Throne Wars III: The Circus of Chaos

Prologue

Following his destruction of Melissan in the Abyss, the cavalier Onyx ceded the throne of Bhaal and journeyed with his ally and true love Aerie to the avariel nation of Faenya-Dail to finally marry her. However, the madman Cyran waged war across Amn in an effort to seize the unclaimed throne, thus beginning the First Throne War, or the War of the Coin of Bhaal. Onyx, his companions, and his long-lost son, the young monk Kan, defeated Cyran's forces at de'Arnise Keep and Paradise. Kan then destroyed Cyran in mortal combat and ascended the throne.

Onyx and Aerie's son Eryx was soon born, and thereafter a daughter Sky as well, and despite the raising of their children they had many great adventures in the twenty years since. As the tide turned against evil, the new Prince of Demons, Decagorgon, allied demonkind with fiend-blooded tieflings and balance-seeking druids and waged the Second Throne War, the War of the Heart of Bhaal. Decagorgon and the risen Irenicus sought also to lure Onyx?s son Eryx into evil. Father and son slew Decagorgon but Irenicus then led the struggling Eryx to challenge his half-brother Kan for the throne. On the eve of his own fall, Eryx spared Kan and vanquished Irenicus instead.

In the two years since this war, Eryx has traveled the multiverse laying waste to demons while Onyx and friends keep evil in check in the Prime. Or so it seems. Sarevok has wrested control of the Black Network of the Zhentarim and is rebuilding its former terrible glory. Meanwhile, a mysterious circus, run by three mad bards, has just appeared and is sowing mayhem across the land...

I. The Battle of Ust Natha

Onyx was strolling through his garden. Suddenly a dimension door opened and a beholder appeared

?Hey, Spec!? grinned Onyx. ?Long time no see! But then, I?ve only got two eyes!?

?Oh, don?t even get me started man,? Spectator Beholder began. ?So you?re duking it out with that drow freak Sendai right, and I have to split. So anyway, I still hadn?t gotten anything to eat after guarding that chest for eons - hey, what was in that thing anyway? ? ?

?Ah, some key or a piece of a halberd,? Onyx muttered. ?You know, standard adventurer type stuff.?

?Yeah, I thought it was something lame like that. So anyway, I?m headed to the nearest hive, gonna get me some grub - don?t ask what we eat, trust me - and maybe check out the ladies, know what I?m saying, so - hey, things work out with that little elven chick??

?Oh yeah,? Onyx chuckled; flashing Spectator the feminine handkerchief he had tied around the arm of his armor. ?Two kids even. Still been getting out to dragon hunts and godhood-ascension wars and stuff now and then, though. Weekend warrior, like they say. Kids have even killed a lot of monsters themselves - uh, no offense. Pretty nice life.?

?Cool, cool, so anyway, that?s what I was about to get to. So I meet this one number, man what a sphere, I tell you. Big round eye-orbs, nice thin stalks - yeah, I know, it always comes back to that somehow, doesn?t it - I was talking to this old sahuagin pal and apparently - well anyway, she had the whole works. To believe it you?d really have to behold her - uh, no pun intended.?

?Sounds like love at first sight - er, sights.?

?Yeah, I was gazing so hard I practically disintegrated her - and I think she must have shot back a glance with a dire charm and a feeblemind or something, cuz pow! I was enchanted and I started babbling like a little gauth.?

?Don?t even get me started. When I first saw Aerie - back at that circus, you know - after the whole ogre-illusion wore off and I saw HER - I was like man, this has GOT to be just another of that gnome?s illusions! Either that or she?d just cast Friends on herself about a dozen times. So things work out??

?Oh yeah, we were telepathically chatting for like hours. Then this big old eye tyrant comes up and starts trying to stare me down, but he makes a pretty nice garden statue now, so I think it all worked out nicely.?

?Garden? So I take it??

?Yeah, a lot like this one - well, the plants in mine would probably eat you alive - but same idea. So yeah, I ended up moving in with her and it?s been pretty nice - but hey, let me just say you?re lucky elf-gals don?t lay eggs by the thousand.?

?So you?ve had your hands - er, whatever you use - full??

?Yeah, but there?s still time every now and then to go around cremating adventures - uh, no offense, I?ll watch out for your kids - or whatever. Sometimes though, late at night, I find myself just staying awake and guarding a treasure chest that isn?t there anymore, man, that stuff really haunts you??

Onyx nodded. ?Yeah, now and then, I find myself waking up for my guard shift?and I almost still hear the goblins and xvarts interrupting our camp?that little ?eeeeee? noise they make??

?Yeah. Well, I gotta split, but maybe we?ll meet up in a dungeon or something soon. If you?re ever leading an adventuring party into a hive to foil some diabolical plan or whatever it is you guys do, be sure to look me up.?

?Will do, Spec,? Onyx nodded as Spectator opened another dimension door and hopped through.

***

Somewhere in Faerun, In a town plaza, under a huge black and purple circus tent?

The stands were packed; virtually the entire town was there. But the three rings were deserted. Deserted save for one. A single tiefling, a bard, stood in the center of the middle ring. Haer?Dalis took a deep breath.

?Ladies and gentlemen, children of all ages! Dwarves, elves, gnomes, and creatures of all races! Welcome to the greatest show on Toril: the one, the only, the truly amazing Ciiiiiiircus of Chaaaaaaos!?

Suddenly he clapped his hands and smoke clouded the floor. As it cleared, from nowhere had emerged an eclectic crowd of tiefling rogues. Jesters juggled, cartwheeled, somersaulted, trapezed from the roof, and walked tightropes, some doing many of these ones at once. Blades and swashbucklers spun, swords flashing in mock swordfights with one another while skalds pranced around them singing of the epic scale of these battles. Other bards formed demihuman pyramids, dancing lines, and cavorted through the audience. Still others flew out of small catapults through the air, grabbing trapezes and the feet of already-swinging jesters. Long chains of them formed on the trapezes and tightropes, hanging hands-to-feet in demihuman ladders while swashbucklers climbed up these ladders and even had mock swordfights on them. The ladders swung into the audience and eyepatch-donning swashbucklers, daggers in their teeth, ran along them like they were gangplanks and ?boarded? the audience stands. Bounty hunters set off web traps and gymnasts fell from the air onto them, bouncing from one to the other or back up to the trapezes. Blades fenced each other on the tightropes, falling down and landing on the traps or other bards.

Bards cartwheeled through the audience, furtively picking the pockets of wealthy-looking townspeople as they went. The swashbucklers in the audience had hoisted maidens over their shoulders and carried them back up the demihuman-gangplanks, which then swung away from the audience and back into free-hanging ladders. The swashbucklers hauled their booty up to the trapeze platforms and tightropes and began tying them up. Trapezing bards grabbed them and swung them through the air while blades plopped them onto the tightropes and continued their dual-sword fencing on either side of the frightened captives.

The audience was roaring, except for a few of the maidens? unlucky parents and lovers, but all went silent when another chain reaction of smoke clouds went off. Now emerged all manner of monsters. Trolls, bugbears, griffons, manticores, displacer beasts, bears, otyughs, wyverns, umber hulks, mind flayers, and even young purple dragons. The beasts all had their fur or scales painted bright colors and the mind flayers were wearing clown suits that nearly disguised them. The audience gasped in fear but then broke into laughter and applause. The animals, led or ridden by tiefling rogues, began walking around the rings. Some were made to perform various stunts. The wyverns, dragons, griffons and manticores flew through the air, snatching up rogues and captives in their maw and setting them down in other places or tossing them to each other. Trolls began juggling and tossing their own body parts, the displacer beasts disappeared and reappeared, and rogues rode bears, bugbears and umber hulks around, some carrying lances and engaging in mock jousts. The mindflayer-clowns were juggling with their hands and tentacles. The otyughs went up and down the aisles cleaning up trash.

Haer?Dalis hopped on the largest baby dragon and spoke again. ?And now, the moment you?ve all been waiting for. Our masters of ceremonies. In the center ring, myself, yours truly, the blade for any maid, he delights as he fights, he spins as he wins, the very face of chaos and entropy, the one, the only, Haaaaaaaaer?Dalis!!!!!? He started dancing and spinning his swords around madly.

The audience roared and applauded. The umber hulks began to walk to the edges of the rings, facing the audience and forming a solid line of painted fur.

A puff of smoke in one of the side rings. A human bard appeared atop another dragon, shadow-fencing gracefully and winking or blowing kisses at ladies in the audience.

Haer?Dalis announced, ?And in the ring to by right, dazzling and carefree, check out that goatee, a most debonair rogue, he?s ever in vogue, the one, the only, Ellllllllldoth!?

The audience applauded and swooned as Eldoth continued to woo and dance. The mindflayer-clowns moved to the outside of the rings and got up on the umber hulks? shoulders, still juggling.

A puff of smoke in the other side ring. A jester appeared atop another dragon. He was juggling skulls and two katanas and laughing insanely.

?And in the ring to my left, there?s no bester jester, the master of disaster, he confuses and amuses, he distorts and cavorts, a profusion of illusion, the one, the only, Cyyyyyyrex!?

The audience laughed and clapped as Cyrex, who was painted black and purple, grabbed his two katanas out of the air and used them to slice the skulls in halves as they fell down around him.

The thieves on the floor and in the air kept running and swinging around while the bards quietly started preparing spells.

?And now, ladies and gentlemen, for our next act, may we have your attention please, as I tell you a tale. An epic tale, but a curious tale, one of cunning, deceit, and illusion?..?

Haer?Dalis continued rambling as he and the other two masters of ceremonies drew out harps. They began playing, and soon, just as the blade?s tale hit upon its opening plot twist, the three harps strummed a terribly dissonant chord.

At that cue, the umber hulks began to cast their enchanting gaze over the audience, causing magical confusion. As quickly, the mind flayers were emitting psionic rays and dominating the townsfolks? minds. The bards cast chaos spells into the stands.

The crowd went completely berserk. They started running and screaming and scrambling and throwing food and children. Those who ran into the rings were quickly devoured by the many monsters. Those two ran amidst the stands soon crashed into and began fighting each other, as shadowy assassins went through the crowd backstabbing them with poisoned daggers. Other people ran out of the tent and into the night, wreaking havoc across the town. After them out of the tent flew the purple dragons, breathing noxious laughing gas over the town, Haer?Dalis, Eldoth, and Cyrex astride the largest three and all laughing hysterically.

***

A retinue of Zhentil bodyguards escorted Sarevok, Viconia, Edwin, Xzar and Korgan down the tunnel. They were headed to the front of the battle they were waging in the Underdark, a battle for the conquest of Ust Natha.

Sarevok and Viconia had each been defeated but not slain in the Second Throne War, and met up soon after and, of course, had set to scheming since. The legendary warrior Sarevok had joined and quickly risen through the ranks of the Zhentarim. With the help of resurrected lackey Montaron, he had then assassinated the aging Lord Manshoon and framed it upon the second-in-command, thus deposing them both and himself become the Zhentil Lord. Meanwhile, the revived Korgan had done much the same in the Bloodaxe clan and become its chieftain. Needless to say, the drow-hating dwarves were most eager to join Sarevok is his siege of Ust Natha.

Gathering still more allies against the Lolth-worshipped bulk of the drow, Sarevok had then allied the Zhentil with the renegade Shar-worshipping drow cult that Viconia had become archpriestess of during this time. Despite desperately needing clerics after the death of Bane, the nonhuman-hating Zhentarim had been reluctant in this. Sarevok?s execution of the outspoken commanders soon relegated such complaints to barracks slurs and graffiti. After Viconia freed Edwin and Xzar from their phylacteries and restored them from lichhood, Sarevok hired them into the Zhentarim circle of elite mages. Xzar had been himself once been a Zhentil mage and agent, sent to investigate the Nashkel mines long ago. Edwin was however a Thayvian, although any conflicts arising from his Red Wizard affiliations had yet to surface. Needless to say, the presence of both powerful specialists caused much discreet speculation among the Black Network?s other top wizards.

In the twenty-two years since the First Throne War and Kan?s ascension, then Zhentarim had been struggling to maintain their iron grip upon Faerun as the paladins and rangers of Amn, Baldur?s Gate, and the Savage Frontier kept their open military at bay while Athkatla?s Chancellor Nalia and Chief Inspector Valygar had routed their underground trade-dominating operations. The former-Iron-Throne-master Sarevok now once again found himself helming an underground cartel and had skillfully been regaining men and funds for the Zhentarim. They were still not strong enough to launch an open invasion upon Faerun again, but Sarevok and Viconia yet had a trump card to play. The widely-awed and renown metallurgists of the Zhentarim had worked closely with the renegade drow weapons engineers and together they had very nearly perfected what had been sought in vain for centuries - an alloy of adamantium that could withstand direct sunlight.

But they needed sheer volume of raw materials to experiment and manufacture - and thus Sarevok and Viconia now led a Zhentarim-Sharite invasion into the Underdark. They were hoping to capture and hold Ust Natha and the surrounding mines, which were still largely untapped due to the inefficient, constant infighting of the drow. The militant, organized Zhentarim would be able to mine them must faster and quickly. If the alloy worked, they could have enough to outfit the entire array of their armies.

The Zhentarim were infamously adept at the close coordination of fighters, clerics, and mages. The fighters, heavily armored and magically enhanced and protected by the Sharite clerics and Zhentil wizards, had been making quick headway into the tunnels and chambers west of Ust Natha, outfighting the drow warriors and protected from the drow spellcasters. A Zhentil trooper at the front lines was nearly always found to be under the effects of infravision, haste, strength, protection from energy and various elements, rigid thinking, and defensive harmony, and as a result a nearly invincible and very destructive solider. The wizards and Sharite priests were even better magically protected themselves by spells and drow natural resistance. Physically protected by the impenetrable phalanx of fighters, they were easily able to stay just behind and keep up the front lines? enhancements as they were dispelled or wore off, generally not bothering to waste their energy on offensive spells against the magic-resisting drow. Viconia and her cult knew the tunnels well, and in addition to waging aggressive battles in the larger chambers, their forces had strategically gained and controlled the many bottlenecks and chokepoints throughout the caverns.

Now they had reached the southwest gate of Ust Natha, and Sarevok and Viconia were standing at the back of the last chamber. Wizards were casting various dispelling magics at the many wards and soon had them down. Then troops wheeled powerful battering rams through the Underdark and began pummeling the huge barred doors while thieves climbed around the edges picking apart the hinges and traps.

With a final thrust, the great doors gave way and fell inwards. Drow archers and mages behind them immediately began firing. The thieves were killed but the wizards had been protected from missiles and most of the magics. Edwin snickered and cast greasy oil and then incendiary clouds upon their own rams, setting them alight. At his words and hand movements, the rams then levitated slightly. As Edwin pushed the air, the rams flew forward, knocking the defenders into the pits on either side of the first bridge. They then exploding in massive fireballs which took out the rest of the drow on the first plaza-disc of Ust Natha. Sarevok gave a war cry and his forces went into full charge through the gates and into the city.

The hasted fighters quickly ran across bridges from plaza to plaza slicing apart the thick defenders or drew their bows and picked off the drow who were falling down upon them from the high ceiling of the underground city. Sharite clerics were healing and reenchanting their fighters while they engaged their brethren in unholy magical duels. Zhentil wizards stayed behind lines of armored forces and kept up their protections and enhancements as dispellings flew at them. With Viconia and her clerics, they were also summoning monsters over the heads of the enemy drow and the called beasts dropped into the defenders, clawing or slashing or eating them.

Drow mages and archers were firing down from the upper platforms of the city, but the same of the Zhentarim fired back, struggling to overcome the elevation disadvantage. The Zhentil magical defenses began to thin and drow evocations and enchantments flew into the attackers, taking out many of them. Soldiers screamed as they burned or froze, many running off the bridges on fire. Other soldiers became confused or charmed and began attacking their own comrades. Viconia began casting great earthquake spells at the ceiling over the drow forces, bringing down chunks of rock that flattened some and then shattered into flying shards which pierced many more. Though taking heavy losses themselves, the Zhentarim pressed forward, overwhelming the dark elves with numbers and matching them in skill.

Drow generals of different houses began bickering with each other and the defending chain of command started to crumble. The drow troops could hear conflicting orders and dissolved into every-elf-for-himself fighting. The disciplined Zhentarim phalanx now easily pushed them back and back. Drow soldiers, beginning to flee, pushed and shoved each other, sometimes into the pits, as they tried to make individual retreats.

Zhentarim were now invading the various buildings and homes of the city, attacking their residents and running up staircases to get onto the upper decks of the city. As they emerged, they hacked through the thinner drow fighters of the upper levels and then set about slashing through or pushing off the archers and spellcasters on the bridges. The Zhentil archers and spellcasters, close behind them, emerged and began raining down upon the fractured drow army below.

As a battalion of deserting drow began trying to unbar and open the east gate, Viconia cast another earthquake spell across the city and huge boulders fell in front of it, crushing the deserters and preventing escape for all others.

The drow, both military and civilians, were now rapidly diminishing in number as the Zhentarim pressed them into the back reaches of the city and continued to slay them with almost mechanical regularity. Finally the entire population of the city had been slain save for the nobles and archpriests holed up in the great temple of Lolth. The Zhentarim rolled more battering rams down to its front doors and began to pummel through them. As they broke through, a swarm of summoned spiders scurried out, devouring the ram operators. The Zhentarim began hacking them apart as some of them turned green and fell dead from poison. Edwin tried to magically push the rams into the temple again but the magicians within were pushing back. Finally, sweeping his arms to either side, Edwin sent the rams into the pits beside the temple gates and then Sarevok ordered his soldiers to charge in.

They soon met the best drow fighters in melee combat and were mostly taken down by them as the elite spellcasters within made short work of the rest. Sarevok commanded more of his own high-ranking soldiers and spellcasters to charge in along with some summons but the results were largely the same. Sarevok then uttered a special command to his elite group of mages. Along with Edwin and Xzar, they each donned an amulet of electricity reflection and then drew a wand of lightning in each hand. They formed a line outside the gate and, pointing the wands through the doors, began firing lightning bolts inside. They flew out of the wands one after another and bounced around inside the temple. Drow could be heard screaming when their magic resistance failed and bolts shot through them. Some bolts flew back out the doors but they reflected off the mages and back inside again. The smell of charred dark-elf began wafting out and several fleeing drow followed but who were quickly blasted away. Viconia licked her lips at the smell and drew some rations from her pack, eating and watching the show.

Finally the screams inside died away and the lightning bolts dissipated. Viconia, suspicious, instructed Xzar to divine within and he reported that two still lived inside. She exchanged mischievous grins with Sarevok and they clasped hands and walked inside. On the altar stood the high Lolthian priestess of Ust Natha behind her prime bodyguard. Viconia flashed the archpriestess a wicked smile as the elf recognized her. They each began casting as the bodyguard lunged down the stairs straight at Sarevok brandishing two scimitars. Sarevok swung his sword Soul Ravager up as the warrior fell upon him. The priestess exploded as Viconia brought a column of flames down upon her and the bodyguard flew through the air towards Sarevok. Sarevok ducked and held his sword high and the bodyguard?s scimitars both slashed air while his own body flew through Soul Ravager?s blade and landed on the ground in two halves. Viconia cackled triumphantly and gave the sword a lick and then planted a bloody kiss on Sarevok?s cheek. He chuckled and hoisted her up over his shoulder, heading back out as she flailed his back and screamed at him to walk faster.

II. Dance with a Demon

The circus was packed into strangely-shaped wagons and on the move. It was the Caravan of Chaos, riding west across Amn, nearing the sea. Haer?Dalis, Eldoth, and Cyrex were sitting in the most opulent wagon, lounging on pillows, consuming fine food and black lotus, attended to their Erinyes tiefling servant-slaves. They were listening to a skald spin a recreation of their tales.

?Twenty-and-two years hence by have gone
Since the First Throne War, for the Coin of Bhaal
When the arrogant Onyx, with bastard Kan,
Did topple mighty Cyran and lay waste to all.
He slew Haer?Dalis, a most charming blade
as the suave Eldoth fell to the oaf Minsc.
To the Abyss then were our heroic bards bade
Where they found it rather hot, and boring since
The demons are amused by a bard only when
He is on a torture rack and he screams, not sings.
A revolt did Haer?Dalis and Eldoth start then
Across several layers of the hells? nine rings.
With a roguish crew in tow from there
They are back to the Prime and the show must resume.
And the jester Cyrex, who is Cyran?s heir
Joins them to spread merry chaos ?cross Faerun!?

?Indeed,? mused Haer?Dalis, who was getting a massage and being fed grapes, ?it would seem these Primes need a little lightening up. I do believe they are quite amused by our antics thus far. Truly, I hope to strike the fancy of more. Particularly the fancy of a certain dove?.?

Cyrex was juggling and talking to five skulls, each of which had a black-and-purple-sun painted on its forehead. ?yes and next our rolling caravan does travel to the island town of Brynnlaw yes indeed" he babbled paradoxically.

At that moment the caravan, having reached the beach, stopped. Tieflings popped out of the wagons and began tinkering with them. Wheels retracted and the rogues started pushing the cars over the sand and into the water. Soon the curiously-shaped wagons were in the water and then the rogues within them pushed oars out of the windows and began to row them into an interlocking structure. The shape was, in fact, a ship. The hull formed from the tightly locking curved outer walls of the wagons, decks emerged due to their varying heights, and the straight segments of the three circus rings were assembled into masts and raised. Swashbucklers began climbing the masts with masses of rope and then leapt back onto the deck, pulling the ropes out into rigging. Then the great three-piece circus tent was hoisted up in the rigging, forming three sails, which caught the wind.

And finally the ship, Our Lady Entropy, set sail for Brynnlaw. With Haer?Dalis at the helm, Eldoth at the aft, Cyrex juggling his skulls in the crow?s nest, and the other rogues boozily singing a chantey, the flag was raised on the center mast. It was a white skull-and-crossbones superimposed on a black-and-purple sun.

***

Valygar and Nalia were standing in the strategy room of their mansion in the government district, poring over a large map of Amn. Small flags showed the recent movements of the Circus of Chaos. "It was here, then here, then here," Valygar mused, "and then, reaching the coast....it seemed to disappear, yet our spies knew of no ships moored there, nor nearby towns that could have housed an entire circus. It seemed to vanish."

Yoshimo burst into the room, panting and smelling of salt. After being reborn from wraithdom in the Second Throne War, he had been hired by General and Chief Inspector Valygar Corthala to be an undercover agent. Using his underworld connections and bounty hunter skills, he?d entrapped various outlaws and brought them to justice for Amn, a nation reformed under Chancellor Nalia Corthala that sought out true criminals while leaving unharassed mere street conjurers. Recently he'd been promoted to captain and been assigned a ship, the Bounty, and had tracked pirates and smugglers over the open ocean with a crew of rangers from The Sea Rangers Lodge, which had been established by General Valygar for just such coastal and maritime operations of justice.

"What news, good Captain Yoshimo?" Nalia inquired.

"My lady, my lord, it seems, according to our intelligence, that the Circus of Chaos has set sail over the ocean. The sea rangers patrolling the coast saw the caravan float out onto the water and form a ship - I know, I've never heard of such an engineering marvel." He showed them a sketch of Our Lady Entropy, and one of the flag.

"Why, it looks to be a superposition of a pirate jolly roger..." Valygar gasped at the flag.

"...And the Black Sun of Cyric!" Nalia exclaimed.

"The sea ranger patrol returned to Athkatla to deliver to me this news and thus did not follow them far, but the circus-pirates seemed to be making a direct course for Brynnlaw." Yoshimo explained.

"Curses, we'd never catch up to them," Valygar scowled. "Yoshimo, I want you to take a full crew of sea rangers and Cowled wizards aboard your ship and set course for Brynnlaw. Keep a wide lookout and, try to at least intercept them on their way back to the mainland. Leave immediately."

"Yes sir!" Yoshimo exclaimed, saluting and rushing back out the door. The bounty hunter had just been commissioned to set his biggest trap yet - apprehending the infamous Circus of Chaos on the high seas.

***

Our Lady Entropy was docked in the port of Brynnlaw and the Circus of Chaos was set up open-air in the middle of town. The grand show was in full swing, with rogues swinging and dashing about and monsters lumbering about the rings.

The masters of ceremonies were standing atop their dragons. Haer?Dalis was spinning his swords Chaos and Entropy about to the amazement of all, Eldoth was strumming his enchanting guitar as the ladies swooned, and Cyrex was juggling katanas and skulls and infants and causing townspeople to laugh uneasily.

?And now,? announced Haer?Dalis, ?please welcome a very special guest, quite a handsome devil, he?ll dance to your moans as he feasts on your bones, he?s one clever demon and you know he?s been schemin?, to this Prince of Tanar?ri be nice or be sorry, the one, the only, the truly unholy Taaaaaaaaana?Gorgon!!!!!!?

The three master bards cast a spell together and caused a large fiery gate to begin to open high over the middle ring. An extremely large demon stepped through and dropped onto the ground next to Haer?Dalis, looking at the audience and licking its fangs hungrily.

?Mmmmmm humanflesssssh,?: Tana?Gorgon hissed.

Just before the portal closed, two more figures, winged but humanoid, came through. Their wings and arms spread wide, they majestically drifted down from the closing portal and landed beside Tana?Gorgon and Haer?Dalis. They were Eryx and Luna, the avariel-human cavalier and the avariel-drow warrior-spellcaster.

?Ahhh,? hissed Tana?Gorgon, ?it issss the legendary Demonhunter and his Dark Angel! At lassst we meet! My unworthy minions desserved their deathsss and now I may have the delicccious honor of feasssting upon you myssself!!!!?

?Only my blades will you taste, foul monster!? roared Eryx, brandishing his bastard swords Foebane and Purifier, slayers of otherworldly evil.

?And your demon-elf clowns shall feel fires hotter than any in the Abyss!? screamed Luna as she clanged her shield and Moonmace together and magical energy began to swirl around her.

?Ah, I?m afraid the show must go on!? laughed Haer?Dalis and began to cast.

Luna flew into the air again and called evocations down into the three rings, scorching rogues who were trying to attack or cast. Eryx and Tana?Gorgon had began a furious melee fight, the knight?s enchanted swords and chainmailed wings clashing against the tough-skinned claws, fangs, tail and wings of the great demon chief.

The three master bards had drawn their harps to give the signal to their circus to start confusing and dominating the audience, but much of the town was already clambering to get out, relatively easy in the open-air circus. The bards cursed and commanded their monsters to start ravaging the town and the rogues to fight the intruders.

Haer?Dalis?s dragon started clawing at and breathing on Eryx, who parried its attacks with Purifier while still dueling Tana?Gorgon with Foebane, resisting the laughing-gas breath. Luna was now casting enchantments on the mass of rogues and they began attacking one another. Eldoth and Cyrex rode their dragons up into the air, coming at Luna from opposite sides, but she deftly swooped out of the way on her raven-like wings and the two beasts crashed into each other, the bards flying off their backs and into each other as well.

As the demon and the center dragon both lunged in to smother Eryx, he deftly pushed Foebane straight through Tana?Gorgon?s heart while slicing off the approaching dragon?s head with Purifier. The two great monster carcasses collapsed and Haer?Dalis leapt off the dragon in a mad midair somersault of blades. He came down upon Eryx and bastard and shortswords clanged against each other furiously. Haer?Dalis landed on his feet and the two began an intricate dance of swordplay. The powerful Eryx tried to knock his opponent back with strong blows and wing buffets, but the wily Haer?Dalis cartwheeled and rolled around and under the attacks, then stood his ground with blinding spins.

As Luna toasted off the two other dragons, Eldoth and Cyrex were on the ground untangling themselves from one another. They looked around and saw their fellow rogues hysterically fleeing Luna?s powerful spells and wisely decided to join them in a dash back to Our Lady Entropy.

As he continued to swordfight, Haer?Dalis looked around and saw his troupe abandoning him. ?You haven?t had the last laugh yet, Demonhunter!? he spat at Eryx. ?Spare this town from my sideshow, if you can!? With that he started a rapid series of backwards cartwheels and disappeared back down an alley, laughing gleefully.

Eryx and Luna started flying over the town slaying the monsters, who were hungrily chasing after townspeople and tearing into buildings. Meanwhile the rogues were all converging on Our Lady Entropy and hastily lifting anchor and setting sail for Athkatla under cover of the foggy night.

Cyrex laughed as they sailed off with their rogues. Huddling the jester and Eldoth, Haer?Dalis sang:
?And our force of monsters is slain, yet we are cheerful thus,
For we understand that it?s fated so, that all things come to dust,
Falling to chaos and entropy is how the universe will end, it must.?

***

In Ust Natha, the great temple of Lolth had been converted to a temple of Shar. Within, Viconia was performing a bloody sacrificial ceremony in front of her cult. Sarevok, Korgan and a few of their bodyguards stood at the back, chugging dwarven mead and watching with disgusted curiosity. Sarevok heard one of his men?s comments turn from the ceremony to the priestess herself, and without missing a swig he reached out and wordlessly broke the soldier?s neck. Gluttonously exercising his tyrannical power, sloshing back his rich mead, and eyeing his enchanting dark maiden, Sarevok mused on the pleasures of a mortal life. Surely being a tyrant lord was more enjoyable than being a god of murder. Yes, let another joker slouch on the Throne while he, Lord Sarevok, basked in earthly delights.

?Oh dark Shar, we thank thee for the rapid progress of our rightful reclamation of our world,? Viconia chanted in drow. ?We are most grateful that our worship and many sacrifices of infidels have pleased thee.?

The intelligent Sarevok grunted as he made out enough of Viconia?s drow words. He mused how that accursed harpy talked so much - all the time, no matter what she was doing - that he couldn?t but help have learn some drowish.

?It?s the muscle of my men we have to thank, sub-human witch!? he yelled in common.

?Ar,? spat Korgan in agreement, ?that thar be ninny dark-elfish hocus-pocus!?

Sarevok pushed open and marched out the front doors in a huff, his men following. Viconia spun and cast a curse at him but it hit the last bodyguard instead, causing him to drop dead instantly. Sarevok finished his flask and threw it at a passing worker as he walked back into the city. Soldiers and miners were going to and fro in a hurried but orderly fashion. The adamantium mining was proceeding rapidly and the non-renegade drow had yet to launch a counteroffensive. The Zhentarim held the tunnels almost halfway to the next drow city. The Black Network had for generations been infamously effective in using ?terror teams? consisting of small, cohesive units of fighters, clerics, and mages whose task was to wreak havoc and cause skirmishes in enemy territory, more as a distraction to keep the enemy on the defensive than to actually gain ground. It was working beautifully and the drow had, according to the extensive intelligence of the Network, been fortifying their own nearest cities rather than organizing a counteroffensive.

He walked to the Male Fighters? Society. His soldiers were training within, practicing with both their own and drow weapons. He walked up the stairs to the top story, which had been converted into an adamantium lab. Human and drow metallurgists were working side by side, muttering racial slurs back and forth as they debated and discussed. They all turned to look at Sarevok as he ascended the stairs and even the dark drow went deathly pale.

?How comes the work? Shall I need to test an experimental blade?.upon one of you?? he threatened. One of the scientists gulped and quickly handed Sarevok a two-handed sword. The mighty warrior took it and swung it around, cleaving through a chair or two.

?Marvelous craftsmanship, powerful and yet perfectly balanced?.for one weaker than myself!? he sneered and lopped off the head of the worker who?d handed it to him. ?But can it pass the real test??

He walked over to a table and laid it down. A drow cleric approached and cast a small sunray upon the blade. Nothing happened. ?Keep it up!? Sarevok yelled. ?Can?t have it disintegrating halfway through a battle!? The cleric kept casting, focusing the power of entire sunrays onto a small area. This went for minutes on end, the cleric struggling to maintain enough energy to keep casting while Sarevok?s sneer failed to soften.

At last Sarevok laid his hand upon it. ?Not even hot!? he exclaimed. Then he picked it up and pounded it against the stone wall, cutting into the wall and not even scratching the blade. ?Not even weakened!? Then he swung it at a non-adamantium sword mounted on a wall, easily breaking the ordinary steel weapon in two.

?It is done, and it is glorious!? he roared triumphantly. ?Redouble the mining efforts! Begin refining the ore and mass-producing weapons and armor immediately! This exact formula! Soon we shall outfit the entire force of the Zhentarim and sweep across the face off Faerun, unstoppable! Then I shall see the court jester sit in the Throne, and I will be the worldly Emperor of Murder!?

III. Hijinks on the High Seas

Haer?Dalis, Eldoth and Cyrex were sitting on reclining chairs on the ship?s deck, sunbathing in short trousers and smoky-quartz sunglasses while breathing in the pheromonal aromas of their profusely-sweating Erinyes tiefling servant-slaves, who were fanning them and feeding them otherworldly grapes and wines. Haer?Dalis?s demonic tiefling skin was starting to glow all sorts of strange colors in the natural sunlight, but he was ignoring it and ranting.

?These Primes are too lame, they just can?t play a game!
Onyx is the name on which rests this blame!
It?s all since, I claim, that Bhaalspawn-paladin came!
And now thanks to his fame, things just aren?t he same!
All are pious and tame, good and order their flame!
But I?ve a new clever aim, Athkatla?s minds will I maim!
And then I?ll steal and claim that knight?s angel-dame!?

Cyrex clapped his hands and two of his swashbucklers ran below deck and soon returned with a bound-and-gagged elven mage in a purple robe. ?before our Brynnlaw show Spellhold did I visit on the island only it is now Spellstudy that bleeding-heart Nalia converted in from a magic prison to a magic school yes but I did find one very interesting elf there an enchanter is he may help us sow the seeds of chaos yes it is Xan!?

One of the swashbucklers removed Xan?s gag. The gloomy enchanter sputtered and coughed. ?Oh, I?m doomed, I know they wouldn?t let me stay a Spellstudy professor forever!? he moaned.

Eldoth smirked wryly and walked up to the elf. ?It?s what you make it, dear friend. We require but a simple task and then shall you be free in the Realms once more. We can ever arrange certain?.comforts?.for your humble service. The job is simple. A trifle of magical research for such a great enchanter. All we need is a spell that can dazzle and amaze and bring merry chaos, one much like many you know, but with more?range. Say, the radius of a large city, mmmm??

?Oh no!? gasped Xan, ?What an awful thing! Oh, to doom the poor folks.?

?Doom, hardly, my over-dramatic friend,? Eldoth coaxed. ?We merely wish to?open their minds to the exciting possibilities of causing chaos and anarchy and fun! And if they happen to go on homicidal rampages, well hey, you can?t make a great ballad without a little angst, mm? Or?if you don?t see it that way?we could introduce you to Mr. Geas, he?s already in you and just waiting to come out and play!?

?I?m truly forsaken!? cried Xan. ?Woe is me. I suppose I will do as you ask.?

Eldoth smiled and led the enchanter to a nearby cabin where they?d set up a lab for him. The bearded bard then popped an olive into his smirking mouth as he walked back to his chair.

A short while later, a swashbuckler suddenly came sliding down the rigging.

?Masters! A ship! A ship approaches!?

With a flashy flick of his arm, Eldoth pulled an extremely long telescope out of his pants and looked in the direction the swashbuckler was pointing. Sure enough, a ship approached, a mere merchant vessel bearing the flag of one of the Amnish trading company.

?Grab thy cutlasses and man the spell-windows!? Eldoth yelled. ?'Tis booty to be had by all!?

The crew all knew what to do and were suddenly scurrying around and through the boat and up and down the rigging. The most magic-adept bards stood at the spell-windows below deck, reading to cast evocations at the enemy ship when it came within range. Rogues wheeled tiny catapults to the edge of the deck and loaded them with jars of flammable oil. Others stood along the decks with bows while swashbucklers armed themselves to the teeth - literally - with scimitars and daggers. Haer'Dalis was now looking through his spyglass at the other ship. On its helm, he saw another figure with a spyglass looking back. It seemed to be a smiling Kara-Turan with katanas and a bow over his back. He looked vaguely familiar?.

This man was, in fact, Captain Yoshimo. His ship the Bounty was disguised as a trading galleon but in fact its only cargo was Sea Rangers and Cowled wizards. Order members Sir Anomen Delryn and the honorary paladin Mazzy Fentan were among the warriors and the wizards were joined by Imoen and Jan.

Our Lady Entropy began to come alongside the Bounty, its few visible crew members innocently whistling, hiding their weapons and the catapults. Haer?Dalis stood in the middle of the deck strumming a harp. As he hit a dissonant chord, tiefling archers suddenly popped over the edge and began firing at the visible people on the Bounty. But the Amnish crew had been expecting this and quickly ducked. Haer?Dalis gave another order and his men began throwing grapples onto the other ship. They began pulling the ships together as gangplanks shot out from their deck to the other and swashbucklers began running across with blades and scraggly smiles.

Yoshimo gave the order and his own men began firing arrows at them, while the wizards below deck blasted fireballs out of their own spell-windows.

?'Tis a trap, a tragedy!? screamed Haer?Dalis and ordered his own bards to cast back, now willing to destroy the Bounty rather than try to claim its cargo intact. The two ships had been varnished carefully and the fireballs did not set fire to the outer hulls, although a few got through opposing windows and exploded inside.

"Mutiny on the Bounty! Charge, men!" Haer'Dalis screamed. Rogues were now running along the gangplanks to the Bounty in full force of even leaping from the rigging of their own ship, landing on the Bounty?s deck in hordes. Anomen, Mazzy, and the rangers were fighting them off, smashing and slashing them down or knocking them into the water. Imoen and Jan cast enchantments onto the deck of the other ship and the tiefling crew started running around madly, jumping into the water or attacking each other. Then the two thief-mages cast incendiary clouds up into the circus-tent sails and set them alight.

Haer?Dalis, Eldoth, and Cyrex screamed in anguish, with varying levels of sanity, and started casting fireballs back at the Bounty?s sails. As Cowled wizards put them out with ice storms, Imoen and Jan cast storms of comets and meteors into Our Lady Entropy?s hull, knocking holes in it and killing some of the rogues within. The ship began to take on water. But it was so close to the Bounty that the rogues were now simply leaping from the deck of one ship to the other or even popping out of their spell-windows and climbing up the Bounty?s hull with hand-over-hand dagger thrusts.

The rangers were taking out the rogues right and left but more and more came. Mazzy cut through her fellow demihumans with quick and true short-sword thrusts while Anomen with his mace smashed them to the deck or even batted them over the side of the ship. Imoen was pummeling and tearing open the back hull of Our Lady Entropy with energy blades while Jan fired flasher master bruiser mates through the hull with his crossbow. The circus ship began to upend, its aft sinking slowly into the water while its helm lifted out and pointed to the sky.

Yoshimo, recognizing Haer?Dalis, spied the master bards running into a cabin in the helm of their sinking ship and leapt from the Bounty, running up the diagonal deck after them and brandishing his katanas Hunter and Trapper. Some of his rangers followed him onto the deck of Our Lady Entropy.

"Free the slaves!" Yoshimo commanded, pointing to the shackled Erinyes tieflings with one of his katanas. The rangers ran up to them, expertly smashed open the cuffs without damaging the delicate wrists, necks, and ankles underneath, and carried the servants back to the Bounty?s safehold before themselves rejoining the melee to prevent tailing pirates from breaching the hold.

As Yoshimo neared the door the master bards had gone into, Cyrex sprang back out with his katanas Lies and Madness at the ready, singing a mushy ballad of some love lost on a sinking ship.

?Near, far, wherever you are?? he sang as he clashed weapons with Yoshimo. The two rogues fought one another as crates and tieflings slid by then on the steeply sloped deck. As it became too steep to stand on, Cyrex cartwheeled back through the air and landed on the main mast, which was now nearly horizontal. Yoshimo leapt down after him. The two engaged in a deadly bridge duel back and forth on the mast. Rigging rope was sliced by their flashing blades and fell all around them. They ducked and jumped to avoid incoming rigging, flying pieces of wood, and burning pieces of sails. The two fought fiercely and evenly, moving back and forth and even leaping on and off the mast using the ropes around them. Yoshimo tried to push Cyrex back but the jester cleverly feigned and dodged and would not yield. Then Cyrex did a backwards cartwheel and his feet flew up and kicked Yoshimo under the chin, sending the bounty hunter somersaulting back himself and nearly off the mast.

As Yoshimo fell onto the beam and gripped it tightly, Cyrex looked up and saw the doorway of the cabin open above him, the faces of Haer'Dalis, Eldoth, and Xan peering out. Yoshimo tried to get up but Eldoth had drawn his bow and shot a poisoned arrow down into the Kara-Turan?s back, causing him to moan and grip the mast tightly for dear life as he weakened. Cyrex fired magic missiles into the beam just below the crow?s nest, which then began to tear free and fall. Cyrex climbed in, working with the pirate flag. As the crow?s nest fell, the wind caught the flag and caused it to right itself. Just before it hit the water, Cyrex pulled a lever in the crow?s nest and three parallel hollow metal beam extended out of its base, nets stretching out between them, turning the nest into a getaway trimaran. As it splashed into the water and the three hollow beams held it afloat, Cyrex looked up.

Eldoth and Haer'Dalis were holding Xan, who was clutching a bag of spell components. The two bards gripped the wizard tightly and leapt out of the downward-pointed door. They fell from the helm, now high in the sky, and Eldoth and Haer'Dalis then sprouted parachutes bearing the skull-and-crossbones-on-a-black-and-purple-sun insignia.

?Next time we?ll set the trap, bounty hunter!? Eldoth sneered as they sailed past Yoshimo. The thief was getting up and quickly swigging an antidote as he watched the two bards float down with the wizard into Cyrex?s trimaran, too far away for him to jump to. Our Lady Entropy was now sinking down into the water. Yoshimo quickly cut a rigging rope and sheathed his katanas, and then held the rope with both hands. As the ship knifed into the water, he pushed off the horizontal mast and began to swing through the air on the rope, aiming for the deck the Bounty.

?Aaaaahhhahhahhahhahah!? he yelled like a jungle barbarian as he came around the side of Our Lady Entropy and over his own ship. He let go of the rope and fell through the air, drawing his katanas in midair and slicing down two rogues before he even landed on his feet on the deck of the Bounty. He and Anomen and Mazzy soon polished off the last of the pirates and Yoshimo looked back out to sea. The helm of Our Lady Entropy was disappearing beneath the waves, a statue of a tiefling mermaid grinning mischievously at him as it was swallowed by the ocean. Yoshimo saw the three master bards getting away with their captive wizard, their trimaran?s flag-sail catching the wind. The three were toasting with healing potions and laughing. They guzzled them, threw the bottles overboard, and then looked back at Yoshimo, making rather rude hand gestures. And then they all mooned him.

Haer?Dalis toasted his mates another round and quipped,
?And as all things must, do die our men and Our Lady Entropy.
And yet we only laugh and sing, we drink and are merry.
Death?s curtain must come down for all, such is life?s comedy.?

***

Valygar was at the Athkatla rangers' lodge. They were exchanging and discussing information pertaining to the now well-known Zhentarim conquest of Ust Natha. They were poring over maps of the surface world and the Underdark and trying to figure out Lord Sarevok's next move - would it be to push further into the Underdark, or would his Black Network spring from the ground like an army of ants?

Heads turned as a dark, hooded ranger with scimitars over his back strode into the room. "Drizzt!" Valygar exclaimed. "What news from the Underdark?"

The famous ranger threw back his hood to reveal his drow features. "As much as I hate sneaking back to the vile homeland of my race, I fear I have important news from there. It seems that Sarevok has had his metallurgists collaborate with those of archpriestess Viconia's renegade Sharite drow, and they just may have developed an alloy of adamantium which can withstand sunlight."

"That can only mean one thing," Valygar mused. "That he plans to attack...."

"Yes, above ground," Drizzt nodded. "As soon as he can outfit his army with this new equipment - and their production is well underway - he will be taking a large force and marching them to Athkatla."

***

For the merry month of Mirtul, a traveling circus from the east had come to Athkatla, led by Garrick and the wife who had taken him to her homeland of Rasheman long ago. Escorted by Minsc and his Justice Fist adventurers, now they were back in the city where they had once wooed. Combining with Quayle?s Circus, the carnival took up nearly the entirety of Waukeen?s Promenade.
Minsc was mud-wrestling all challengers and the slippery Saemon Havarian was making quite a bit of coin taking side bets on him. The illusionists Jan and Quayle had cast up a maze of unreal sights and sounds that intrepid circus-goers dared to enter and try to find their way out of. Onyx and Aerie were strolling past various booths and exhibits, arm in arm. Actually, Onyx was essentially carrying her in one arm and their grown daughter Sky in the other. Nearby, Nalia had just given a speech to the present crowd and was now looking around the festivities with Valygar.

?I?m amazed she can enjoy a circus, after?.? Nalia trailed off, looking at Aerie.

?I think she really grew up over the course of our adventures and the growth of her kids,? Valygar mused. ?You two are archmages I really, really, really wouldn?t want to tango with.?

?What!?? Nalia swatted his arm playfully. ?You sure did la-?

?Er, tango? I meant tangle,? Valygar backtracked. ?Um, let?s tango,? he announced and swept her up, carrying her to a nearby tent where couples were dancing to the band of Garrick himself.

Nearby, Onyx spied a young paladin he knew, a rising star of the Order and as true an inquisitor as his grandfather had been.

?Say, Sky, you?ve never met Kelron Firecam, have you??

?That?s him?? Sky gasped. ?Can we meet him now??

Onyx winked at Aerie, who watched her husband escort her daughter over and introduce her to Kelron. She laughed contentedly and kept looking around for Quayle. They hadn?t been able to find him yet. She thought she spied a small, perhaps gnomish figure scurry by and she ran around the side of a small supply trailer after him.

?Ah, what an angel we have here!? exclaimed the masked bard, not Quayle certainly, but a rather curious quasi-elven figure. ?Tell me, my dove, would you hear a tale I have to tell??

?W-why, sure,? she giggled.

The mysterious minstrel drew a harp and began to step quietly behind her, almost whispering in her sensitive elven ears as he began a haunting ballad. A tale of a woman become a wife, a wife grown unloved and neglected by a warrior away at wars. Aerie could tell there was enchanting magic in the song but was moved and let it wash over her, shedding a single tear. Haer?Dalis grinned devilishly but didn?t miss a beat. The tale continued. A wife grown bored and unfulfilled, until one day a mysterious but charming rogue happened by?

Aerie could feel her robe begin to move as if a hand were starting to brush over it. Her hair stood on end and she suddenly knocked the offending hand aside angrily with her elbow, the spell broken and her thoughts returning to her loving husband.

Aerie stepped away and turned to accost the rogue, but he had vanished without a trace. She muttered a divination but there was nothing there, visible or not. She blinked several times, wondering if the entire thing hadn?t been some illusion.

Onyx came wandering around the small trailer, puzzled and looking for her. He visibly breathed a sigh of relief when he saw her and smiled. ?I think Sky will be preoccupied for awhile, my bride,? he grinned devilishly. He peered into the door of the deserted trailer and snaked and arm around her waist. ?We could go look for your ?uncle?, or we could enjoy a little time to ourselves first.?

?Enjoy the?.time?? Aerie arched a thin eyebrow as Onyx scooped her up gently and carried her into the supply trailer. ?How about?me??

***

At the Most Noble Order of the Radiant Heart, Valygar sat with Onyx, Anomen, Mazzy, and other knights. He was explaining the situation they faced with the Zhentarim and outlining a battle plan.

"We will need to station a large force outside the moat, otherwise their mages will just blast the wall to smithereens and the army will bridge its way across. We'll need as many paladins and rangers outfitted with enchanted armor and weapons as we can - the mundane equipment of the soldiers of Amn may not stand up at all against these adamantium weapons the Zhentarim may very well be carrying. And we'll need every archer or wizard in the city stationed along the ramparts of the wall to help take out the invaders. All right knights, get to work. We need to mobilize fast."

They broke and went about taking personal and material inventory and organizing their battalions. As Onyx turned to start barking orders, Valygar caught him. "My paladin friend, I will need you stay within the walls with me."

"What nonsense is this?? Onyx demanded. ?You and I will be needed at the front lines more than ever. This is going to be a grave battle, Chief Inspector.?

Valygar nodded seriously. "Indeed, High Protector, it may be the gravest this city has ever faced. But with a battle of this scope, you and I will best be able to run it from a watchtower, not at the front lines. And I fear that on the day of battle, we may find enemies spring up within the city as well as from the fields outside. Minsc will be with me to help me track such activity, but I'll need your unparalleled abilities in detecting evil as well."

Onyx swallowed his pride and nodded. "You're right, my brother is most conniving. And who knows whether we'll have elements from that blasted Circus of Chaos appearing, such as those three whom Yoshimo said escaped from that naval battle. I wouldn?t put anything past those tricksters."

"Exactly what I've been thinking,? Valygar nodded. ?Let's move out."

IV. The Battle of Athkatla

Dawn broke over Athkatla. Scouts had ridden into the city and confirmed it - the Zhentarim army would be there very soon.

Before the archers and mages standing on the ramparts of the city wall could even see the approaching Zhentarim, they could hear them. The entire army was marching in step, heavy metal-clad soldiers shaking the ground for miles around. Soon their banners became visible over the hill, bearing the red ?Z? of the Black Network of the Zhentarim, the moon-and-stars emblem of the drow Cult of Shar, or the bloody crossed axe-and-hammer of the dwarven Bloodaxe Clan. They were as one huge machine. A phalanx of fighters deep and wide across the front, archers in the rows behind. Spellcasters were both behind and interleaved among them, strategically positioned for their own protection and the magical enhancement of the surrounding fighters.

The Amnish forces arrayed in front of and atop the city wall cowered at the site of the massive army. Looking through a spyglass atop the wall, Nalia gasped as she recognized the purplish tint of the opposing army?s gear. ?It can?t be!? she screamed. ?It?s broad daylight, but their weapons are made with?.adamantium!?

The Zhentarim drew closer. Sarevok, eyeing the ground from his army to the other intently, at a precise moment gave a signal and a nearby soldier blew a horn. Within one step, the entire army stood still. He gave another signal, a different note followed, and then the archers drew their bows and began firing shot after shot. The Amnish archers were now doing the same. Clouds of arrows arced through the sky and came down upon both sides. The Zhentarim?s adamantium-tipped arrows sailed through the armor of the Amnish easily, and their adamantium armor largely deflected the incoming conventional arrows. After a minute of this, the Amnish were losing men fast and ordered a full charge. Sarevok called another hornblast and his own army charged to meet them.

Korgan, leading the mercenaries of his clan, looked across the rapidly approaching line of defenders and saw a cluster of short warriors breaking the line of tall. He recognized the emblem of Kagain Muscle Traders, the mercenary force of the recently-legitimate Sword Coast businessdwarf Kagain. ?Ar, thar be goody human-lovin dwarves! Let us be showin ?em what for!? he spat and led his clan rushing forward at them, ahead of the Zhentarim soldiers. His berserker clansmen were frothing at their mouths and running fast despite their short legs.

As fighters clashed on both sides, the Zhentarim were easily slicing the weapons of their opponents in two and cutting into their armor. Magically strengthened and hastened, they hacked through the defenders with efficiency and ease. Now the spellcasters on both sides were busy trading spells and replenishing friendly enhancements. Fireballs exploded, hailstorms fell, and lightning arced in the midst of the ranks and soldiers began taking painful elemental damage. Lathander and Helm clerics traded divine spells with Shar clerics and people on both sides found themselves held, enchanted, or in flames. With Aerie, Nalia, Imoen, Jan and other good mages casting powerful evocations and enchantments down from the ramparts, the defenders had the offensive magical advantage and were quickly taking out Zhentarim. However, the Black Network?s forces were making rapid advancement on their front line due to their aggressive discipline and technological advantage. Elite defending warriors, mostly paladins and rangers, with enchanted weapons and armor managed to keep from being slashed to pieces by the adamantium weapons, but the mundanely-equipped bulk of the fighters were being slain like cattle.

***

Amidst the dwarven melee, the Bloodaxe clan?s adamantium axes and hammers were hacking and smashing through those of Kagain Muscle Traders. As Korgan axed through a rival, he saw a dwarven warrior-priest wielding a large enchanted hammer step in front of him. ?Ah, tha pious Yeslick!? he sneered, licking froth from his lips. ?Time ta show you what an axe edge is for, priesty-priesty!? he yelled and ran at him.

Yeslick cast a domination spell at Korgan, but the berserker ignored it in his enraged state. Before he could get off another spell, Korgan?s axeblade smashed into his shoulder. Each dwarf drew back and swung again, hitting each other?s shields. They continued the melee, making loud clangs with each blow. Yeslick cast strong harming energy into his hammer and swung it underhand and into Korgan?s knee, smashing it and causing a searing wound with the divine magic. The hardy Korgan took the heavy damage in stride and flew into another berserker rage and hacked his axe rapidly up and down on Yeslick?s shield and helmet. At last his swing cleft through one of the helmet?s horns and then fell into Yeslick?s shoulder, cutting in deep. Yeslick groaned and began chanting to heal himself, but before he could complete the spell, Kagain swung again into his chest, driving his axeblade clean through him. With the great strength of a madman?s rage, Korgan continued to swing his axe and lifted Yeslick off the ground impaled, swung his weapon over his head and then brought it down on the other side, smashing Yeslick against the ground and then following through the full overhead swing and cleaving the priest in two.

Korgan laughed heartily and took a swig of a healing potion and threw it aside. As he did, a throwing axe came flying back and lodged shallowly in his chest. As he bellowed and pulled it out, he saw another great dwarven warrior he recognized step from the blur of short soldiers. ?Ah, at last, the turnin-a-new-leaf Kagain! First the black market, now tha white market! Bah!? he spat.

?My old mercenary comrade,? Kagain began gruffly, ?it?s not too late for my former partner in evil either. You?d be amazed at the lucrative contracts these goody-goody humans have to offer!? He kept his axe steady but not threatening.

?Then join yer new overgrown friends in tha grave!? Korgan roared and flew into another frothing rage, flying at Kagain. The other dwarf met the blow with his shield and swung back with his own, managing to hit paydirt. The two fighters hacked back and forth, each drawing blood several times, but the two hardy dwarves kept on swinging. At last Korgan grew tired from his rage and continued to rack up injuries while Kagain conserved his strength and slowly regenerated his own wounds. At last, as Korgan?s axe swung in from a carelessly wide arc, Kagain knocked it back away with his shield and then brought his own axe up underhand alongside Korgan?s shield. He cut through the evil dwarf?s armor and into his stomach, then pulled his weapon up and gouged through him groin to chin. In a final spasming rage, Korgan hurled his body forward biting and grasping, but Kagain calmly stepped back and, gripping his axe midway up the handle, pushed it forward with an inside elbow-strike-type blow and pushed the blade through Korgan?s neck and beheaded him. Korgan?s still-screaming head flew into the bloody mud behind him and Kagain turned to face the next ill-aligned mercenary.

***

As the Zhentarim fighters decimated the Amnish, they reached the lines of defending clerics. Among them was the wandering crusader Branwen. She froze evil soldiers around her with her clerical magic and conjured spiritual hammers to smash those that got close. She fearlessly waded through the oncoming phalanx and soon found herself face to face with the hideous drow clerics of Shar. The first resisted her magic but then she felled him with her hammer. Then another, sneering and beautiful, stepped in front of her, wearing jade armor, a mirrored shield, and a human-skull mace.

?Ah, my pretty, I have seen you before,?? Viconia cackled, ?but you were a stone statue at the time! Too bad the years are not as kind on you human women as they are on us elves! Perhaps you should have stayed a statue, eh??

?Tis but one of the many obstacles Tempus has thrown in my way to test my faith? Branwen replied solemnly. ?As are you.? With that she began to cast a spell, as did Viconia. A lightning bolt came down upon the drow lady and a column of flame upon the human woman. They each gritted their teeth, healed themselves, and then uttered holy and unholy words. The neutral Branwen was unaffected but so was the magic-resisting Viconia. Then their skull mace and spiritual hammer swung into one another. They circled and traded blows, hitting each other?s weapons and shields. Branwen managed to smash into Viconia?s knee but then she found the skull coming down on her own head. She then clenched the mace between her hammer and shield, but Viconia simply let go of the handle and then raked her long fingernails across Branwen?s face. The woman screamed as she felt their poisoned tips dig into her skin. Her muscles went limp and Viconia grabbed her mace again, infused it with the power to slay the living, and then brought it sailing into Branwen?s chest and killed her instantly. The evil priestess cackled and licked the blood from her fingers, turning to cast destructive magic at her next opponent.

***

Jan stood on the ramparts just south of the city gate, shooting spells and flasher master bruiser mates into oncoming enemies below. He looked at the rows of mages in the back. Looking through his Jansen techno-spectro goggles, he saw a particularly powerful necromantic aura from one, a babbling figure in green. Suddenly the figure opened a dimension door and disappeared. Through his goggles, he could see the mini-conduit the wizard was taking. It ran through the wall and behind him into the graveyard district. Jan dimension-doored himself there as well.

Standing in the middle of the graveyard, Jan looked across the tombstones and saw his enemy appear.

?Those that the gods wish to destroy they first make mad! Mad! MAD!? Xzar screamed.

?Well you know my magical friend, according the gnomish theological Humpret Smogglewise the Twenty-Third, most gods would simply just smite the affected individual - hmm, affected, yes, that would be you - and be done with it rather than putting them through a convoluted series of trials and tribulations and mental?.?

He was cut off as Xzar sent a squad of magic missiles his way. They crashed into him and he flew back. ?Wooohooooo!? he screamed as he smashed into a tombstone, harmed but not critically. Xzar then cast a time stop but not before Jan?s? contingency kicked in and brought up a host of protections. Xzar used his window to dispel them and then cast a slew of necromantic spells. As time resumed, they simply fizzled on Jan harmlessly.

?I?ve seem pigs fly, I have, ties true!? Xzar moaned and clasped his hands over his ears as his spells failed.

?Har har har, my necromancer!? Jan smirked. ?You really should know that us illusionists are in the habit of casting on ourselves an immunity spell to necromancy - it?s our opposition school for cryin out loud, of course we do!? he laughed and cast a time stop of his own. He spent his window simply firing his crossbow. As time resumed, a half dozen flasher master bruiser mates slammed into Xzar?s frail body and their splinters raked through his flesh and he fell dead. Jan breathed a sigh of relief and turned to run away, but then he heard a cackle seeming to come within the ground.

Xzar sprang up from the graveyard soil, but now he was a lich. A score of zombies popped out of the ground behind him. ?Now for a thriller, thriller, yeah!? he screeched and suddenly strange music began playing from nowhere and Xzar started a snappy dance with the zombies matching his every motion.

?Well," Jan opined and began casting, ?my newly undead necromantic friend I can?t say in all of the Annals of Dances Throughout the Various Regions and Races of the Realms, in any of the 123431 volumes - all of which I?ve read, naturally - I?ve seen anything quite this bad! you should, well - just beat it!?
?Who?s bad? I?m bad? I?m bad! Just beat it?? Xzar screamed and patted himself on his bare skull spasmodically while he ordered his performing zombies to start dancing their way to Jan. Jan completed his spell and summoned a number of orcs to his aid. The orcs started dancing their way to the zombies and the two groups met and began trading rhythmic slashes and parries. Jan and Xzar leapt into the fray and swung their daggers at each other. As their other hands flailed up and hit, Xzar conjured a small rope tying their left wrists together. They circled, swinging their knives back and forth in an intense close-range duel while they zombies and orcs continued to fight and dance side to side. Each cut into the other a few times with their daggers, but then one of Jan?s slashed cut off Xzar?s skeletal hand at the wrist and freed them from one another. Xzar pushed him back with a telekinetic cantrip and Jan fell onto a slab, spinning around rapidly on his back while flailing his hands and feet into the air. He came out of his breakdance and tried to slash at Xzar again, but the necromancer spun around and disappeared into a whirlwind of sand and then reformed elsewhere.
?I?m invincible I am yes invincible! ?Xzar babbled and cast a fireball at Jan. The gnome outran it as it took out the remaining zombies and orcs. Jan fired a flasher master bruiser mate but Xzar twisted sideways and started walking backwards out of his way, bringing his knees up as if he were walking forward and artistically moving his hands to both dance and cast. The necromancer began casting his deadly spell but then the illusionist distracted him by projecting false images of a monkey and small boy. They broke Xzar?s concentration and he started bounding after them with an outstretched shiny glove and a weird skeletal grin. They led the enchanted lich over to an open grave and coffin which he mindlessly walked over and fell into. Jan kicked the lid closed behind him and conjured dirt to fill the grave.
?Guess that buries your career my dancing wizard good riddance unfortunately they?ll probably try to resurrect you over and over and? ? Jan trailed off as he ran out of the now eerily quiet graveyard.

***

Cyrex, Eldoth and Haer?Dalis were running up the stairs outside the Copper Coronet, holding Xan. They reached the roof, which was nearly deserted. A few catapults stood about hurling stones east at the Zhentarim forces just outside the walls, and the three bards cast chaos spells which sent the catapult engineers running amok and off the roof of the taverns, falling onto the street below.

?this is a high point right in middle of athkatla this will do nicely.the chaos shockwave will blast across the entire city and bring madness to all!!!!!! cast it here now my enchanter!!? Cyran instructed.

?Oh dear, I?m dust!? Xan moaned and began casting.

?spell will take several minutes to complete let?s get out here outside the radius we are insane enough as it is!? Cyrex babbled and he and the other two bards ran back down the stairs.

"Mayhaps, my parrot," Haer'Dalis sang, "but first Eldoth and I have a certain dove and sparrow to cage, come hither to the ramparts." They ran east toward the city gates.

***

As the Zhentarim army continued to push forward, their mages came within range of the city walls. Edwin, at the back, began summoning all manner of monsters in the air above the walls. Skeletal warriors, elementals of all types, invisible stalkers, and various tribes of demons fell amongst the archers and mages, causing great havoc. Spellcasters protected themselves and archers drew out their melee weapons. The strong monsters quickly began thrashing them to bits. Further north along the wall, over the city gates, Aerie and Nalia were however taking them out with their spells as well as deft melee blows from Crom Faeyr and the Short Sword of Mask. Nearer Edwin, Imoen was also taking them out with spells and her Staff of the Ram. Edwin looked up at her and dimension doored himself onto the wall beside her.

They each quickly sent up numerous spell protections and then trading dispellings. Edwin held out his fingers and sent a volley of flame arrows at Imoen but she stopped time, ran out of their path, and cast several lightning bolts at Edwin. As time resumed they struck and burned him, unleashing a contingency which sent chain lightning through Imoen and Tenser?s transformation upon himself. Becoming a mighty juggernaut, he swung his quarterstaff at Imoen but she swung back. The ends of their staffs clapped against one another as they tried in vain to hit each other?s knuckles, faces, or chests. Edwin swung his staff in a horizontal arc at Imoen, but the thief girl deftly leaned back and did a limbo underneath it, then swung her own downwards and swept Edwin off his feet. As his legs flew up into the air and he fell, she cast an ice storm at the ground below him. The spell hardened into up-pointing icicles which he fell upon, impaled and dead.

***

Onyx, Valygar and Minsc were surveying the battle from a high watchtower within the city. Onyx and Valygar shouted out orders, while Minsc barked loud commands that he claimed were coming from Boo. They watchtower had recently been built in the "slums district" which, though it had prospered and become far more safe and upscale during the years of Nalia's reign, still held the same name almost as a joke. Onyx detected Eldoth's evil aura and pointed the other two in that direction, toward the Copper Coronet, and then Valygar?s hairs bristled as he felt the strong enchantment aura from the roof of the tavern. The three warriors ran up out of the tower and over to the tavern, then up the stairs and onto the roof.

?Xan!? Onyx exclaimed. ?I thought you were at Spellstudy!?

?Oh dear, my old friend from those horrible Nashkel mines, I find myself in a miserable bind yet again! I have to cast a terrible Chaos Shockwave for those circus bards or it?s Mr. Geas! Oh woe is me!?

Onyx held his sword high at Xan. ?My friend, you must not cast it or I will be truly sorry to do this, but I can?t let you??

Valygar held his hand on the paladin?s shoulder and restrained him. ?He is no longer casting, Onyx. I can see the yellow-and-purple glow around his body. The spell will go off no matter what now. The only question is??

?Where!? Onyx and Valygar shouted in unison as they looked at one of the catapults. Onyx scooped up Xan and they ran over to it. As he threw the enchanter into the bowl of the catapult, Valygar slashed one of its ropes with a katana and the catapult swung up and launched Xan into the air.

?I?m doooooooooooooooooooooooommmmmmmed!!!!!!!!!? Xan moaned as he sailed high through the sky, over the slums and the city wall. He landed in a puddle on the muddy battlefield, amidst the Zhentil soldiers who by now had nearly annihilated the Amnish from the field and were clamoring at the moat. Then Xan spasmed as he felt his spell complete. The Chaos Shockwave flew out of his body, rippling across the surrounding battlefield. Zhentarim went confused and crazy and began attacking each other instead of cleaning off the remaining foes or manning their moat-bridges and battering rams. Wizards and Sharite clerics began casting magic carelessly about and causing random explosions.

***

Sarevok bellowed in rage as he saw his army, massive and organized only moments before, fall into utter disarray. The banners fell, the lines broke, the forward momentum was lost. Soldiers at the edges of the flanks or at the back began skipping off into the surrounding field, those in the middle were hacking and blasting each other to bits. As his own soldiers ran at him crazily, Sarevok raised his fearsome sword Soul Ravager and preparing to slash them down. He soon felt much better, felling at least one soldier with every blow, making sport of seeing how many he could slay in a single swing.

Amidst the now rapidly declining numbers of both the Amnish and the Zhentarim, he saw two knights come before him, one tall and one short. "Ah, my straight-and-true old friends Sir Delryn and Lady Fentan!" he bellowed. Anomen and Mazzy approached him bravely but cautiously, mace and shortsword and shields held close. Anomen began to cast a spell but Sarevok had drawn his Crossbow of Affliction just as quickly and fired a bolt at him. The heavy launcher sent the missile into Anomen's chest, interrupting and injuring him. As Sarevok slung the crossbow back onto his belt, Mazzy was running at him and stabbed her short deep into Sarevok's thigh. Sarevok merely laughed as he drew out Soul Ravager again and swung it down at her. Mazzy parried the blade with her shield but the strength of the blow sent her to her knees. Anomen was rushing at Sarevok and managed to smash him in the side, but Sarevok swung back and caught the knight against the side of his helmet. He went reeling as Mazzy drew back.

Sarevok deliberately stepped between them and began swinging his sword around quickly. The two moved in with their weapons but Sarevok went into a blinding whirlwind attack, a tornado of dark flashing steel that parried every blow and knocked the two good fighters back. As his whirlwind ended, he sheathed his sword and drew out a great adamantium double-ended halberd. He simultaneously dueled Anomen's mace with the front end and Mazzy's shortsword with the back. Mazzy went into a whirlwind attack of her own, but Sarevok quickly swung his halberd over his head and brought the front end down upon the short, spinning Mazzy while the back end swung up at Anomen, blocking his blow and smashing into his stomach. The halberd blade cleft into Mazzy's helmet and put a deep gash in her head. As she fell to the ground with a fatal concussion, Sarevok swung his halberd around again, catching Anomen across the chin with the back end and then brining the front end around into the knight's thigh. As Anomen backed up and healed himself, Sarevok switched out Soul Ravager again and came at him full force. He knocked Anomen's mace far to the outside with his first blow, the shield away from his body with the second, and then he swung it up and caught Anomen in the chest with the third, sending him to the ground unconscious and bleeding to death. Before Sarevok could desecrate their bodies with his blade, more of his own mad troops ran up to him and he was swept into the fray again, swinging furiously at his insane disloyal soldiers.

***

Aerie and Nalia stood together on the ramparts, overlooking the battle and casting spells down into the fray.

?Ah, sweet dove and sweet sparrow, would you hear a song from three humble minstrels?? a voice behind them asked.

Nalia turned first to see the three bards dresses as clowns. One held a bunch of balloons and the other two were beginning to orate from scrolls they held. ?I don?t think now?s the ti-? she began, but then, just as Aerie turned to them, the two bards completed their chants. Suddenly shimmering spheres encircled Aerie and Nalia.

?Ah, I do so love Otiluke?s Resilient Balloon!? laughed Haer?Dalis as his scroll vaporized. ?It lasts so much longer than Otiluke?s ordinary sphere, works every time, can?t be dispelled, is light as a feather, and even comes with a convenient handle!? As the women tried in vain to cast and kick their way out of the bubbles that slowly floated up, Haer?Dalis grabbed the rope handle of the balloon carrying Aerie and Eldoth grabbed the one carrying Nalia. Cyrex laughed madly and held his own balloons aloft.

?And now, my friends," cackled Cyrex, "to Insanity Island we must go for a much needed vacation."

"...or honeymoon!? he and Eldoth added together and grinned evilly, looking up at Aerie and Nalia.

The three bards began running west through the town towards the docks district, where their trimaran was moored.

V. Insanity Island

As Onyx, Valygar and Minsc were running back down the stairs outside the Copper Coronet, they spied a trio of clownish bards running by down a street ahead and carrying balloons - and two people floating within them. They squinted close.

?Aerie!? roared Onyx.

?Nalia!? yelled Valygar.

?My witches!? screamed Minsc.

?Eep! eep!? squeaked Boo.

They immediately charged after the bards at full speed. The chase proceeded southwest through the slums and finally to the docks district. They saw the three bards leap off the end of a pier, seemingly into the water. But as they reached the edge of the pier themselves, they saw the rogues taking off in a trimaran, their jolly-roger-and-black-sun flag-sail caught high in the wind.

?Was that Haer?Dalis? And Eldoth?? Onyx?s jaw hung open. ?Who was the third??

?They call him the Jester ? those three ran the Circus of Chaos!? Valygar shouted to his comrades. ?These are the three that Yoshimo informed us got away from him! Quick, to the Sea Ranger Lodge!?

?We need your fastest boat, pronto!? Valygar ordered a sea ranger as they rushed in.

?Yes, Chief Inspector! Follow me!? the man acknowledged and quickly led them to the dock on the back of the building. ?She?s our fastest, but be careful - she?s a knife in the water and just as tipsy!?

The warriors leapt into the boat and immediately drew up the sail and pulled out. Valygar drew out a spyglass and directed Onyx and Minsc to maneuver the sail and rudder, setting themselves in hot pursuit of the trimaran.

They were soon out on the open sea, heading north-west-west, keeping the same wind and speed as the trimaran.

The three bards were each standing at the fronts of the trimaran?s three beams, steering and watching their pursuers. ?enough now we must kill them yes yes? Cyrex babbled and gleefully let his bundle of balloons go. They floated back over the air, in the path of the trailing sailboat.

?Boo says those balloons no look like fun!? Minsc screamed and drew out his bow, firing at one. The balloon popped in a large fireball that left the others unscathed. Valygar drew out his bow and Onyx his throwing axe, and they began hurling or firing at the balloons. Some popped in other fireballs, some in ice storms or electric bursts, others summoned monsters which fell into the water and drowned, and still others had no visible effect but surely were letting out some enchantment or other.

?I see our secret admirers need some more lively playthings! I have more cards up my sleeve? Cyrex sneered as the last balloon was popped and drew a deck of cards from his sleeve. Every one of them had a shark pictured on it. He began tossing them into the water behind the trimaran. The oceans had been clear and empty, but suddenly shark fins rose above the surface, swimming with the trimaran. "Let's see how they gamble with our cardsharks!" the jester laughed.

Valygar was still peering intently through his spyglass, his dreadlocks blowing about in the high wind. He saw the rapidly approaching shark fins, each of them tattooed with a number and symbol as if they were playing cards. ?Cardsharks!? he screamed and the heads soon appeared, opening their jaws to reveal row upon row of diamond-shaped razor sharp teeth that would easily tear the boat?s hull to splinters.

Onyx took over steering as Minsc and Valygar merely held out their hands, not longbows. As the sharks drew close, the two rangers began charming the animals and sent them back in the direction of the trimaran.

The bards were laughing and toasting as they watched their foes contend with the sharks. Then they noticed the shark fins turning around and swimming back towards them. They were coming slowly, now swimming with the vessels, but gaining to be sure. The bards cursed and drew out bows and crossbows, firing upon the sharks as soon as they came within range. One managed to get to the boat, leapt out of the water, and bit the middle beam. It flapped wildly, causing the trimaran to keel side to side in the water and slow down. Cyrex drew his katanas and slashed off the shark?s huge head with one dual swipe. The body fell into the water and he pulled the head up onto the trimaran?s netting as the other two bards laughed. Eldoth began making sharktooth-headed poison arrows while Cyrex cast small fireballs and started up a little shark meat barbeque and Haer?Dalis resumed steering. They all ate and sang together jovially:

?Just sit right back and you'll hear a tale,
a tale of a fateful trip.
That started from an Amnish port,
aboard this tiny ship.
The mate was a spinning tiefling,
the skipper a jester fool.
With a debutante and two gals they set sail,
for a three hour tour, a three hour tour???
Their do-gooder pursuers started getting rough,
the tiny ship was tossed.
If not for the courage of the fearless bards,
the Circus would be lost; the Circus would be lost.
The ship took ground on the shore of a hidden desert isle,
With Cyrex and Haer?Dalis
And suave Eldoth all bringing a smile
With ginger Nalia, and merry Aerie
Here on Insanity Isle!?

At last the island came into sight. The bards cheered and hurriedly finished their food and wine. They rode the trimaran into a wave and slid up the beach on it, coming to a gentle rest on the sand. They grabbed the two balloons and began running up the beach into the dense jungle.

The sailboat was led up onto a wave with equal skill, sailing up the beach and then like a knife through the sand almost all the way to the trees. Using its last momentum, the three heroes leapt off it with weapons already drawn, hitting the ground running.

The two rangers were expertly tracking the bards? path through the lush foliage and Onyx could detect Eldoth?s evil aura ahead of them. Though they were pursuing them easily, the paladin cursed himself for not also having the ability to detect destructive but truly amoral chaos. Then instead his anger turned the unknown workings of magic and auras itself. Why is it that sentient beings may do evil, as their auras remain neutral? He nearly cursed Ao for designing such an imperfect system. His mind went back the childhood of his son and indeed his own. Both had in their youths attacked many an agemate for evil actions, yet the individuals were by aura not ?evil.? How could this be?

The three bards came at last to their hidden pirate village. Houses were built in the trees, with ropes, bridges and catwalks snaking all around. Circus pirates were running about, climbing up and sliding down, or just sitting around drinking, gambling, and cursing. They cheered as they saw their three leaders return, and whistled as they saw the two captives in the balloons.

?No time for a tale, my hawks!? Haer?Dalis announced. ?Three foes of fun and freedom follow in our footsteps! Entertain these guests and by all means, play rough!?

As the heroes drew close, they could easily hear the pirates and began creeping quietly. They ran up a hill and Valygar leapt onto Minsc?s shoulders and then up into a tree. He peered above the canopy and could see the pirate village ahead.

?Outlaw encampment ahead,? he whispered to the other two, ?it?s built against the side of a rock outcropping of the island's lone mountain. Doubtless they?re against it because of some sort of cavern complex.?

The three began running through the trees to the rocks, going around the edge of the pirate village. They climbed up onto the rocks at the foot of the mountain. A stream was coming down from the mount, spilling over the rocks in a series of waterfalls. The three followed downstream to the last outcropping of rocks, just overhanging the edge of the pirate village below. They looked down and saw a rope bridge, some hundred feet in the air and yet also a hundred feet below them, seemingly go right into the rocks.

Boo squeaked excitedly as they peered over the edge. "Boo says that must lead to their underground lair!" Minsc exclaimed under his breath. Onyx drew a length of rope out of his bag of holding and tied it securely around the base of a nearby boulder. Quickly eyeballing the rope and the distance to the bridge, he cut the end of the rope off and threw the remaining length over the edge. It hung just above the bridge, invisible to the naked eye for being within the cloudy mist of the waterfall. The three heroes quickly scaled down it and onto the bridge, themselves hidden from the pirates outside by the spray. They then ran along the bridge under the waterfall, into the cavern complex under the mountain. They ran through several rooms of circus and pirate equipment.

?This place must have been the origin of the Circus of Chaos!? Onyx exclaimed.

?Look!? Valygar pointed to a piece of paper carelessly left on a desk. ?It?s an invoice for weapons, materials, monsters?underwritten by the Black Sands Traders ? a front for the Zhentarim! ?

?So my brother was behind this all along,? Onyx scowled.

The three bards, running deep into the mountain, passed into Eldoth's opulent bedchamber. They froze in surprise and a look of trapped terror caught Eldoth's eyes. Skie was sitting there. Eldoth's lover from Baldur's Gate many years ago, she had been slain alongside him in the first Throne War but had returned from the Abyss with him and Haer'Dalis.

"Oh, my sweet Eldie, I'm so glad you're back!? Skie hopped up. ?I missed you so much that I decided to return early from visiting my parents in Baldur's Gate and......" Skie's eyes trailed up to the balloon Eldoth was sheepishly holding and she focused on the lithe Nalia trapped inside. "And just WHO is THAT!?!?!!?" Skie demanded, jealously eyeing the other thief lady.

"Er, she is, an ah hostage of some import, only that...." Eldoth stammered. He tried to pass the balloon to Cyrex, but the jester merely laughed hysterically and pointed at Eldoth and Nalia.

Skie had seen Eldoth's embarrassment and saw straight through the slippery bard. "You lied to me!" she began crying angrily. "You said you loved me!! I lockpick our way out of the Abyss and this is the thanks I get!? You thinking I'll be away at my parents' for a while and so you bring up a little strumpet to this island? OUR island? You promised me we'd retire in this tropical paradise!!! While in Baldur's Gate I hear how you've been causing chaos and mayhem across Faerun, and so I come back here early to see you, not believing the rumors, and now I find that not only did you in fact just return from just a mad misadventure, but you've brought yourself back a mistress!? I HATE YOU!!!!!!"

Just then Onyx, Valygar and Minsc burst into the room. They had their bows and throwing axe readied, but the crying Skie came bounding over to them, holding out her arms and blocking their shots. "Just kill them for me!!! They're rogues and liars and I hate them!!!" she cried.

Onyx, suspecting a ruse, detected her aura. She was neutral. Curses. Were these bards putting on a little show? He thought he recognized her from a nobleman's house when he first visited Baldur's Gate long ago. "Skie? Stand aside, my lady!" he called to her impatiently. "How do I know you actors aren't improvising?"

"Improvise THIS!" Eldoth sneered and drew his bow and fired a poisoned sharktooth arrow into Skie's back. She screamed and her knees gave out. He fired another into Onyx's shoulder. The sharktooth pierced the cavalier?s armor but he was immune to the poison. Ignoring the slight physical pain to himself, he grabbed Skie, already herself weak from the poison, as she started to fall. Tthe three bards dashed out another door as the rangers? arrows landed in the wall behind them. The paladin laid his hands upon Skie's back and healed her wound physically, then softly chanted a neutralize poison spell for her. He laid her, fully healed now but nearly unconscious, on the bed.

"At last I see," she whispered weakly into Onyx's ear as he gently let her sink into the silken sheets, "that heroes and villains are more than opposing teams in a game. It is faith and valor, not mere banners and crests, that distinguish good and evil men."

?Yes, actions, not auras, my lady,? Onyx whispered as Skie fell into a deep slumber. The three heroes ran out the other door and down a hallway. They came down a hallway and into a large square chamber with a checkered marble floor.

"Greetings, players" Cyrex's voice echoed around the chamber from everywhere and nowhere, "So glad you decided to gamble with the Jester. And now, let the games begin!!"

They saw two lines of enemies coming at them from across the room. Onyx summoned a deva to his aid, but they were still outnumbered sixteen to four. The first line of eight small soldiers came close and Valygar and Minsc were already picking them off with arrows while Onyx hurled axes. Four made it through. Valygar began slashing one apart with his katanas Celestial Fury and Hindo's Doom while Minsc cleaved through another with Ravager and Onyx made short work of a third with Blackrazor and the Axe of the Unyielding. The deva took out the fourth with her glowing sword but then the back line of enemies drew nearer. Two stone battering rams came wheeling down the squares at them while two knights on miniature horses galloped up. Behind them, two clerics and a sorceress were preparing spells and a large crowned warrior was drawing a crossbow. Before one of the knights reached him, Onyx hurled a potion of explosions at the back line and it exploded, disrupting the spellcasters. Valygar sidestepped one of the rams and swung at its wheels, knocking them off and immobilizing the machine. Minsc braced himself with his halberd and took the other ram head on. It smashed into the Ravager's blade and stopped. After a few more swings, Minsc had reduced it to rubble. Onyx and the deva were dueling the knights, each taking a few minor blows before knocking off the heads of the horses and men. As the four rushed the back line, the clerics called columns of fire down onto the deva while the sorceress sent a wilting sandstorm into the air and the king hit Onyx with a bolt. The deva was shriveled and incinerated on her way to the king. Squinting and bearing the wilting and bolt, Onyx reached the queen and sliced her apart with a single pairs of swings from his sword and axe. Minsc and Valygar each reached one of the bishops before they could get another spell off, and managed to knock their staffs aside and behead them, funny hats and all. Onyx, absorbing the queen's strength through Blackrazor, turned to face the king, who threw down his crossbow and drew a sword and shield. The two thrust and blocked and parried. Onyx managed to use the back of his axeblade to catch the edge of the king's shield and pull it away from his body. He then knocked the king's sword outward with his own and thrust at the monarch's exposed chest. He stabbed him clean through and roared as he drained the king of his life, healing his own wounds. He let the body slide off the blade and then he and the two rangers ran out the back of the room.

"I see you may be good sports yet," Cyrex the jester giggled. "But such serious and valiant heroes you are! Our next game will give you a laugh!"

They wound up through a steeply sloping tunnel, and the next chamber seemed much more rocky and natural, like a large cave. Onyx sniffed the air and felt his blood boil. A dragon's cave!

"Dragon," he whispered to his comrades. ?I don?t recognize the breed though.? Valygar started to nod but then let out a smile. Minsc outright laughed.

"What's so funny...heh heh?" Onyx chuckled. Then he caught himself. He smelled the air again. Could it be....? He'd heart stories of a dragon race created by Mask as a great practical joke, a strange mutation of green dragons who breathed not poison gas, but laughing gas. As he started to laugh and lose control again, he grabbed Minsc and Valygar and tugged them back to the mouth of the cave. They guffawed at his antics but then shook their heads once they were back in the cleaner air.

"Purple dragon - laughing gas breath," he explained. Valygar, now more serious, cast a zone of sweet air ahead of them. They ran forward, swearing they could smell pine trees and hear birds chirping. As they reached thicker, noxious air again, Minsc cast another sweetening spell and they ran further. At last, in the darkness, a pair of bright eyes opened.

?Knock knock,? boomed an omnipotent voice, obviously that of a dragon.

?Who?s there?? Minsc asked, a little confused.

?Your dragon!? the dragon teased.

?Our dragon?who?? Minsc wondered.

?You?re draggin? your feet because you?re afraid to face me!? the dragon finished.

?Ho ho ho ho?.greetings, mortals, I am Laffraag....ho ho ho ho!!!" the ancient purple wyrm continued. "Did you hear this one? So, a cavalier, a berserker, and a stalker walk into a dragon's cave. The cavalier..."

Sheathing his other weapons and drawing out Dragonslayer and the Dragon Shield, Onyx yelled and charged the dragon's head. Valygar drew Ixil's Spike and Minsc held the Ravager halberd forward and they ran its belly. The dragon breathed a thick cloud of laughing gas, but the three were still in the sweet air cloud. The spear and halberd plunged into the dragon's belly but it reared its head up and out of Onyx's reach. It knocked the rangers back again with its foreclaws and then sent all three of them flying with a wing buffet.

They were each up in seconds and charging at the dragon again. It came at them with tooth and nail. Minsc managed to intercept one of its claws with his halberd, and Onyx the other with his sword and shield, each piercing into its hands. It reached in to chomp Valygar whole, but he tucked and rolled, and as its jaw came together around air, he sprang up and plunged his spear through the bottom of its jaw. He twisted the spear and it sent barbs out of the spearhead into the dragon's brain, lacerating through its thoughts and memories and killing it instantly. The three warriors withdrew their weapons from the dead beast and ran down to the end of the cave, which sloped steeply up again.

"So many enemies have fallen before you over the years," Cyrex taunted, "but how will you fight foes who are not even real?"

They found themselves in a maze of mirrors. They walked around, seeing only their own reflections in them. Then shapes began darting across the reflections. They heard laughter echoing through the hall. Then, Cyrex, Haer'Dalis, and Eldoth appeared in some of the mirrors, smirking and chuckling. The warriors began swinging at them, only to smash mirrors. The bards were now laughing hysterically. Onyx felt a slice on his back and spun around, but could see nothing. The same happened to Valygar and Minsc. They swung whenever they saw the bards but only shattered glass.

Wielding Gram the Sword of Grief, at last Minsc swung and hit the body of Cyrex himself. The jester sneered and swung back with his katanas Lies and Madness. He was quick and tricky, but Minsc managed to parry the blades with his own and, far the stronger, drove his opponent back into a mirror. Cyrex laughed madly as shards of a mirror cut through him and he continued fighting, cartwheeling and cavorting about madly and confusing poor Minsc, giving himself opportunities to score hits.

Onyx felt another sword rake across his back, and quickly turned and caught Haer'Dalis's arm with Blackrazor. Energy flowed into him and healed his wound and he swung with the Axe of the Unyielding, which Haer'Dalis parried with Chaos. The blade then swung with Entropy, but Onyx parried it. They both fought with great skill and speed, weapons flashing about. Haer'Dalis charged forward into an aggressive spin, but Onyx went into a whirlwind attack of his own. Steel clanged steel and a frightening pace and the two continued to swing away at each other, scoring occasional blows across or through each others' armor.

Valygar was swinging his katanas about taking out mirror reflections of Eldoth, and finally he hit the evil bard himself. Eldoth spat blood and swung his scimitars Seducer and Abuser in his hands and then at Valygar. The stalker parried the overhead swings with his katanas and kicked Eldoth in the chest. The bard fell back and cast magic missiles at Valygar, who cast them back. The bursts of energy flew past each other and smashed into each men, sending them both back into mirrors. Eldoth ran at Valygar again and swung at him, only to hit a mirror himself! Cursing at getting deceived be his own maze, he turned and swung at the real Valygar, who cleverly leaned far back to duck Seducer and swung Celestial Fury through the bard's leg and cut it clean off. As Eldoth was swept off his feet, Valygar met his fall with an upwards slash of Hindo's Doom that decapitated him.

As Haer'Dalis was quickly bringing his swords in at Onyx's chest, the knight held Blackrazor vertically between them and Chaos and Entropy clanged harmlessly against them. Before Haer'Dalis could move, Onyx had already brought the Axe of the Unyielding in for a low sideswipe of his own which made a clean vorpal slice through Haer'Dalis's waist and cut him neatly in two.

As Cyrex's katanas plunged into Minsc while the Rashemanian's own sword was caught between them, Minsc roared with frustration and went into a berserker fury. He simply let go of his sword and fell upon the small jester with his bare hands. The psychotic effects of Lies and Madness were lost on Minsc in his enraged state, and as Cyrex tried to cartwheel away, the ranger gripped the jester's head with his bare hands and crushed it between them.

As the three bards' bodies fell the floor, they vanished. The warriors gasped and realized it had all been an illusion. They heard the bards' laughter echo throughout the maze and saw their reflections cartwheeling away. The three warriors gave chase, only to find themselves swinging at reflections of the cavorting madmen.

At last they made their way out of the hall. They had stepped out onto a natural rock terrace on the top of the mountain, overlooking the jungle, beach and ocean below. There was one circular table, at which Eldoth, Cyrex, and Haer'Dalis sat side by side. In the middle of the table was a deck of cards, surrounded by bread, cheese, wine, and bowls of grapes and olives. The balloon of Aerie was tied between Haer'Dalis and Cyrex, and that of Nalia between Cyrex and Eldoth. They held daggers out across the strings of the balloons, ready to cut them loose and send the women in their weightless cages blowing away in the high ocean winds.

"Sheath your weapons or spend an eternity searching for your loves in the sky," Cyrex, sounding unusually lucid, sneered as he pressed his blades against the balloon ropes. The warriors complied and then held out their bare hands. "Ah, you understand at last the fallacy of true devotion, true commitment, and true love. It binds you down and it clouds your judgment. It is not we, but you who are insane. We are free, ours is a life of fun and mayhem, yours, of mere obligation and duty. That, my worthy foes, is madness for you."

?Madness is not making the most of that one lifetime ? the one lifetime I chose,? Onyx stated. He looked down at the deck of cards in the middle of the table and the two chairs. "What game is it this time, Jester?"

Haer'Dalis laughed musically. "Let's have no more illusions; I think we've all seen enough. We rogues can't possibly hope to compete with such legendary warriors physically, but you oafs are no match for our wit - or our luck! The deck here is a Deck of Many Things. The game, Three-Man Three-Card. Be seated and let the game begin. It shall be a battle of wits ? and chance." He gestured dramatically to the three empty chairs.

"Ah," inquired Valygar, "but there must be a wager first."

"Indeed," sneered Eldoth, popping himself an olive, "Any game with a Deck of Many Things is its own wager, for the loser most often ends up....broke, shall we say? However, the spoils to the last team standing are this: if we win, there will be nothing between us and our captives here on this beautiful deserted island, I think that is obvious enough, hmmm?"

Onyx and Valygar fumed. Minsc nearly went berserk.

"As for Cyrex, son of Cyran, son of Cyric, he will with your great deaths have enough power as a Cyricspawn to challenge Kan for the throne."

"And if we should kick your butts?" Minsc asked.

"Then we will be no more and you may return to your boring, predictable lives. Along with what you came for." Eldoth withdrew a scroll of Otiluke?s Popping Needle from his outfit, and showed to it to the warriors. Valygar, somewhat magic-literate, nodded in approval but before he could start chanting it, Eldoth had pinned it facedown to the table with a dagger.

"And now, let's make a deal!" Cyrex laughed and held out his palm to the deck. Telekinetically, he started dealing it to the players. To his left, Eldoth, then Valygar, then Minsc, then Onyx, then Haer'Dalis, then he himself got a card, and the cards dealt themselves around twice more. Each man carefully picked up his three cards and held them close to his chest. The three bards exchanged complicated signals of winks and smirks while the three warriors looked at each other confused. Then Boo furtively crawled down Minsc's back and onto Onyx's, whispering in his ear, then it crawled over to Valygar and did the same, then back to Onyx again and then back to Minsc. The warriors looked much more relieved. Minsc fed Boo a peanut.

Eldoth, to the left of the dealer, got to start.

"Void Card, to Valygar" he stated, laying down a black card with disintegrating powers.

"Key Card, to myself," Valygar countered quickly, playing a card showing a rich man. An ornate ring of protection appeared on Valygar's finger and helped him resist the disintegration.

"A defensive move!? Eldoth smirked. ?We retain initiative - passed left on our team to Haer'Dalis."

"Knight Card, to Onyx," Haer'Dalis sang. Suddenly a trio of demon knights appeared behind Onyx.

"Star Card, to myself." As Onyx leapt from his chair with Carsomyr drawn to engage the demon knights, he threw down a picture of a young woman emerging from a pond and felt this strength increase permanently. With powerful blows, the paladin knocked one demon knight back with a parry and then sent the other two smashing into rocks with mighty kicks. He ran past and beheaded the one he had parried to the boulder where he had slammed the second and now impaled him on Carsomyr. As the third swung again, Onyx knocked his sword away and flying off the cliff and then halved the demon knight neatly.

"Now our initiative to me!" Cyrex laughed. "Magician Card, to Minsc," he tossed down a card showing a young magician pointing to the earth and sky. Suddenly Minsc transformed into a rabbit and began hopping about. Onyx cast a remove curse spell and Minsc returned to normal - or at least as normal as Minsc ever is.

Minsc studied his cards carefully, Boo squeaking in his ear. "Talons Card, to evil Eldoth!" he cried and laid down an icon of a wicked-looking woman. Eldoth screamed and clasped his hands over his eyes as he was blinded.

Fumbling with his cards, he laid one down and hoped it was what he thought. "To Valygar!" he whined, not sure which card it was.

The warriors laughed out loud when they saw the picture of the throne. "A Throne Card!" Valygar announced as he and his comrades felt themselves gain in an instant the experience that comes from many battles.

"Rogue Card - to Eldoth," Valygar scowled, laying down a picture of a vicious backstabbing man that just might have been Eldoth. Suddenly the evil minstrel found himself quite charmed by Valygar and was overcome by a strange desire to help him.

"Skull Card - to Haer'Dalis," Eldoth announced dreamily. Haer'Dalis cursed as a Death Shade materialized behind him. He somersaulted out of his chair and cast a magic missile at it, only to find the bone-golem-like apparition resistant to his magic. He engaged its bony scythes with his shortswords and the two dueled at the edge of the terrace. The strong Death Shade backed the blade up to the very edge of the drop-off, and he desperately went into a defensive spin and would not be budged. As he came out of it, the monster lunged at him with its claws but he rolled between its legs, gave it a swift kick on the backside, and sent it toppling onto the rocks below with the sound of many breaking bones.

Haer'Dalis took a sip of wine as he seated himself again. He hissed at Eldoth, who had regained his sight and was gazing longingly at Valygar. "Fool Card - to idiotic Eldoth!" he announced. The card bore a picture of a fool walking off a cliff. Eldoth felt his wisdom plummet and he started wandering around in a confused stupor. The other five all merely watched as, chasing a butterfly and laughing like a fool, he followed the insect over the edge of the cliff and fell far to the rocks below with a sickening thud and a quickly-terminating scream.

"The target is folded, so initiative passes to us, to Minsc," Onyx stated.

Boo squeaked and Minsc laid down a card of flames. "Flame Card - to Cyrex!" he stated. Fire elementals and a Balor appeared behind Cyrex.

"Jester Card to myself," Cyrex laughed, laying down a card with a jester and gaining combat experience as he did a handstand on his chair. As the monsters rushed, he vaulted off the chair, spinning his katanas in the air and cutting down the Balor before he'd even hit the ground. He cartwheeled back and as the fire elementals rushed him, he cast a cone of cold through them and then finished them off with a mad whirl of katanas. He leapt back into his seat and devoured a handful of grapes.

"Initiative back to me," Onyx announced and laid down a card showing a medusa. "Euryale Card - to Haer'Dalis."

The blade grimaced as he felt himself grow more susceptible to magic. He sheepishly played his last, worthless card. "Gem Card - to myself," he grimaced and showed the picture of a diamond as actual precious stones, worth a fortune but unhelpful at the moment, materialized around him.

"Initiative to me," Valygar stated. "Donjon Card - to Cyrex." He laid down a card showing a man in a cage - a card with the power of imprisonment.

As an imprisoning orb began to materialize around Cyrex, he laid down a card showing a beautiful elf maiden weaving a thread. "Erinyes Card to myself" he laughed, suddenly enhanced and saving himself from the spell.

"My initiative!" Minsc guffawed. He played his one remaining card. "Ruin Card - on not-funny Cyrex!" he played a card showing a tower being struck by lightning. Haer'Dalis and Cyrex cursed as their new gems and all their other money disappeared.

Cyrex and Haer'Dalis, both devoid of cards, looked at each other. "Your team is out, my initiative," Onyx stated calmly. But he knew he and Valygar each had only defensive cards left. "Moon Card - Valygar," he said, laying down an icon of a woman holding a lantern. Valygar felt himself become hardier.

"Comet Card - Onyx," Valygar returned the favor. The cavalier felt himself become even more resistant to fire.

The five remaining players looked at one another, all their cards played and only Eldoth gone.

"We win," announced Onyx, "one-nothing. And you, Jester, have nothing to show for it."

"Oh, boo hoo hoo," pouted Cyrex, wiping nonexistent tears from his cheek. "Boo hoo hoo hoo ho ho ho hee hee hehehehehehehehe!!!!!" The dagger he had been holding across Aerie?s balloon's string he pulled away and, still laughing, plunged into Haer'Dalis's back. The jester felt his blood quicken as the blade's power surged into him.

Cyrex cartwheeled back out of his chair. "Enough power have I now to challenge Kan yes hahahahahha!!!! And one last card up my sleeve!" he laughed and drew from his sleeve a card, which bore a picture of a jester ? him - surrounded by the Black Sun of Cyric. He threw it upon the ground and a portal opened. ?I?ve a throne to own a monk-god to kill, and Sarevok and Viccy shall partake of the thrill!? Laughing, he cartwheeled through it.

Onyx cursed. "Three to one, the cheat - we can't go through ? only one who could summon a conduit could?like my son Eryx??

Valygar read the Otiluke's Popping Needle scroll and caught Nalia's fall from her popping balloon while Onyx caught Aerie. Minsc bent over the stabbed Haer?Dalis and curiously listened to the blade?s last words.

?Thus, as the Circus of Chaos has, now I shall end my run,
And yet I only laugh and muse ?pon my moment in the sun,
Nonexistence shall greet us all, in our one life we must have fun!?

VI. Game Over

Sarevok and Viconia were fighting the last of both the Amnish and Zhentarim forces on the battlefield. Almost every soldier who wasn?t dead had run off crazily, either lost into the nearby forests or drowned in Athkatla?s moat.

Sarevok felt a tingling on his forearm and drew out a card from the sleeve of his armor. Upon it was the laughing Jester surrounded by the Black Sun. The glowing card exploded into a portal.

"Time to go turn the Throne into a fool's court!" he laughed. "Don't worry my dark maiden, we'll be back to Ust Natha in time for the midnight sacrifices!" He grabbed Viconia and they leapt through the portal.

***

Cyrex stood on an endless plain of hard-packed sand. The sky was a swirl of light and dark. Two suns, glowing golden-white and black-purple were high in the sky, as Tyr and Cyric looked on.

"I challenge you, Kan!" Cyrex screamed, brandishing Lies and Madness. "Be a sport!?

A column of light appeared briefly and in it stood the avatar of Kan. Strong but limber, a monk's white fighting robe over his bronze skin, he peered at Cyrex calmly while holding his katanas Truth and Clarity perfectly still.

Cyrex laughed again as a portal opened behind him and Sarevok and Viconia stepped through.

He stopped laughing abruptly as another portal opened behind Kan, and Eryx and Luna appeared.

"Ah, how sweet" Cyrex dismissed them and swung Lies and Madness about, ?the brothers who once faced each other.?

?This time, Jester, you shall face us side by side,? Eryx growled.

"Let combat begin!" Tyr and Cyric commanded in unison.

Cyrex and Kan leapt high in the air at one another. Their four katanas clashed and they spun around one another in the air, gazes and blades locked. Sarevok charged Eryx, who charged back but flapped his wings and flew over him at the last moment, kicking him in the head as he went by. Viconia and Luna each stayed back, preparing their deadliest spells.

Swords still together, Cyrex and Kan landed between Eryx and Sarevok. With Truth and Lies still crossed, Cyrex swung Madness out to meet Eryx?s arcing Foebane and Purifier while Kan sent Clarity out to parry the incoming Soul Ravager. Just before Luna got her spell off, Viconia cast a small but powerful earthquake at her feet which knocked her to the ground, stunned.

Now Cyrex had fully turned to face Eryx. Bastard swords clanged against katanas. Eryx brought around an armored wing for a smashing buffet, but Cyrex somersaulted over it and tagged Eryx with a katana as he came down. Kan was now a blizzard of golden-white katana blades against Sarevok, but the deft and mighty warrior managed to parry the speedy blows with clever economy of movement. Viconia cast slaying ability into her Skullmace and ran at Eryx behind his back.

Kan became a blur of katanas and legs and began to slash and pummel Sarevok, but the enhanced warrior bore it, regenerating almost as fast as he could be hurt. Eryx managed to push Cyrex back as well but Viconia was barreling down behind him with her mace glowing bright red. Just before she reached the knight, the now-lucid Luna came over the men's heads and smashed Viconia's weapon out of the way with her Moonmace. The priestesses swung at each other, their blows crossing one another or being blocked by their shields. Sarevok, though taking hits, was pushing Kan back and soon he backed into Cyrex. Eryx flew over them, getting a gash across Cyrex's forehead as he went by and then descending upside-down on Sarevok. Flapping his wings rapidly, he hovered above his uncle, swinging both swords wildly while Sarevok ducked and feigned to avoid them while swinging his own huge sword high in the air. Cyrex and Kan had pushed off each other's backs and spun to face each other again, katanas blazing.

?How?s the mundane rivvel existence, dear niece?? Viconia hissed at Luna as their Skullmace and Moonmace crossed. ?It?s never too late to rediscover the ways of the drow.?

?The drow ways have their place,? Luna winked, ?and it is not on the battlefield.?

They pushed apart and then swung in with maces and blocked with shields again.

Eryx swooped low under Soul Ravager and landed in a kneel by Sarevok, pummeling his sides with wing buffets before his uncle could drove him back with more swings. Sarevok swung in with a mighty overhead blow and Eryx stopped it between his crossed bastard swords.

?You were a fool, nephew, to spare your brother,? Sarevok bellowed as they pushed their blades against one another, locked in a war of dominance.

?And you were a fool, uncle, to oppose yours,? Eryx roared back and knocked Sarevok?s feet out from under him with an edge-on wing sweep.

Sarevok began falling and Eryx kept Soul Ravager away from him with Purifier while drawing back Foebane to thrust forward again and skewer Sarevok. Sarevok?s flesh was already healing in moments, but as he fell the bastard sword cut up through his torso and Eryx expertly twisted his wrist at just the right moment, shredding his uncle?s heart.

?Die!!!!!? Eryx thundered.

?Ssinjin eoul!? Viconia screamed and ran from her duel with Luna over toward Sarevok and froze Eryx with a hold spell. As she bent over Sarevok to resurrect him, Luna fired her a spell after her. Just as rejuvenating blue light was pouring from Viconia?s hands to the slain warrior, a maze spell formed around them and pulled her and the fallen tyrant she gripped to another dimension and out of sight.

Cyrex, seeing Eryx?s helpless state, spun out of his intense swordfight with Kan and charged the frozen cavalier, Kan rushing after him. Luna had already begun another maze spell and fired it at Cyrex. The jester screamed as it began to suck him away, but reached back pushes Madness through Kan?s thigh, pulling the monk away along with him.

Eryx unfroze and the young couple looked at one another, dumbfounded.

***

Flying across the multiverse, Kan gritted his teeth at the searing pain in his leg, feeling the madness from the blade quickly dissipate in his pure and noble blood. As he and Cyrex popped into a pure-white maze dimension, they fell apart from one another and tumbled through the labyrinth before coming to a stop.

Kan was up in an instant, katanas and ears perked. There was a minute of eerie silence, but the monk was confident nothing would escape his acute senses. He then heard faint laughter echoing from far across the maze, bouncing off the walls, floors, and ceilings, which were nearly indistinguishable for all being the same smooth, featureless white.

?Hah ha ha ha ha ha ha ha!? Cyrex?s voice echoed. ?Riddle me this, riddle me that, who?s the new murder-god and where is he at??

Kan heard the sound of hands and feet smacking the floor rhythmically, getting louder but still coming from all directions. He closed his eyes and concentrated. His keen mind parsed the exact directions and amplitudes of sounds coming into his ears and in his mind formed the implied geometry of the surrounding maze. He saw a mental map of the corridors and walls extending the three dimensions away from him, he saw rays tracing each sound in his ears back through the maze, and he could deduce the location and path of the cartwheeling Cyrex.

Then the sounds disappeared but Kan could mentally see his final trajectory. Cyrex was tumbling off a floor through the air over his head, a tight ball with katanas sticking out. Kan opened his eyes, squatted, and then leapt straight into the air at his assailant, nose and katanas pointed up.

Cyrex unfolded from his roll, katanas pointed straight down. Truth and Lies clanged along one another?s blades, as did Clarity and Madness and the two headbutted one another as their swords locked at the hilts. Kan did a midair split and pressed his feet against the vertical walls around them, and spun around in his wedged position as Cyrex fell into him and began to spin around him. Cyrex continued falling to the floor, blades now pointed up, and Kan had already pulled in his feet and now fell upon Cyrex. Cyrex landed in a smooth backward roll on the floor and sprung forward again, coming into Kan from the side in the air. Their blades locked again and they spun around one another in midair, then each landed on one leg while kicking with the other. They swung their katanas around in circles, trying to gain inside advantage, and ended up locking through each other?s elbows. They tried standing sweeps at each other with symmetric moves but their knees locked, and they stared into one another?s eyes across their blades.

?Yield, Cyrex, son of Cyran, son of Cyric,? Kan stated.

?Never, Kan, son of Onyx, son of Bhaal,? Cyrex retorted.

?Although your grandfather killed mine, I shall kill you,? Kan began.

Suddenly Cyrex lit up eagerly. ?Never! You killed my father!?

Kan nodded.

Cyrex looked impatient. ?Well??

Kan arched a quizzical eyebrow. ?What??

?Ahem?then you say?.? Cyric leaned in suggestively.

?What are you talking about??

Cyrex sighed. ?Ok, look, when I saw, ?Never! You killed my father,? YOU say, ?no, Cyrex, I AM you father!? ?

Kan looked even more confused. ?That?s ridiculous. I?m a monk. And besides, that sounds like a villainous line.?

Cyrex sighed. ?Well, normally yeah, but since I?m younger, you?re the one in power, and I?m usurping it, and since you did kill my father, we have to do it this way.?

?But I?m not your father,? Kan repeated.

?Yeah, okay, I know, but it?s the closest fit. We have to do this.?

?What the hell are you talking about??

?Look, in case Mr. Deadpan Monk hasn?t noticed, I?m a PARODIC villain. And that means I?m supposed to work those lines in somewhere, possibly with a still-easily-recognizable variation.

?Why??

?You just do! I HAVE to do this one.?

?Can?t we just finish our climatic katana duel??

?Just say it.?

?Or what? You?ll swordfight me? Yeah, swordfight me.?

?Yeah!! Um?nevermind. Very funny. Or I?ll?.SING!?

?Do your worst!?

?Okay??ahem?..Oh baby, baby?.?

?Uh-oh?.?

?Oh baby, baby?how was I supposed to know?.?

?Um, forget that thing about your worst?I didn?t mean it. Really.?

?That something wasn?t riiiyiiight?.?

?That?s not funny. Stop it.?

?Oh baby, baby, I shouldn?t have let you go?.?

?This is a maze dimension, not the ninth hell??

?And now you?re out of siiight, yeah,?

?Comedic villains aren?t supposed to be this cruel.?

Cyrex somersaulted back, landing with his chainmail stuffed with two skulls and twisted in a knot to reveal his midriff, his hair tied into pigtails, and he started spinning and dancing while casting mirror images that mimiced his every movement. ?Show me?how you want it to be?.?

?Most monks would have performed ritual suicide by now.?

?Tell me baby, ?cause I need to know now, oh because??

?Even Cyric wouldn?t stoop this low.?

The mirror images joined in the chorus. ?My loneliness, is killing me?I must confess?I still believe?.still belieeeeve??

?The bliss of nonexistence harkens??

?When I?m not with you I lose my miiiiiind?.give me a siiiiiiiign??

Kan gave him a sign, all right. Two of them.

?Hit me baby one more time!?

?You got it,? Kan?s arms blurred in a series of punches which sent telekinetic fists through the air, taking out the mirror images and then knocking Cyrex back into the wall behind him as his face and chest were pummeled.

Cyrex cast an invisibility spell on himself and ran. The following rain of phantom kicks and punches hit only air.
?Sometimes I run, sometimes I hide, sometimes I?m scared of you?.? Cyrex sang. Kan concentrated and deduced his location from his sound, then send another stream of telekinetic blows at him.

Cyrex reappeared, bruised and smashing into another wall, but laughing insanely. ?You drive my crazy, I?m so excited but I?m in too deep, crazy but it feeeeels alright? he sidestepped the attacks and sent his own cloud of magic missiles back at Kan, sending the monk flying into the opposite wall as his flesh steamed from the energy.

Kan leapt through the air at Cyrex but the jester fired another volley of magic missiles which sent the monk crashing to the wall again. ?Oops, I did it again, got lost in the game, but I?m not that innocent now??

?Guilty of the most heinous act imaginable, I?d say.?

?Well I?m not just a mortal, but not yet a god,? Cyrex smiled and batted his eyelashes.

?I?m going to do the multiverse a big favor and silence you permanently,? Kan sighed and raised his bare hands in a careful guard stance. Cyrex drew a crossbow and began firing a stream of bolts at him. Concentrating and moving at supernormal speed, Kan sidestepped the first bolt, watching it move past at a relative crawl. He pulled a shoulder down to dodge the second, then starting leaning back at his knees and twisting his arms and torso artfully to dodge the rest of them.

Cyrex sneered, threw his crossbow aside, and ran at Kan with his katanas swinging. Speeding up even further, Kan leapt straight up into the air with his arms outstretched and gracefully kicked Cyrex hard in the chest and sent him flying back. Kan landed and sent telekinetic punches after his opponent but the jester began running up and across the wall, keeping ahead of them and then landing by Kan. But before he could strike, Kan?s fists became a blur as he pummeled Cyrex mercilessly on the chest. Cyrex stumbled back and Kan somersaulted through the air over his head, coming down behind him and gripping him in a tight headlock.

?Do you know why I?m going to defeat you?? Kan asked rhetorically. ?Because, Jester, you don?t care about anything. You don?t value anything. You don?t love anything! You don?t BELIEVE in anything!!?

?Anything there is, is nothing,? Cyrex sputtered, ?Nothing is permanent - there isn?t anything to believe in. It?s all a big jest. Life is a passing joke. My existence is just a game.? Cyrex felt Kan begin the swift jerk to break his neck.

?Game over.?

***

??so that?s basically how last week went,? Onyx finished his story for Spectator Beholder. ?This week?s been pretty quiet. We resurrected Sir Delryn and Lady Fentan, all had a big victory celebration at the Order together, and now my son Eryx and his girlfriend Luna are finally back for a visit before their next demon-killing spree. Of course, it sounds like her aunt resurrected my brother too, and I?m sure they?re already back in Ust Natha hatching their next scheme. So if some Zhentarim mining-slaves bust through a wall of your hive at some point, you know who to blame. ?

?Man, don?t you just hate it when some psycho tries to take over the world or a diety portfolio,? Spectator sighed, his eyestalks looking at each other briefly and then nodding in agreement. ?You?d never believe my week. So this insane old elder orb ? let?s call him Xoxonoxorox, if I said his full name your head with probably explode - decides he?s going to get some of his buddies together and start telekinetically constructing an army of iron golems ? all to help with the chores around his lair of course, he says. So my wife and I go down to the Hive Mother and start saying ? well, telepathically - how this looks fishy, etc. etc. etc. ? oh, and you?d never BELIEVE how many forms you have to fill out ? we use color spray spells to do that, by the way ? just to file a complaint with the beholder bureaucracy. Hey, if you think your human officials and lawyers make things a real maze of rules and regs and put it all in indecipherable language ? well hey, think about how bad these all-intelligent beholder-crats can make things. Say, that reminds me, I hear that mindflayer law is pretty bad too. I?ve got this one friend Izzzzyxkkiy who went to mindflayer law school and said the term ?cramming? apparently originated with their brain-eating right before an exam.?

?Well, Amn?s bureaucracy isn?t nearly as bad as it was before Nalia??

?So anyway, I FINALLY get the ear ? I mean, thoughts ? of the Hive Mother, and does she see a threat? Noooooo. But then, sure enough, Xoxonoxorox comes marching in and with his friends and their golems, seeking domination, power, conquest, the usual. You?d think such a smart orb could be a little more original.?

?So what happened?

?One of my kids had the brilliant idea of making some magnet golems, and all the iron golems just stuck to them, and then none of the golems could really move anymore. So Xoxonoxorox and his pals just tucked stalk and ran.?

?Typical. Well, I?ve really got to go change ? we?re going to see the Qauyle & Garrick Circus tonight ? hey wait a minute ? I heard tonight has a new routine with a beholder ? that wouldn?t be - ?

?Yep!? Spectator grinned. ?The new hypnotizing act! I have some great ideas too ? like I?ve got this one volunteer and I?m going to hypnotize him into believing his pet hamster is actually a ?Miniature Giant Space Hamster? that can talk, and I?ve got this elf who I?m going to hypnotize into thinking the world is doomed to end in just a few minutes, and this other guy?.?

?I?ll see ya there. It?s gonna be a long night??