aside your own petty desires long enough to see what she does for you!  It?s when you??

?Kelsey?? Cas?ira?s voice was steely and cold.  ?Will you join me upstairs for a moment??

?What!? Kelsey was too angry to stop now.  ?Now that Kelsey speaks, no one wants to listen?  Well, I?m tired of always being the nice guy.  I?m sick of Anomen raving like a fanatical lunatic anytime anyone so much as hints at disagreement with him.  I?m tired of Haer?dalis forever begging from the party?s treasury for inane things that, if he had a modicum of accountability, he ought to be able to afford on his own.  I?m sick of Sola?s pouting!  I?m sick to death of Edwin?s constant invective!?

Everyone stared wordlessly at Kelsey, who was now shaking with emotion.  He was shocked at himself, especially since he hadn?t lit something on fire, yet.  He wanted to.

?But most of all,? he ground out through clenched teeth.  ?I am weary of your tolerance for all of it, Cas?ira.  I have followed and I have loved you.  I have given you everything you?ve asked of me, body and soul.  And yet every day I wake up with a feeling of dread knowing that I?ll have to endure another day with these abusive, irrational ingrates you keep in your orbit.?

A long moment dragged by.  Somewhere in the kitchen, a pan clattered.  Someone coughed.

?Bah,? Anomen snorted, casting his hands up as he strode toward the door.  ?Enough.  I will suffer no more of this fool and his rantings.?

?Don?t you dare walk away from me,? Kelsey snarled.  ?You, least of all.?

?I suggest you recall, worthless dilettante, that if it were not for Cas?ira's fondness for you ? though by Helm?s bones, I know not why ? I would have long since seen you on your way,? Anomen pointed at him with a menacing glare. ?Do not tempt me now.?

?Kelsey,? Cas?ira spoke quietly, taking his arm and pulling him toward the stairs.  ?I am not asking.  Join me.  Now.?

Reluctantly, he followed her upstairs.  She was stony and silent, and the staircase might as well have been a mountain so slow did time creep as he trudged behind her resolute frame.  As his temper cooled, his anger was replaced by a distinctly cold feeling. Fear.  Fear for his very life.  Did he truly love her so much that her wrath would terrify him so?  Had he really fallen so deep?  Or was it something more?

He did not have time to think it through before she was behind him, closing the bedroom door with a slam.

***************************************************************

[To be continued...]

Edited by thinkinc, 17 August 2004 - 11:48 AM.

[thinkinc]

Part II

She locked the door behind her. The room was still, as if someone had cast a time-halting spell and only Cas?ira remained free. He was frozen in the wake of her glare, and could but wait for what she had to say. The sounds of peasants shouting in the streets wafted up through the window. A carriage clattered by. Moments passed with nothing but silence between them as she bore into him with a frigidly fixed stare. Finally, Kelsey could no longer stand it.

?Cas, I?m sorry,? he began hesitantly. ?I just don?t??

?Let me speak,? her voice was measured, quiet and terrifying. ?You have been with me for six months and fourteen days, Kelsey. Yes, I know you think I don?t keep count, but I have. Mostly, because I care for you, but in part because hardly a day goes by when you are not complaining to me about something.?

?Cas?ira, I don?t think??

?Will you be quiet, and let me finish!? she barked, bringing him up short. The force of her reply propelled him to silence. He sat down in the overstuffed chair and folded his arms over his stomach. He struggled to fight back the knot in his throat. Now was not the time for him to break down, but this had all been so much for him recently, and now she was not making any sense.

?I realize that this has been hard for you,? she continued, visibly trying to maintain her own composure. ?But you must realize that I did not ask you to follow me. You veritably begged me to take you away from that regiment you were working for. You were the one who wanted to escape from the mundane for a bit of adventure.

?Well, now you have it. In spades. This is my life, Kelsey. I did not choose it ? it was thrust upon me. But, I do make what choices I can. And I choose the members of my group with awareness of their strengths and flaws, and what I do not already know, I will learn over time. I will decide whether they do or do not suit me. Not you.?

?If you would only tell me your reasoning,? he began helplessly. ?You never communicate anything other than pleasantries and pillowtalk. I feel like you don?t trust me. If a chit-chat and a good romp is all you want, you should tell me openly. Up until now, I?d been operating under the assumption that I meant more than that to you.?

?Careful, Kelsey,? she narrowed her violet eyes at him. ?Very careful. You know that I love you. You are treading thinly to doubt the depth of my feelings.?

?Am I!? he seemed to find his confidence, though it was a tenuous grasp. ?What exactly are your feelings for me? You are kinder to that self-righteous, arrogant thug Anomen than you ever are to me. I?d never treat you with half the disrespect that he does! You say you love me, but yet, why act this way??

?I don?t have to justify how I treat Anomen or why,? she turned away, clasping her hands at the small of her graceful back. ?He is a powerful ally, though not for the reasons he thinks. He is conceited, but that is the least of my concerns. It is important that I have a friend among the Order.?

?Why?? Kelsey cried incredulously. ?To turn the undead? I could do that easily with a spell. You don?t need the Order.?

?You don?t know what you?re talking about,? she snapped.

?Then, by all means and gods, enlighten me!? he impeached. She glanced at him with a mixture of guilt and anger and something else Kelsey couldn?t identify. But it made his skin crawl.

?You cannot understand what I went through before you met me,? she began quietly. ?Before Anomen and the others, too.?

?I know your life was hard,? Kelsey?s voice softened at her vulnerability. ?So was mine??

?No,? she cut him off abruptly. ?No, your life was not hard. You were the sheltered, spoiled son of a rich merchant, petulant that he did not fill his father?s shoes as well as he should have. Yours was a life of privilege and opportunity. You were not orphaned. You were not forced to live in the streets! To sell your body to the highest bidder! To run for your very life without any idea why you were being tracked! You cannot know these things as I do!?

Her eyes burned holes in his very soul for a long time before she turned away again.

?I?m sorry, darling,? Kelsey shook his head. ?You?re right? I can?t. I want to help you through that, but?but, you won?t let me.?

?You can?t help me,? she answered flatly. "It would be better for both of us if you accepted that."

?Fine,? he replied with resignation. There was another long pause between them as she stared pensively at nothing. ?You still haven?t told me why you need that blasted Anomen and his Order. I know by now that you aren?t the religious type.?

?That is my worry,? she replied with a cold hollow edge. ?You should trust that if it is important to me, then it must be so. Anomen has his failings, but he is a valuable man, and he would not allow me to come to harm so long as he still has breath within him.?

?And what about me?? Kelsey felt the tears searing in his eyes, threatening to spill down his cheeks. ?Do you not trust me? Am I not a ?valuable man?? Have I not shown you over and over that I am willing to lay down my life for you? Must I die for you to believe that??

?I do trust you, Kelsey. More than anyone else. But, you cannot protect me from the dangers I speak of,? she leaned heavily against the mantle of the fireplace. It was cold, sooty, and devoid of fire, much like the inside of her chest felt now.

?You have to tell me what?s going on sometime, Cas?ira,? he came up behind her and wrapped his arms around her middle, kissing the back of her head where her raven hair swirled.

?No,? she said, her voice wavering slightly. ?I don?t.?

?Why? Are you afraid I won?t love you?? he stroked her arms gently, hoping that she would relax. Her muscles were taut beneath his palms. ?Darling, whatever you were before we met, I don?t judge that. I love who you are now. Right here and now.?

?I am talking about right here and now!? she spat, spinning around to face him. Kelsey staggered backward, injured and bewildered. ?You are so ignorant! You now nothing and understand even less of what you see! Your narrow, selfish, juvenile vision of the world has no room for the kinds of monstrosities that?? she abruptly stopped, looking away and biting her lip so hard he worried that it would bleed.

?Monstrosities?? he tilted his head, hoping to catch her glance, but she purposely avoided him. ?It can?t be that bad. Whatever torments you? you are innocent. You aren?t a monster.?

?You don?t know that,? she replied hoarsely. Her delicate elvish frame began to quiver.

?Yes,? he reached for her cheek, tentatively touching it. ?Yes, I do know. You are no monster, Cas?ira. Only hurt and lost and frightened. But I am here for you. I want to protect you, don?t you understand that??

She closed her eyes and grunted. Her jaw flexed, and she swallowed uncontrollably.

?Kelsey, stop! Do not touch me!? she railed, swatting his hand aside.

?What? What should I do then? I don?t understand!? he stammered, his own emotions were tearing at his heart, propelling him near the breaking point. He wiped away the tears that were starting to creep down his cheeks. ?All I?ve ever tried to do is love you, but I don?t understand why you push me away!?

?Get out! Get away from me!? she squeezed her eyes shut. Her complexion turned ashen. When she faltered and reached for the wall, he decided to risk her ire again and rushed forward to steady her. Her whole body was shaking uncontrollably, and her temperature was growing wildly feverish.

?What?s wrong, darling? Are you ill? Sit down,? he was struggling to pull her convulsing body toward the chair. ?Here, sit here. Take a breath. Talk to me. Tell me what?s wrong!?

?By all that is holy, if you value your life, BACK AWAY!? her voice sounded unnatural, as she growled at him. Her hands were gnarled into twisted claw-like contortions and sweat poured profusely from her, soaking her clothes. She pressed a distorted hand to her eyes and squeezed until her knuckles turned white. Kelsey was beginning to panic.

?Don?t move,? he panted, scouring his memory for some kind of spell that would help her, but he could think of nothing. Perhaps a healing potion would help. Something, anything to prevent this affliction from killing her. He searched the room, but his satchel had been mislaid the night before. He cursed several devils and deities as he flung their things around violently, ?You see?! This is why I like to be organized! This is the reason, Cas?ira, my love! Right now! I?m not mad, though! Just hold on!?

But he was going mad. Cas?ira fell to her knees and pounded her fist so hard that it left a deep impression in the floor.

?Just be calm, darling! Sit down! Breathe!? Kelsey was dashing around the room frantically digging for his potions, too hysterical to notice when she started to gabble in a language not her own.

He finally fond his reagent pouch, and summarily dumped it out on the ground, spilling spell components haphazardly on the carpet. A slender blue flask rolled under the settee, and Kelsey dove for it desperately. He was still calling words of comfort to her when she began to change.

The room filled with an infernal red glow, suffusing everything with a taint of evil so purely vile that Kelsey felt his heart drop instantly to his knees. He was paralyzed with fear; too petrified to even turn around and face what he was sure would not be his true love. As the glow subsided, a hulking shadow swallowed Kelsey?s comparatively small form in its malevolent eclipse.

Slowly, Kelsey forced himself to roll over and face whatever manner of hell this was, and as he did, he could only gape in abject horror. His lungs gasped for breath, but it seemed that the creature before him was sucking the will to exist from his very soul. He could not bring himself to scream or look away from the being ? indeed, monster! ? that loomed over him.

Its eyes were black, so very black that the daylight did not reflect in them. Only endless torment and abyss. The creature?s gaping maw howled and snarled at him in a harrowing, infernal tongue. The deepest depth of Hell was the only place from which this fiend could possibly hail. There was nothing but sheer malice standing where his lover had been just but moments before.

He managed to whisper Cas?ira?s name, just before the ghastly incarnation of Bhaal, God of Murder, crushed his skull between its yawning jaws. It was a relatively quick death, but his torment was protracted in a fashion of cruelty that no mortal should have to endure, as the Slayer consumed his soul with greedy brutality, utterly destroying all trace of the life that had been Kelsey.

Unsatisfied, the demonic avatar began to rend Kelsey?s lifeless, soulless body limb from limb, scattering his entrails across the room in a macabre frenzy. It was only when the beast caught its own reflection in the mirror that it ceased its fury and bayed forth a scream so unspeakably infernal, that every mortal within earshot staggered and gasped for breath. Some fled in confusion and panic. Others collapsed where they stood. Cas?ira?s comrades came flying up the stairs and were banging on the door calling to her frantically.

?Through the marshes the wind rides and carries the souls, of the righteous who pray to the gods of old? Through the shadows we hail, our song and hearts true, will salvage the wicked from perilous doom??

The elvish hymnal echoed through her consciousness like a long-forgotten memory. Her eyes flickered open, and she peered through a daze of incomprehension at the four men who stood over her, weapons drawn. They were shouting something at her, but she couldn?t hear. She closed her eyes again and took a deep, shuddering breath, trying to free her mind of the dimness that weighed on it so heavily.

?? you hurt! Who attacked? What is this madness!? Anomen was trying to help her up, but he was slippery with blood. Unspeakable gore coated every visible surface with a deep angry crimson. The room smelled of fresh butchery. She felt a sense of overwhelming dread fill the space where her soul should be, and it nearly forced her back out of consciousness.

?Cas?ira! Speak, my lady! Does the danger remain? Are you injured?? Anomen was trying to wipe the blood out of her eyes, but only succeeded in smearing it across her face. Her whole body felt weak and empty. She rolled to her side and vomited.

?Kelsey?? she croaked pitifully as Anomen wiped her mouth with a sheet. His eyes were still wild with panic, but he managed enough presence of mind to shake his head. Solaufein was surveying the scene in stoic dismay. Haer?dalis was silently holding his hand to his mouth, looking as if he might be sick as well.

?He is dead,? Solaufein replied coldly. She squeezed her eyes shut and screamed inside herself. Not again!

Anomen pulled her into his lap and tried to support her as she struggled for an even breath. ?There is nothing we can do for him. Are you injured? I cannot tell? there is so much? so much blood.? Her head began to swim again.

?We need to get her to a temple,? Anomen said, his voice laced with fear. ?Some great evil has struck here, and I fear it continues to afflict her.?

She sputtered out an abrupt, choking laugh that sent her into a violent coughing fit. The three of her comrades who remained unsavaged by her dark secret looked on at her in horror and compassion, for none thought her capable of the atrocity that her inner demon had wrought upon her beloved Kelsey. They assumed instead that the shock had rendered her incoherent, but she knew it wouldn?t be long before they would begin to suspect?

?Rest easy, my lady,? Anomen wiped his brow with his forearm. ?We will get you to a temple and cleanse you of this unnamed evil. I know Kelsey was dear to you. He has gone to a better place. I shall say a pray to Helm for his safe passage.?

?No,? she whispered hoarsely. ?He?s gone?gone forever.?

?She is traumatized,? Anomen spoke to the others as he lifted her in his arms. ?We must hurry.?

Solaufein said nothing, but she saw the wary look in his eyes as he stood aside to let Anomen pass. She wondered if he could feel her culpability. He lived with evil for so long, surely he must possess the ability to sense it in her. If he did, he betrayed nothing as he watched Anomen hurry down the steps with her limp body still twitching from the nightmare.

?Gods above. I have never seen such as this. Poor Kelsey,? Haer?dalis muttered solemnly. They both stared at the carnage for a long moment. ?What a horrible way to die.?

?Yes,? Solaufein nodded. ?Whatever killed him was a truly evil thing. One wonders why such a power should pass over Cas?ira to destroy him so utterly.?

?Do you think he summoned something he shouldn?t have?? Haer?dalis asked anxiously.

?Kelsey was not that foolish,? Solaufein picked his way through the room carefully, examining the remains of the grisly incident with serious, aloof interest.

?Of course not,? Haer?dalis looked at the blood on his hands. ?But he often had trouble controlling his magic. He was angry earlier. I?ve never seen him that upset before.?

?I do not believe Kelsey could have summoned something this malicious and fierce,? the drow looked into the shattered mirror at his tired dark-skinned reflection. ?Whatever it was killed him before he ever had a chance to fight. There is no evidence that he managed a single spell in his defense. No, abbil... This was the work of a godlike power. It yet fills every crevice. Can you not feel it as well? Zik'den'veveren aterruce.?

?Yes. I do feel it,? the tiefling edged away from the room, suddenly more fearful that they were not out of danger?s way. Chaos seemed his bane without inviting it. He could sense that the planes still shifted around him, and it felt distinctly infernal.

Onlookers were beginning to collect near the doorway. A woman screamed.

?Murderers!? she bleated hysterically. ?Vile murderers! Someone help us!? She fled for the stairs in a wild panic, tripping and tumbling downward. Her shrieks were punctuated with the thuds of her body as she scrambled frantically to escape. Two men appeared outside of the room to see what the commotion was about.

?You there! Drow!? the larger man barked. ?What is? by all that is sacred, w-what??!?

?Stay back,? Solaufein commanded. They turned sallow and clambered away, shouting for the guards to save them from the murdering drow. Sola and Haer looked at each other knowingly.

?I think we should take our leave,? Haer?dalis remarked pointedly. Solaufein nodded his agreement. He began his incantation to manifest a dimensional portal, without much regard for the destination. Anywhere was better than the present. They would have to find Anomen and Cas'ira later.

The last thing they heard before the portal closed behind them was the stomping footsteps of the approaching guards and the shouts for them to halt where they stood, which neither of them had any intention of heeding under the circumstances.

A bloody scene with a drow and a tiefling would bring no justice, only swift execution. If not by law, then by mob rule. It was the way with frightened rivvil; Solaufein knew this well already. This did not bode favorably for their future, Sola thought to himself. Even though they had escaped, the authorities would surely come looking for them, and right soon. Solaufein worried that he had left one realm of violent persecution for another, and nothing about the bloodshed that followed Cas?ira like a dedicated stalker, was becoming any clearer to him.

*********************************************************************

Edited by thinkinc, 09 August 2004 - 04:09 AM.

[thinkinc]

Edwin reached up to pull the hood of his robe further over his eyes. This was at first to shield himself from the uncomfortable glaring sunlight. But as he wandered through the ostentatious marketplace ? here, for titivation?s sake they call it a ?promenade? ? he felt the distinctly hostile stares of the plebeians as they passed, and that perturbed him far more than the sun.

Yes, I am a Red Wizard, you imbeciles. Go ahead and stare. Hope ? no, pray to whatever deity you futilely beleaguer ? that I don?t grow weary of your vulgar ignorance, lest I amuse myself by combusting your eyes in their sockets.

He had been hoping to find a library so that he could research a more obscure passage of ancient elvish lore that might give him some insight into the maddeningly incomprehensible Nether Scrolls. It both thrilled him and irritated him that these scrolls should be so byzantine. Of course, if they had not been cryptic, he would have been disappointed, knowing that nothing of worth would have been made obvious. In a perverse way, he enjoyed the intellectual challenge; especially one that he was sure would bear great reward.

But, so far as he could tell, there was no library in this godforsaken Athkatla, and in his frustration, he began to wonder if the denizens read at all, or if they merely grunted and gestured. He began to speculate this out loud after meeting ?Hes?, the thoroughly unhelpful peddler of thug?s trinkets. The boor had made it clear (in so much as was possible by grunting) that he had no intention of selling a Thayvian anything. Not even information. He?d met with similar responses from four other merchants and a priest before he finally gave up. It was a wonder to him that these simpletons managed a civilization at all, such as it was.

Eventually, the growing heat and his empty stomach began to gnaw at him, and now he cursed himself for skipping breakfast. But it had seemed too early to abide a meal with the irksome drow and that idiot tiefling hovering about. After giving his excuses, he?d slipped out, hoping to find something palatable elsewhere. But the rank stenches of the putrid meats hanging from the street vendor?s carts turned his stomach. Such refuse was fit only for the flies that swarmed them. At least Cas?ira had enough sense to pick an inn that was of tolerable quality. He was fairly certain that whatever the inn?s kitchen served would be reasonably free of rats.

Thus, he stomped up the entrance stairway of the Mithrest Inn, feeling the defensive knot in his gullet beginning to unwind at the thought of a bath and perhaps a glass of wine with a book. So preoccupied was he with his yen that he didn?t notice the commotion in the common room right away. He?d grown accustomed to disorder in the past weeks, what with the dives they?d holed up in while on the road. In such situations, he found it advantageous to simply pay no heed, since too many oafish fops were too willing to slip a blade between a Red Wizard?s ribs for the bragging rights.

Instead, it was the sudden sinking sense filling his innards that compelled him to peer out from beneath his hood. The crawling feeling that something tangibly wrong ? in fact, evil ? was afoot. He could almost smell it.

After a moment, he did. The metallic tang of blood hung in the air. He hesitated at the stairway and looked around him. The common room was crowded with sullen-faced people staring vacantly into empty glasses. Some of them were crying. Others were pale and quiet. Men paced around upstairs shouting indecipherable things to one another. Yet he could see no one familiar to him, and instinctively, he gathered the folds of his robe closer to himself. Where is that useless Cas?ira and her band of merry idiots, anyway?

A wealthy woman was sniveling to a pair of guards in between repulsive snorts into a handkerchief, her eyes unattractively swollen and her hair disheveled. Two other men stood beside her, looking wan and frightened, nodding their heads. One appeared reasonably well-bred and the other was more of a whelp, but nonetheless the unlikely trio had the attention of the serious-looking guard ? the one clearly in charge - who spoke to them in quiet tones.

??he was just? just standing there? with an axe?? she whimpered.

?Do you remember what the axe looked like?? the guard asked, taking notes. (So, they can read..)

?It had a long handle? it was?black? with silver markings on the side? I don?t know what they meant? they looked like some kind of? runes, perhaps?,? she blew her nose again, ??and the blade was?oh, about this long,? she made a gesture with her hands that described a size that was unreasonably large for any axe Edwin had ever seen. He backed away behind the railing of the stairs so he could listen awhile longer.

?Are you sure?? the guard looked at her skeptically.

?Oh yes,? she nodded vigorously. ?I?ll never forget the look of that awful thing as long as I live.?

?Alright, then,? the guard made another notation, then stopped to look around the room. His eyes fell almost immediately on Edwin. It was the red robe. It always was.

?You there,? he barked. Edwin scowled. ?Come here, you.?

?Excuse me, but I am a patron here,? he began in a haughty sneer. ?I just walked in and I?d like to know what is going on. It smells like someone died.?

?I said get over here,? the man growled. ?Everyone must be questioned.?

?Fine,? Edwin flung back the folds of his robe impatiently and stalked toward the man. ?I will answer your inane questions, though I?m quite sure that you will only waste my time, which though meaningless to one like you, is very valuable to me. As I said - you do understand Common, I hope, since I don't speak idiot - I just arrived.?

?Yes, yes,? the guard gestured to a chair beside him. ?Just have a seat and keep quiet. I?ll be with you in a moment.?

Edwin sat down reluctantly and glowered at the guards. They ignored him and went back to questioning the whimpering nobelwoman.

?Are you certain that he was an elf?? he continued.

?I don?t know?? she snorted wetly. ?He had black skin?but he looked elven. I?d swear by it.?

?Drow,? the other guard muttered. The guard-in-charge nodded his agreement.

?Yes,? the whelp began babbling. ?Drow. That?s it. I was trying to think of the word for them. He was definitely drow. I saw one once in Trademeet. In a bar. He looked just like this one. They all look the same, you know.?

They must be talking about Solaufein? But he had no such weapon. Besides, a drow with an axe? Edwin scoffed. Preposterous. There are no trees in the Underdark. Imbeciles. Still, he felt his heart begin to thud uncomfortably at the thought that there was a reason none of his companions were here. And he was about to be at the business end of that reason.

?That feller there,? the stocky innkeeper pointed at Edwin. His heart slammed against his chest. ?He came in with ?im. Last night. ?im and that drow and the others.?

The superior guard turned and gave Edwin an appraising glance. Edwin merely stared back impassively.

?Where are your friends?? the guard asked, shrewdly taking in Edwin?s Thayvian countenance that he wore so unapologetically.

?What friends?? Edwin mustered a haughty tone. ?I am, as is totally obvious to anyone with eyes and the intellect to use them, traveling alone. I have no idea what is going on here, though I?d very much like some answers. I dislike being barked at by dogs.?

?He?s a bloody liar,? the innkeeper glared at Edwin. ?He came in with ?em last night, as sure as I?m standin? ?ere now. I knew he?d be trouble first time I laid eyes on ?im.?

?You ill-bred thieving bigotous hypocrite,? Edwin snapped. ?You knew well enough to take my coin, though, didn?t you! Where was your all-consuming suspicion then? Hmm? This is outrageous. I shall not be your pigeon, fool!?

?Quiet!? the guard roared. ?Now, I?ll ask you again, wizard,? the guard stepped closer, looking for all the world like he?d take great pleasure in running him through. ?Where are your friends??

?I don?t know what you mean,? he folded his arms across his chest and made a show of looking piqued. ?I arrived last night from Thay, and I have been out all morning attending to my business here. You may contact the Zulkir Sabass in Benzatur. He will corroborate this fact. And then you may grovel your apologies for interfering with the official business of a sanctioned Red Wizard. Are you prepared for that eventuality, underling??

?I am prepared to do whatever it takes to find out who is responsible for the massacre upstairs,? the guard did not seem impressed with Edwin?s threat. ?Perhaps you are innocent of any involvement in this matter, but somehow I doubt that.?

?I demand to speak to my Zulkir,? Edwin made a move to stand, but the guard pushed him back in his seat.

?Your demand has been noted,? he nodded to his partner, who had been glowering at Edwin the entire time. ?Take this man to the prison. I shall want to question him later. And see that he does not make use of his magic.?

?That?s absurd!? Edwin threw up his hands. ?I have been licensed by the Cowled Wizards. I paid my five-thousand gold extortion that no doubt financed your worthless job, fool! This is abject madness! You have no proof that I had anything to do with any of this!?

?Take this man away before I lose my temper,? the guard waved his hand dismissively.

For all of Edwin?s well-performed blustering, he knew that a fight with the city guards would likely not end in his favor. How he cursed Cas?ira now, as the guards led him to an armored carriage like a common beast to the slaughter. Peasants and nobles alike jeered and taunted him as he was bound with magical manacles and shoved in the cart amid several common brigands who looked at him with a mixture of curiosity and amusement.

?Fair day for a jaunt, eh, boy-o?? a nearly toothless thug snaggled. ?Goin? for a ride wif us now, are ye??

?Shut up fool,? Edwin snapped. ?If you value what teeth you have left, you will hold your tongue with them.?

?What?re you gonna do?? another one goaded. ?Curse us with harsh language??

They all laughed at him as the cart pulled away, heading for the city prison and Edwin?s uncertain fate. And at that moment, he would have given anything to see Cas?ira burned alive in the lowest plane of the Nine Hells.

[thinkinc]

Solaufein splashed the cool water over his face and watched as bloody rivulets flowed from his hands and dripped from his hair into the stream. He knew from experience that it would take at least an hour of solid washing to be completely free of the taint of Kelsey?s blood. But in Ust Natha, his baths were perfumed, luxurious rewards for a killing well done. Now as he stared at his wavering reflection in the stream, he wondered if the blood of the murdered could ever really be cleansed.

But he was not the murderer now. The thought was strangely comforting to him as he began stripping off his leather armor, setting it meticulously aside on a rock. It was the first time in his recollection that he was not responsible for the blood on his hands.

?How far do you think we are from Athkatla?? Haer?dalis was already naked standing waist-deep in the middle of the brook, wringing water out of his long, dark hair.

?Not far,? Solaufein squinted up at the sky through the trees. ?I did not have enough time to place us more than a few miles away safely. Perhaps we are in the Tethir Forest, though I cannot be certain.?

?My dark friend, I fear we?re ?twix the Lady and the ?loth, here. What do you think we should do?? he ran his hand over his planar-marked chin and looked at Solaufein with a kind of resigned concern. Sudden flights from danger were not unknown to him, but that didn?t make it any easier.

?I will need to rest before I can travel through the Ethereal again,? he peeled off his tunic and laid it carefully on top of his armor. ?We should stay here, for now. The roads will not be secure. On the morrow, I will venture back into town, but remain in the Border Ethereal as long as I can. That should keep me from notice until I can find out what happened.?

?Ghosting it will be well and fine, unless one of those barmy templemasters spots you,? he replied with a witty smile. ?You don?t want me to come along, then? I have walked the planes often for far less noble reasons.?

?I think it would be best that you remain here,? Sola unhitched his belt and tossed it aside as he considered his strategy. ?Regardless of whether I find her, I will return by moonrise. We shall decide what to do then.?

?You know, Anomen will look after Cas?ira,? Haer?dalis dunked his head under the water once more, flinging his hair back from his face as he surfaced, and began wading back to the bank. ?Don?t worry. He?s a clueless berk to be sure, but he is loyal as a well-fed dog and not the shadow of a shade.?

?I am not worried about her,? Solaufein pulled off his boots and seemed to take unusual interest in examining his feet. Haer?dalis smirked and patted him on the shoulder as he strolled by toward his own haphazard pile of clothes.

?Of course you aren?t,? he chuckled at Sola?s rigid denial as he dried himself with his cloak.

?Why do you laugh?? Sola glanced over his shoulder at Haer, who was watching him with an amused expression.

?I would have thought you?d become a better liar in the Underdark, that?s all,? he teased, pulling his tunic over his head. ?No wonder you had to leave.?

Solaufein was becoming accustomed to not understanding kivvil humor, and found it prudent to remain impassive, though Haer?dalis? jab had wounded him. He considered himself very adept at deception when it was required of him. His plot to undermine both the Matron Mother and Phaere had required an incredible amount of painstaking forethought and shrewd discipline.

Knowing that he must, he considered his answer meticulously as he waded into the stream, tracing his fingers across the surface of the water. He watched it reflect the sunlight in all directions like a curtain of shifting diamonds. It felt refreshing as it enveloped him. His sunburned skin seemed to melt deliciously in the cool suffusion, easing his tension.

?I am not concerned for Anomen?s ability to care for Cas?ira,? he eventually replied, splashing water over his face. ?I do not think she was critically harmed.?

?Such a delightfully obtuse prime you are,? Haer shook his head and smiled.

?I do not understand you,? he looked at Haer?dalis expressionlessly for a moment, masking his frustration with expertise not even the cynical tiefling could penetrate. ?I am only concerned for the danger of our predicament with these rivven so prone to fearful judgment. Are you not??

?Not especially,? he replied, sitting up and wrapping his arms around his legs. ?I know what you?re thinking, cutter. You and I? A tiefling. A drow. Wicked murderers of an innocent spoonbender. How perfectly wretched for the Amnians. But, my friend, we did not kill Kelsey.?

?No,? Solaufein stared into the water. ?But that does us no service if we are the only ones who know that.?

?Don?t be ridiculous. Cas?ira knows it. Anomen knows it,? Haer continued. ?He will explain that to the Order. Things will settle down given time.?

?Do you truly think so, abbil?? he eased onto his back in the stream and let his dark body drift on the slow current.

?Yes,? the tiefling furrowed his brows and tilted his head. ?You don?t??

?Anomen believes that I am irretrievably evil, as he said,? the drow paddled around languidly. ?He believes I am deserving of death. Why should he not take this opportunity to have the rivven execute me? It would be convenient and he would bear no culpability.?

?Well, to begin with, to accuse you would be a lie, and his Order?s code forbids that,? Haer replied, then paused as he watched the drow consider his response. ?A liar can?t hold the halo. Besides, he doesn?t really hate you. He just has a narky temper. You get used to his threats after a time. But most of all, Cas?ira would never let him do that. She?s far too fond of you.?

?Is she?? he pushed his wet hair back from his face, ?It is difficult to be certain of that.?

?Has the sun blinded your brain-box, cutter?? he laughed. ?She even fancies your cony poetry!?

Solaufein failed to see the relevance of their mutual interest in prose. He did not offer her anything in that regard that she could not get herself at any decent kivvil library. It was precious to him only because he?d had to work so hard to obtain and conceal the taboo texts among his people, but he was certain she could not appreciate that. In any event, he was not foolish enough to believe that a mere poem would save him from her wrath when the time came, no matter what the bard thought.

?Perhaps you are right, abbil. For now,? Sola?s face was graven as he started for the shore, squeezing the water from his long silver mane.

?Ah,? Haer nodded. ?You are afraid that she?ll snap your neck when she?s through with you like those spider bitches you are in the habit of. Well, rest easy, friend. She?s no spider. She?s something else.?

?Yes, but what?? Sola lifted his tunic off of the rock and examined it for bloodstains. ?That is what troubles me. I understood the intentions of the matriarchs. When their daggers came for me, I expected it. Yet, I know not what strange forces rule inside Cas?ira, and I cannot keep myself from thinking that whatever it is??

?You too, eh?? Haer arched a knowing eyebrow at his brooding companion. ?I get that feeling, myself. In truth, I think she has the touch of a bad-blood in her.?

?Bad-blood?? Solaufein?s gold eyes flashed with fixed interest.

?Aye,? the tiefling?s face took on a serious edge. ?Back in Sigil, we have a word for the fiends. Real fiends, mind you. The kind that can do things to you that? well, like what happened to Kelsey. We call them bad-bloods.?

?I do not think Cas?ira is a fiend,? Sola spoke quietly as he dressed.

?Maybe she doesn?t either,? he stood and stretched, groaning loudly. ?But she?s got a dark in her. That?s to be certain.?

Solaufein stared pensively out across the shore of the stream into the thick woods. A bird flitted among the branches, chirping angrily at the two men for disturbing its privacy. He knew that every creature had a secret, private space that it will instinctively protect from trespassers. He had his own, after all. But Cas?ira was no sparrow, and he wondered what would happen to him if he wandered too deeply into the forest of her soul. The thought disturbed him more than he would ever admit.

?We should rest,? Solaufein said as he glanced at Haer?dalis, who was already lying on his side on top of his cloak.

?Aye,? the tiefling yawned and rolled onto his back. ?I?m as tired as a whore on Sunday. Roust me if you wake before me.?

Solaufein nodded, and stretched out on the grass with his arms folded beneath his head. He brooded at the cobalt sky and thought to himself that he?d never get used to having no ceiling above him. The sky was so vast that it made him dizzy with vertigo. He shut his eyes against the spinning sensation and tried to will himself to sleep.

But his thoughts kept wandering disobediently around Cas?ira. She was a good leader and a cunning combatant, always with a ken for the initiative. But there was something restrained about her that she closely guarded, even in battle. Something that seemed conspicuously evil when it did flirt with the surface of her eyes. Something isolated from her otherwise amiable heart. Something perhaps, as Haer?dalis suggested, even she didn?t know.

He still had difficulty getting accustomed to looking Cas?ira in the eye; such a sign of disrespect would have brought him a swift death among the matrons. But, Cas?ira did not interpret it as such. On the contrary, she told him that she expected his direct gaze in order to be sure of his allegiance. At first, he?d had to force himself to not look away, and at times, this was nearly impossible for him. He didn?t understand why she would ask for such a counter-intuitive testimony of his loyalty.

But as he began to overcome this instinct, he found that much was revealed in the eyes of a woman if you looked carefully. Now he suspected this was exactly why the matrons forbade it. At first, he?d seen only intensity and focus in Cas?ira?s violet eyes. Then, as he grew to know her better, he saw the pain and bitterness. More recently, and to his unnerving surprise, he saw fear. A familiar fear that struck a chord of eerie acquaintance in his heart. It was the same look Phaere had in her crimson eyes just before the Matron Mother seized and banished her to the pits to be ?reconditioned?.

Cas?ira reminded him a great deal of Phaere. Like his erstwhile lover, her will was strong, and this he respected more than anything. It was why he followed her. Had she been drow, he would have gladly dropped his sword and submitted to being her patron, knowing that it would bring his death, but not before he served her with pride and vigor. Such was the pull of her power over him.

Still, everyone had their weakness. It was only a matter of patience or foolishness until it was revealed. Even the youngest drow knew this. Solaufein hoped, for his sake, that when he discovered Cas?ira?s vulnerability, it would not make him a fool for doing so. Or worse.

Edited by thinkinc, 15 August 2004 - 03:38 PM.

[thinkinc]

She seemed hazy and somehow different, but Sola knew it was Phaere.  There was something in her proximity that made every cell in his body pivot on the axis of her essence, even in his dream.  She didn?t have to look at him or touch him.  That is what made it so powerful when she did.

He felt bound in his own skin, his muscles tightening like a cat before the pounce, or its prey before the flight.  There was something both predatory and apprehensive in their chemistry.  It produced tacit but violent explosions between them.  How he longed to dominate her, and yet, she was as unknowable and remote as the moon.  Her will pulled at his heart like a tide.  In so many ways, he had no choice but to submit to it.

He felt her moving behind him, slinking up like a serpentine ghost.  Her voice was distant.

?What are you doing?? she peered over his shoulder and he felt her breath stir against his cheek.  Solaufein did not follow his heart to glance at her; instead he remained focused on his task.

?Cleaning my sword,? he replied.  He pulled the rothe-skin chamois slowly and deliberately down the blade, smoothing oil into the finely crafted dark metal.  It seemed as though he?d been trying to clean the blood off of it for hours, but still the crimson stain remained as though it were forged into the blade itself.

?Come with me,? she stroked the back of his neck with her cool fingers.  He shivered.  She laughed.  ?I want you to see something.?

He set down his sword carefully on the table, meticulously replacing the stopper on his oil bottle and laying the chamois aside.  He heard her sharp footfalls on the floor as she walked across the room behind him.  When she paused, he turned to look at the floor beneath her feet in respectful submission.  In his peripheral vision, he saw that she had her left hand resting on her hip, the other dangling languidly along the curve of her body.  It was a pose she assumed when she wanted him.  Exquisitly female.  Incredibly powerful.

He started toward her, but as he did the room that had been his quarters seemed now odd and unfamiliar.  The shadows shifted with a subtle life of their own.  The fairy light that illuminated the walls seemed to ripple and writhe.  The details of his surrounds focused on her commanding form, though now as he tried to look at her, she was indistinct.  When he?d come within arm?s length of her, he stopped, waiting.

?Look at what I have,? she casually reached into her bodice and produced a small, unfinished copper box.  It was plain, but for an inscription on the top that read What I Have.  She held it cradled in her palms as if it were a small, frightened animal.

?What is it?? he dared to ask after staring at it for a long moment.

?It is what I have,? she answered.  He could not tell if she was mocking him.  ?Look inside.?

She lifted the hinged lid of the box and gestured to him with a conspiratorial expression playing across her face.  He hesitated, unsure if this was some manner of freshly thought up torment for him.  Phaere was fond of cruel pranks.  But before he could make up his mind, she thrust the box out to him and he immediately felt compelled to look inside.

?Do you see?? she asked, her voice fading behind the growing noise of rushing liquid.  The box was filled with utter void ? a nothingness that sucked at him, a blackness without end, a cavern without light.  The room seemed to warp around the locus of the box and its abyss.  He felt himself falling into it.  Phaere?s hollow laughter followed him into the dark.

The liquid was all around him, filling his lungs and crushing him under the pressure.  Yet he did not float, instead he fell as if he?d leapt from a precipice.  He tumbled down, without direction for what seemed like a lifetime, his heart slamming in his chest like a wild thing.

Gradually, the liquid seemed to thin and his descent accelerated.  He was falling toward a dim light that grew more intense as he fell closer to it.  It was red and angry, pulsating with the ferocious rhythm of his heart.  The sounds of chanting voices rose from the light, though he could not understand what they said.  He clawed desperately at the space around him, frantic to stop his plunge, but his hands found no purchase in the slippery fluid.

As the crimson glare began to overtake him, he opened his mouth to scream.

Haer?dalis was shaking him.  Solaufein sat up abruptly, gasping sharply.  He was soaked with sweat, and for a moment, thought that he had carried his dream into a waking reality.  The tiefling looked like some otherworldly devil shrouded in the darkness of the night, the moonlight carving out the planes of his face in stark silver.  Solaufein pushed himself backward, tearing at the grass beneath him.

?Are you alright?? Haer?dalis sat back on his heels, unsure of what assailed his companion.  Solaufein heaved for air, feeling his chest with his hand to be sure it was still there.  Little by little, his heartbeat returned to normal.

?Yes,? his voice was hoarse.  He cleared his throat and wiped his hand over his perspiration-drenched face, then stared at it to be sure it was sweat and not something more sinister.  ?I am fine.  A dream?? he trailed off, glancing around him at the forest which looked monochromatic and alien now.

?Looks like more than that,? the tiefling pushed himself to his feet and stared at the drow, who was still not yet composed.  Solaufein drew his knees up to his chest and wrapped his arms around his legs, resting his forehead on them.

?No,? he spoke into the hollow of his lap.  ?It was just a dream.?

?I never can decide if I?m envious of that,? Haer?dalis sighed as he sat on the ground beside Sola.  ?I don?t have dreams, you see.?

?Then you are fortunate,? Sola lifted his head and looked out at the stream.  The water looked black like the liquid in his nightmare.  He shuddered.

?I don?t know,? Haer?dalis leaned back on his elbows.  ?I wonder what that must be like to escape to your own private fantasy. I don?t know why planars can?t dream, but I think that?s the reason I?ve always been fascinated by the arts.  It?s the closest I can get to dreaming.?

?Would that I could have your troubles, abbil,? the drow smiled thinly.  Haer?dalis chuckled and thumped him reassuringly on the back.

?Well, you?re awake now,? he grinned.  ?I?ve heard tell that some berks can control their dreams.  Maybe you should try that.  Dream yourself up some buxom dark-hued maiden who can curl your toes.?

?My dreams seem to drag me along behind them,? he grimaced, rubbing his temples with his fingers.  ?How long have we been here??

?I don?t know,? Haer shrugged.  ?To guess by the moon, we probably have another four or five hours before sunrise.?

?I should go now,? he stretched his neck and began to stand.  ?Before it gets light.  It will be easier to stay concealed.?

?How long should I wait here??

?It is as I said.  I shall return before the next moonrise,? Solaufein unsheathed his sword and stared at it, watching the moonlight glint sharply off of the black blade.  He ran his finger gently over the edge.

?And if you don?t return??  Haer had been waiting to ask Sola that question.  But the right time hadn?t come, and so he decided to seize the moment.  ?I was thinking I should head back to Athkatla after a day or two.  I don?t think I was recognized.  I?m not quite as?uh?memorable as you.?

?I shall return,? Sola slid his sword back into the sheath and slung it over his shoulder. His face set with a grave determination.  ?By stealth or by sword, I will be here when the morrow?s night falls, abbil.  The rivven will not overtake me.?

?I see,? Haer?dalis arched an eyebrow at Sola, not in doubt, but in wonder at the depth of the drow?s unemotional resolve.  ?I will wait here, then.  But should the gods intervene and you find yourself?ah? delayed, I will be at the Five Flagons.  You remember where that is??

?Yes,? he nodded.  ?Nevertheless, I will return.?

?Alright, cutter,? Haer shrugged and leaned back on the grass, twirling a leaf between his long fingers.  ?You?re as barmy as a Spire god, aren?t you, blood?  Well, I wish you luck, then.?

?Luck,? Solaufein muttered solemnly, shaking his head as he paced away to find a clearing for his incantation. ?I wonder if that means the same thing to you as it does to me.?

?Why?,? Haer was confused, but curious.

?Among my people,? he turned and gave the tiefling a cast-iron glare.  ?Ap?zen? ?Luck? is something that keeps an idiot from a deserved death.?

?Then what do you hope for a friend??  He smiled softly at Solaufein.

?Boron,? he replied.  ?Plynn l?boron.  Seize the advantage.?

?Well,? Haer?dalis watched as the drow began his incantation.  ?Plynn l?boron.  And seize a set of harp strings too, if you happen upon any.?

Solaufein was already too involved in his magic to hear Haer?dalis? droll reply.  As he shifted into the Border Ethereal, the world phased into a dense mist around him.  He would have only a few moments to find his bearings and his destination before he became disoriented in the murky, swirling realm between the Prime Material and the Elemental.  Keeping his focus required his entire concentration, lest he find himself stranded in the wasteland of the Deep Ethereal.

Haer?dalis continued to watch the spot where Solaufein had just stood, wondering to himself whether the drow had any real sensibility for the nature of chaos.  He knew that ultimately, no amount of advantage would bring a person ahead of the zero-sum game that is existence.  In fact, the only thing that let a person temporarily evade the decay of Entropy was, indeed, luck.  So, he quietly wished his friend good fortune, but expected that he?d have to make his way to the Five Flagons alone, regardless of Solaufein?s assurances.

Edited by thinkinc, 15 August 2004 - 03:57 PM.

[thinkinc]

Anomen?s leg bobbed up and down nervously as he sat on the hard stone pew outside of the temple?s sanatorium, waiting for word on Cas?ira?s condition.  His arms and shoulders still protested agonizingly against the strain of carrying Cas?ira?s limp body wrapped in his cloak as he rode on his horse like a madman through the streets.  He could have taken her to Waukeen?s temple as it was practically next door to the Mithrest, but he did not trust a dead god to care for her.  And so he?d ridden all the way to the Temple District to seek out the capable ministrations of the Helmites.

The smells were warm and familiar here.  The scent of burning candles and the pungent ritual incense enveloped him like a blanket.  This comforting reassurance of his old stomping ground was the only thing that kept him from disregarding the templemaster?s demand that he remain outside while they treated her.  Had it been anyone but a Helmite, he would have brushed them aside to stand by her.  But now he felt the ever-watchful eye of Helm on him, and it gave him strength and succor.  It always had.

He?d been baptized here, and as a boy he?d spent nearly every spare moment he could steal away from his father to haunt these hallowed vestibules.  It was, in fact, in this very pew during a service where he?d made up his mind to become a holy paladin for the Order.  He stared at the pulpit, remembering.

He?d been perhaps seven or eight.  His mother was sitting beside him, as she always did, holding his hand as they listened to the sermon.  The priest announced that they would have a special visitor that day ? a paladin from the ranks of the Order, fresh from the battlefield ? who would speak to them about the importance of virtue and honor.  He could still recall how his heart had fluttered in awe as the man stepped forward to speak.

The paladin had seemed as tall as a giant to a young boy?s eyes, his polished armor gleaming with a celestial aura.  The priest was dwarfed by his presence, but more than that, the paladin possessed a natural air of complete authority, as if Helm Himself stood before the congregation.  His face was worn with the creases of time and scars of battle, but his eyes burned with a passion for virtue that made other men aspire to be greater.

It surely inspired Anomen that day.  In a deep, commanding voice, the paladin spoke of the significance of their current campaign against the dark forces of Cyric, and how everyone plays an important role by fighting the subtle daily temptations of evil in their homes and families.  This struck a chord with Anomen, for even at his young age, he was already painfully aware of his father?s proclivity for drinking and the wickedness that permeated through the family because of it.

His mother was a beautiful, compassionate, well-bred noblewoman with a soft touch and a softer heart, and for as long as he could remember, he?d loved her more than life itself.  But, for equally long, he?d hated his father. Moreover, he hated himself for cowering in his bedchamber as she endured his father?s drunken rages, and occasionally, his beatings.  

On the mornings after Lord Cor's fits - those still mornings where pain and regret hung heavily in the air - Anomen would listen furtively on the other side of their bedroom door as his father groveled his pathetic apologies to her.  He listened, hoping that this time, she would refuse him; that she would take Anomen away from the Delryn house and they could escape together forever.  But every time she forgave, and his disappointment slowly blackened his young impressionable heart.

Eventually, he decided that his mother was too gentle a soul to defend herself, and so he resolved to protect her.  It was a gallant intention, but one that would ultimately shatter his already tenuous grip on his childhood.  He?d been but a boy, yet his hatred and bitterness was enough to poison his judgment, and he never  forgave himself for what would happen because of it.  His eyes glazed over as he allowed himself to recollect that fateful night.

Anomen and his mother had spent the evening making lemon scones, his favorite treat.  She even let him carve his initials on the tops of them with a paring knife before she baked them.  He?d felt so grown-up for being allowed to handle a knife, and his heart swelled with pride when she crooned over his work.  He?d been so inspired by it, that he set out to carve little hearts in the scones for his mother, knowing it would please her.

But before he could finish his task, his father came slamming through the front door, grousing loudly about his accountant?s incompetence, the weather, his footman and everything else in one jumbled string of curses and rantings.  His mother?s body instantly stiffened, and the climate of the room sharply fell into tense apprehension.  He?d felt the pit of his stomach clench in the familiar knot that was always there in his father?s presence.  Whatever appetite he?d had for his treat was immediately gone.

With frantic anxiety, he watched his father stomp through the kitchen, muttering angrily about how no one ever could be trusted to pull their weight, and how he was doomed to carry the burden for ungrateful fools.  His mother winced, giving Anomen a look that meant for him to keep quiet.  Not that he ever needed to be told.

With a huff, his father slammed open the wine cabinet, jerked out a random bottle and then reached up to fumble for a goblet from the shelf.  But, it slipped from his clumsy grip and shattered on the counter, sending shards of crystal in every direction.  Anomen and his mother both jumped, wondering what his father would do in reaction to his own blunder.  It only took a moment for the rage to descend.

?Damn it, Morella!? he railed, sweeping his hand across the counter.  His rash gesture sent the remains of the broken glass clattering to the floor.  ?I told you not to put the goblets where I can?t reach them!?

She flinched and immediately moved to clean up his mess.  Anomen froze where he was, too scared to even breathe. His hands were sweating and his heart pounded in his ears.  He wanted to duck under the table and scurry away, but willed himself instead to stay, if only so his mother wouldn?t have to endure the tirade alone.

?I?m sorry, darling,? she almost whispered.  ?I?ll get you a drink.  Why don?t you sit down and relax??

?Look at this!? he held up his hand in front of her face.  She tried to avoid it, focusing instead on picking up the pieces of crystal.  But he abruptly grabbed her by the hair and jerked her head upward with a sharp yank.  She yelped and then stared at his hand, which was bleeding liberally.  He?d cut it on the smashed crystal in his careless fury.  ?Look at what you made me do!?

?I?m sorry,? she whimpered, tears gathering in her eyes.  Her face was growing red and contorted under the strain of his painful grip.  His father looked at her with utter disgust and scorn.

?I know you?re sorry,? his voice rose up to a high falsetto, mocking her.  ?You?re always sorry, but you never learn, dammit!  I?d say you?re as dumb as a dog, but at least a dog learns if you beat it enough!?

He raised his bloody hand, threatening to strike her, but hesitated when she brought her arms up to shield her face and started pleading wildly with him.

?P-please, Cor?? she mewled pathetically, her chest wracking with sobs.  ?D-don?t? Not in front of Anomen??

Anomen?s heart stopped, for until now his father hadn?t seemed to notice him.  But as his father turned and sliced him through with a look of absolute contempt, he felt certain that his chest would implode from fear.  Finding a new target for his wrath, Cor gave his mother a cruel shove, pushing her to the floor and forcing her to land on her hands on the broken shards.  She ignored the obvious pain and scrambled to her feet, desperate to stop his father from coming after him.

But Anomen was ready.  He?d been gripping the paring knife in his boyish fist beneath the table.  Initially, he?d hid it because he was afraid that his father would get upset with his mother for allowing him to use a ?woman?s tool? for making ?sissy-girl things?.  But now that his father came toward him with a murderous glare in his eye, Anomen instinctively knew that a blade had no gender ? it would gut a man, all the same.

When Cor lunged for him, Anomen ducked, using his chair as a barricade.  In his drunkenness, Cor lost his balance and went toppling haphazardly over the chair to sprawl awkwardly on the floor, emitting a string of vile curses as he landed with a thud.  As he attempted to struggle to his feet, he roared a vow to beat Anomen until he was no longer recognizable as his own rotten bastard child.

As if he?d trained all his life for this moment ? and perhaps he had ? Anomen seized the opportunity, lifting the chair and slamming it into Cor?s ribs with all his strength.  His father shrieked in shock and pain, and tried to roll to his side, but Anomen pounced on him like a feral kobold.

So long as he lived, Anomen would never, ever forget the look in his father?s eyes as he held the blade of the knife to his throat, pressing it so deeply that it brought blood welling up around the edges.  For the first time, he realized that terrible Lord Cor Delryn was capable of feeling fear, and indeed? fear of him!  He didn?t remember grinning, though his mother told him later that he?d smiled like a hungry wolf as he threatened his father.

?If you ever,? Anomen growled inasmuch as his boy?s throat would let him.  ?Hurt mother again, I swear by the eyes of Helm that I will cut out your heart while you sleep and feed it to the hounds.?

His father blanched and stared at him, too astonished and terrified to reply.  For some perverse reason, his weakness enraged Anomen ? perhaps it was the humiliating realization that he?d been living beneath the tyranny of a coward all this time ? and so he dug the knife deeper, tempted to finish the job and bleed the bastard there on the kitchen floor.  He might have, if his mother hadn?t intervened.

?Don?t do it, son,? she reached for him, her voice quavering pitifully.  ?He?s your father!?

?It?s alright, mother,? Anomen?s eyes never left Cor?s.  ?No one will blame you.  I will turn myself in to the guards.  Then you?ll be free of him.?

?Anomen, stop!? she came running up behind him and snatched him bodily off of his father, who was now very pale and shaking.  He allowed his mother to pull him away, but almost immediately regretted it.  As she left him standing there ? a child holding a knife stained with his own father?s blood ? and rushed to Cor?s side crooning apologies for their wayward son, he felt a truly black bitterness overtake a part of his soul.  He was abandoned, empty, futile and betrayed by the first woman he?d ever loved.

However, after that night, Cor never did lay another hand on his mother.  At least not in his presence.  But he spent the next several years exacting his revenge by systematically undermining everything else that Anomen held dear.  

When he wanted to learn swordplay, his father forbade him to keep a blade in the house.  When he wanted to learn to ride, he told him that he?d have to come up with his own money to buy a horse and lessons.  He?d only allowed Anomen to visit the Order because it kept him out of the house.  Anomen suspected that he?d used that opportunity to punish his mother for what he?d done, because it wasn?t long afterward that she died.

The doctors assured him that it was some kind of problem that she?d had since she was a girl, but privately, he would always believe that she died of a broken heart, and Anomen felt responsible.  He knew that night that he?d ceased to be her little boy and become something else, for she never could bring herself to look him in the eye after that.  He?d failed her, and it broke her heart.  But it was Cor who had driven him to it.

And it was Cor who drove him to join the Order, though it seemed that he tried to sabotage Anomen?s advancement at every turn.  If it hadn?t been for the kindness of Sir Ryan Trawl ? the shining paladin he?d seen that auspicious day in the Temple ? Anomen might have never been able to join the Order at all.  His father?s stern refusal to sponsor him, under the ruse that Anomen?s incompetence would inevitably tarnish the family name, nearly drove Anomen to contemplate murdering him again.  As head of the Delryn Estate, he?d be able to sponsor himself? but, of course, the Order wouldn?t have him then.

He was about to resign to his quandary when Ryan offered to sponsor Anomen himself.  Anomen had always assumed that it was because Ryan saw his innate potential to become a great paladin.  But, in truth, Ryan made the decision partly out of pity for the troubled boy, but mostly because he was afraid that if Anomen did not find guidance for his rage, there was no telling how dangerous he could become as he grew into manhood.  He was so passionate about joining the Order; perhaps Helm?s watchful guardianship was exactly what he needed to strengthen his virtues.

Of course, Ryan knew nothing about Anomen?s childhood attempt to slay his father, and if he had, he would have certainly never offered to sponsor him.  In fact, no one knew about that incident, save for Anomen and his father, and he was fairly sure that Cor would never say anything about it, if only to save himself the humiliation of having to admit to being bested by a boy and his own vices.

Somewhere in his heart, Anomen knew that keeping this matter from the Order?s judgment was a lie, but he?d always hoped it was a lie he could leave behind him.  The day he was accepted into the Order, he vowed to prove that Cor?s taint had not hindered his own morality.  After all, he told himself constantly, he?d been just a boy.  Surely Helm would forgive him for his youthful mistakes and not hold him to blame for his father?s failings.  But it was a daily struggle, and though he tried hard to appear the model of virtue, deep down his insecurity tore at his heart.

It nagged at him now as he fidgeted restlessly in the temple while he waited impatiently for someone to return with a report on Cas?ira?s health.  She hadn?t looked injured from what Anomen could tell, but clearly whatever had razed Kelsey possessed enough evil to debilitate her, for she?d remained unconscious the entire way to the Temple.  She?d only roused once when he laid her down so the priests could examine her, and even then, just long enough to call out for her mother.  Then she?d slipped back into the darkness and didn?t wake even when they moved her to the sanatorium.

It had ripped at Anomen?s guts to see her like that.  She looked so vulnerable and frail, her half-elven form laid weak and drained on the marble healer?s table, and there was nothing he could do for her.  During the ride, he?d tried to use a healing potion on her, but it did not seem to help.  It had given him the same frenetic panicky feeling he?d had when his mother began to fall victim to her mysterious ailment, which stole away her life little by little until it was gone.  He was determined not to lose Cas?ira like that.

When he joined her that day in the Copper Coronet, it had at first been purely for personal reasons.  Those Calimshite villains were hunting her, and he needed evil to vanquish in order to prove himself worthy of Helm?s favor, not to mention coin to support the expenses of training since his father had cut him off financially.  It had seemed like an obviously valiant quest, at the time.  Save the girl from the bad men.  In retrospect, had he any idea of what had lie ahead of them, he might have turned her down in the beginning, for his honor and morality had since been put mightily to the test and he wasn?t entirely certain he?d made the right decisions.

However it hadn?t taken long for him to become attached to her in a way that made those doubts seem less pressing now.  It was more important to him that he remained true to his oath to defend her.  She was strong and capable, but there was a part of her that seemed wounded and defenseless and it reminded him poignantly of his mother.  Instinctively, he wanted to protect her, though as he?d spent more time with her, he often thought her greatest adversary was herself, and he did not know how to guard her from such a paradox.

But now she was hurt, and he was sure that if he?d been there ? if she hadn?t been alone with that incompetent weak-willed Kelsey ? this would not have happened.  Anomen suspected that Kelsey?s unmanageable outbursts of magic had finally gotten the best of him.  Obviously, the idiot had summoned up some creature or power that he could not control and it killed him, which was, in Anomen?s opinion, a fool?s reward for toying with sorcery so irresponsibly.  But he would have ended Kelsey?s pathetic life himself if he?d thought that his reckless magic would have ever hurt Cas?ira this way.  He only wished that he could have been there to do it.

A baby squalled, breaking Anomen?s dark, worried thoughts.  He turned around and noticed that a few people had begun to arrive for the afternoon service.  Soon, a priest would come out and lead them in prayer and offer to hear their declarations of transgression so that Helm could be satisfied that they acknowledged His all-seeing eye.  He?d always had difficulty with that part of his faith, for he did not truly believe that another mortal could understand his heart the way Helm could.

?Anomen?? an elderly man in Helmite priest robes called quietly to him from the end of his pew.  It was Reverend Foregart, one of the Temple?s most respected physicians and a gifted sage, as well.  If he had been called, it meant something serious.  Anomen?s heart sank.

?Is Cas?ira well?? he immediately began to rise from his seat, but Foregart motioned for him to remain still.

?Yes,? he shuffled down the aisle to sit beside Anomen.  ?She will be just fine, my son.  She is sleeping now.?

?May I see her??

?No,? the priest patted Anomen with a gnarled, wrinkled hand.  ?She needs to rest to recover her strength.?

?I am so relieved,? Anomen sighed, his whole body slumping perceptibly.  ?Forgive me, but when I saw you, I thought the worst.?

?Well,? the old man?s eyes shifted anxiously.  ?There is a matter of some concern that I must speak with you about.?

?Yes?? his heart skipped.

?Where did you meet this girl??

?On the road back from my last campaign with the Order,? he answered cautiously, wondering where this would lead.  ?She was injured? I found her on the Tradeway riding from Calimport.  I stopped to assist? as is my duty as a paladin.?  

Anomen paused, looking to Foregart for reassurance.  The old man nodded impassively, and gestured for him to continue.

?Once she was well, she rode on,? Anomen cleared his throat, knowing that he was leaving out a number of details. ?We met up again here in the city.  Why??

?I see,? Foregart replied quietly, his thick white eyebrows gathering with concern at Anomen?s caginess.  ?The others have told me about today?s tragic incident.  But I want you to tell me what happened, in your own words.?

?As I told the other priests,? Anomen began apprehensively. ?I was not in the room when all of this occurred.  I believe Kelsey and Cas?ira had an argument.  Kelsey had been very angry? ranting and raving everyone.  She asked him to come upstairs, presumably so she could talk some sense into him.  They were alone for perhaps thirty minutes before I heard the noises and the scream??

?What kind of noises?? the old man asked.

?Crashes, as if there was a struggle,? he replied.  ?Then there was a scream? more of a howl, actually.  It was then that we ran upstairs.  The door was locked and we had to break it down.  We found Kelsey butchered and Cas?ira was lying unconscious on the floor.?

?What do you believe occurred?? Foregart stroked his long white beard as he studied Anomen.

?I think that Kelsey summoned something that killed him,? he answered flatly.

?Why would it have spared the girl, do you think??

?I am not sure,? Anomen paused for a moment, considering his answer.  ?She does wear a number of enchanted ornaments.  It occurred to me that perhaps one of them could have just by chance been imbued with the power to afford her some protection from whatever Kelsey summoned.  Or perhaps it simply had no interest in her.?

?That is possible,? he nodded.  ?Although we may never truly know.?

Anomen was suddenly uneasy with Foregart?s skeptical, reserved manner.  He frowned at the old man, wondering he knew that Anomen didn?t, but dared not disrespect the elder by pressing the matter.

?I have been told that this young man ? Kelsey, is it? ? did not have good control over his magic,? the priest continued.  ?This is your judgment??

?Oh yes, quite so,? Anomen nodded briskly.  ?Twice just since I?d met him, he nearly set himself on fire through sheer carelessness.  He had little self-discipline.?

?You don?t seem to think very much of him,? Foregart noted with just enough implication to set Anomen on edge.

?Well,? he began defensively.  ?His death was regretful, of course.  But I have difficulty bringing myself to respect someone as undisciplined as he was.  His magic was powerful, but he did not seem to value careful study, nor self-control.  Certainly you can see how this made him dangerous.?

?Why do you think Cas?ira would keep him in her company, knowing of this danger??

Anomen looked away, brooding.  He swallowed hard and sighed before he answered.  ?They were lovers,? he replied quietly.

?I see,? Foregart tilted his head to look carefully at Anomen as he replied, ?Love can indeed pollute one?s judgment.?

Anomen opened his mouth to agree, but the piercing look in Foregart?s stare caused the words to catch in his throat before he could speak.  Anomen thought that he saw an accusation behind the sage?s sharp gray eyes, but he couldn?t be certain.

?When will she be well enough to leave?? he asked instead.

?Yes,? Foregart began carefully.  ?That is that matter I wished to speak to you about.  It is the judgment of the priests that she should remain with us for the time being.  We strongly urge you to return to the Order, and leave her in our care.?

?What do you mean?? he stammered.  ?For how long??

?Anomen,? he gestured toward the holy symbol of Helm on Anomen?s breastplate.  ?At times like these, you must trust not your heart, but the wisdom of Helm.  Continue your training as a squire.  Follow that most admirable path of virtue.  This matter need no longer burden you.  You have done your duty to her, and it will certainly be noted during your Judgment.?

?Why do you say this to me?? Anomen?s voice raised a pitch.  He felt his heart constrict at the idea of leaving Cas?ira behind.  Surely, this couldn?t be Helm?s will to abandon her in her time of need.  ?What is wrong with her??

?We don?t know that, yet,? he answered evenly, unruffled by Anomen?s increasing tension.  ?She has not awoken long enough to answer our questions satisfactorily.  What little she has said so far has been unintelligible.  The only coherent answer we have gotten thus far is that she claims she has no memory of what transpired.?

?Maybe she doesn?t,? Anomen snapped curtly.  ?There is no telling what manner of black magic Kelsey inflicted upon her in his rage.?

?Perhaps.  Regardless, we must keep her in our protection until she can remember,? he replied.

?Your protection?? Anomen exclaimed.  ?Is she unsafe??

?The Athkatla Council will want to know exactly what happened, Anomen,? he patiently explained.  ?When the time comes, the investigators of this crime will not be so tolerant with her deficiency of memory.  It is important that she speaks to us first, so that we may aid her.?

?This is preposterous!? he nearly shouted.  When he noticed that people began to glance curiously at the unlikely sight of a Helmite paladin barking at a priest, he lowered his voice.  ?Father Foregart, I am willing to testify in her defense.  I traveled many miles and fought countless battles alongside Cas?ira, and I know she is not capable of murdering Kelsey.  Even if she was, she certainly couldn?t have butchered him in such a vile way in so a short period of time.  Surely my credibility with the Order will help her.?

?You misunderstand, Anomen,? Foregart shook his head gravely.  ?I feared you would insist upon something like this.?

?What do you mean??

?Still your arrogance bedevils you?It is not your credibility to tender on her behalf,? he answered.  ?You are not permitted to use your position with the Order in her defense.?

?What!? he barked incredulously.  ?Why not?  Is it not the mission of the Order to protect those in need??

?Calm down,? Foregart?s shushed him.  ?Not in this specific case.  The Order has already decided this.  You must accept our decision.  You are allowing your feelings for this girl to corrupt your wisdom, and of course, we understand that? you being still a young man.  But the truth is that you do not truly know what happened, and in a matter so violent and evil as this, we must take every precaution.?

?Cas?ira did not kill Kelsey,? Anomen retorted stubbornly.  ?I find it outrageous that the Order would even consider her responsible for this, regardless of my feelings for her ? which, by the way, you have grossly overestimated ? when it is so obvious that such carnage is beyond a woman of her build and capability.  She loved Kelsey? more than I thought was reasonable, at times?and I know that her heart is pure.  I cannot stand by idly while the Order allows her to be persecuted!?

?No one is persecuting her, my son,? Foregart began to rise slowly from the pew and regarded Anomen with a weary expression.  ?No one has accused her of anything.  But the fact remains that she must be accountable for whatever did happen, if only so that we may lay this matter to rest.?

Anomen started to argue, but Foregart held up his hand to quiet him, ?You should return to the Order and get some rest yourself.  I realize that you are tired and you?ve spent the past several hours waiting anxiously.  You are a good man, and I know you want what is best for her.  This will make more sense to you once you?ve had a chance to think it through.?

Anomen stood up abruptly.  ?Father Foregart??

?Yes?? he sighed.

?How long will it be before I may see her??  he stepped toward the old man, his face a mask of torment and pleading.

?Return to the Order,? he replied firmly.  ?I will send for you when she is ready.  We will take care of her, Anomen.  Know in your heart that with us, she will be safe.  Just as you were when you came to us in your time of trouble.?

That brought Anomen up short.  He flinched with guilty memories.  The Order had taken him in when no one else would, and quite likely saved him from a life of bitterness and depravity.  He had much to be grateful for, and suddenly the impudence of his interrogation of the kindly priest seemed reprehensible in light of that.

?Forgive me, Father,? Anomen fell to one knee and took the edge of Foregart?s robe.  ?You are wise and righteous and I had no right to question the Order?s judgment.  You have been so kind to me these years, and I have repaid you with insolence.?

?Now, now,? he patted Anomen on the head like a child.  ?Don?t fret over that.  We all have our times of weakness.  That is why we must lean on the strength of the whole when it is too much for one man to bear.  You are strong and good, Anomen.  You will make a fine knight.  Go back to the Order, get some rest and pray for your friend.  Sir Ryan will be pleased to see you, I imagine.?

?Yes,? he nodded as he stood.  ?You are right, Father.  As always.?

But in his heart, Anomen knew that he would try to find any way he could to see Cas?ira, to speak with her about what had happened, even if it meant defying the Order.  He was sure that in this case, they were wrong about her, and he was determined to demonstrate that she was innocent of any blame for that idiot?s death, if only to prove that his honor hadn?t been misplaced with her.  He wasn?t sure that he could bear it otherwise.  And besides, he told himself, he?d made her a vow to protect her from harm, and he could not allow himself to fail for want of action.  Not this time.

Edited by thinkinc, 17 August 2004 - 10:32 PM.