5 replies to this topic

[Solar's Harper]

Challenge #11: Magic Inteview with Elminster

The following is a parody on pre-existing humor and there is no guarantee you'll leave this place partially sane.


It?s a quarter past spotty blueberry noodle, and we join our news correspondent Larry Oxlungs in a one on one interview with the wandering wacky arch-mage Elminster.

~********~

Larry: Welcome to the program Elminster.

Elminster: Great to be here Brian.

Larry: Larry.

Elminster: But I did pay thy fine Brian.

Larry: ... right, err anyway ? you have been around a long time Elminster.

Elminster: Aye that I have Brian.

Larry: As one of the Forgotten Realm?s most renowned mages, what does it feel like, to be a master of the arcane?

Elminster: Oh now that is one long tale child Brian, some components of magic are beyond the words of the planes even. Thou would spend more years than I have been alive to know it all. Oh did I ever mention how it feels?

Larry: Technically that is what I?m asking.

Elminster: Oh don?t be in such a rush Brian some things must be taken slow, just ask Mystra.

Larry: But.. Mystra?s a goddess.

Elminster: Ye speak like you know in from personal experience Brian, well I tell you now Brian, no one does the?

Larry: Please Elminster there are minors listening!

Elminster: Well I beg ye pardon Brian but I?ve never eaten bananas.

Larry: I understand recently you had a touch of wild magic, what was that like.

Elminster: By Tymora?s grace Brian! There are minors watching!

Larry: It was just a question.

Elminster: I think you need to spend some time off that... what was it these kids are all flocking to these days?

Larry: YouTube?

Elminster: Poodles yes that it, no more poodles for you Brian.

Larry: But I own a poodle.

Elminster: That?s evil Brian, flares died in the 80s.

Larry: I think this interview has gotten out of control, thank you for your time Elminster.

Elminster: Great to be here Brian.

That?s all folks.

[Jarno Mikkola]

Didn't I tell you? And the seconds are gone, dance puppet, dance!

[Kellen]

Very nice, Solar. I especially liked-

Please, Kellen, there are minors listening.

Oh right. Erm, I liked it.

[Scipio]

Thanks, that's the most information I've ever had about Elminster. I have known nothing about him (seriously) except that he wears the biggest hat in the Realms. But we still don't know if he magically enchanted his prostate to work properly at his advanced age. Could your interviewer get back to him on that one, please? And maybe also ask if all of Elminster's vegetables have to be boiled into slop.

[Solar's Harper]

Tsk tsk Kellen Glad you liked it.

And that's a sound idea Jarno, yes dance ^^

Could your interviewer get back to him on that one, please? And maybe also ask if all of Elminster's vegetables have to be boiled into slop.

Oh I think we can drag Brian back into the studio for another chat with Mr E.

Larry: Larry! IT'S LARRY!

What'd you say Brian? The cat ate all the chips?

[DalreïDal]

*grins* mfp. hehe.