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Challenge #7: The bloody axe and a refreshment.


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#1 Jarno Mikkola

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Posted 12 November 2007 - 12:05 AM

This tale/monologue continues the same tale set loong before. ^_^ I decided to expand the challenge premises a little and the story just happened to pop out. There is a scene that contains Vial actions but not too bad, remember you have been warned. You can criticize the work how ever you like. Thanks.

***************
The bloody axe and a refreshment.



"It tried to eat my axe! I made a choice, that dragon would never again try anything like that, ever again. So I cave it to him! More than a few times to chew on. Unfortunately for me, the final hit went quite deep, so I had to use this other axe in the retrieval of the original. It's blood and guts were everywhere. But still, I will hold the opinion, that it was all it's own fault!
And once we had killed the shadow beggar, the area surrounding the valey was enlightened by the cursed light of the barn sun. Ah, there was a long walk was a head of us, and we were tired of all the fighting in the temple ruins, so we gave Markaan the lead. Markaan decided to take a look on his own, and let us take a breath. Soon after I heared a wolf howling. Tired, I moved closer with Keldorn. And I saw the monster, cutting the wolf with it's claws. Keldorn moved even closer to attack it, but I yelled. 'Don't attack, it's Markaan!' Keldorn stopped, wielding his sword, as if threating the beast, but then standing down as it shaped back into Markaan. Liking the blood from his hands, Markaan just stared them and continued for while until saying. 'It was a test'. With a crazed look in his eyes. This was almost too much for Keldorn, but I got him from storming against the mage, by redirecting his attention towards the already approaching new enemies. Trolls...

A tall, slender girl walked past us, wrinkling her nose in disgust but not sparing us a look, indeed the smell of troll blood was terrible. The city looked crowded and we were tired - the long march here had worn us out, even I, the hardiest among us had trouble standing straight. We looked like beaten adventurers and we were. Our tattered and bloody attire drew cautious glances from the town folks, especially mine- they steered clear of us as we walked down the alley, an effect I would decide to like.
We had business, shady, and indeed dangerous affairs, Markaan suggested that perhaps we should have gone to sleep, it was necessary for our survival. But even if we were in an advantageous state of exhaustion we had no cleric, so we wouldn't get a proper rest, so as we went to an inn, and I decided to stay in guard for the others, in the bar. I drank a good dwarven ale. My eyes began to see things in two's, and soon there were many more. They would try...
Fortunately for me, I had forgot to take my full plate mail off, and the robbers had goblin made weapons so they had no effect against the armor. I don't remember what happened, I must have fought for hours, as my head began to stand clear from the fogs of the dwarven ale while doing it. I hate when that happens! But I seemingly had no time to correct that fact as Markaan came down the stairs and we had to leave, fortunately at the time, I had already killed everyone in the bar, so there were no witnesses to our departure. In the end, I should have thanked the robbers of giving me a refreshment, a proper fight, but they were no one to say thanks to, so I just pissed on one of them.
By the way boy, the name is Korgan, Korgan Bloodaxe."

Edited by Jarno Mikkola, 12 November 2007 - 09:02 AM.

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#2 Solar's Harper

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Posted 12 November 2007 - 01:57 AM

Heh, good ole' Korgan acting slightly civil? That's something new. ^_^

Short and to the point, the title pretty much says it all as well. :)

And thanking the robbers by pissing on them? Sounds pretty Korgan to me. :D

Now, typos:

I had forget to take my full plate mail off


Should be: "forgot"

they had no effect againts the armor


Should be: "against"

dwarven ail while doing it.


If this actually in reference to the drink, should be: "ale"

===
That's about all I can see, looks good Jarno. :)

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#3 Jarno Mikkola

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Posted 12 November 2007 - 07:01 AM

Thanks for those, I rewrote the start, so now the story has a begining, or more like a middle too... ^_^

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#4 Solar's Harper

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Posted 12 November 2007 - 07:58 AM

So I see, and sadly typo gremlins followed. I'll have to ask Tempest for his flamethrower when he's done with it. :)

And as Choo Choo graciously pointed out, it can also be used as a club when out of ammo. :D

Anyway:

It tryed to eat my axe!


Should be: Tried

Unfortuantly for me


Should be: Unfortunately

other axe to re-empurse the original


I assume you are getting at the word for replacing the original, so it should be: Remburse
======
Die typo gremlins die!!!! :D
Quit interfering with the imp's story gremlins!

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#5 Jarno Mikkola

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Posted 12 November 2007 - 09:11 AM

so it should be: Remburse

That's reimburse

Die typo gremlins die!!!! :D

Jarno Mikkola

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#6 Celestine

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Posted 12 November 2007 - 09:05 PM

lol, good writing and I had fun reading it. =)

#7 Solar's Harper

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Posted 13 November 2007 - 02:29 AM

so it should be: Remburse

That's reimburse

Die typo gremlins die!!!! :D

Jarno Mikkola


Bleh, try to correct a typo only to make one myself... meh, I blame it on being tired. <_<

And since when did you stop being an imp Jarno? :)

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#8 Celestine

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Posted 13 November 2007 - 09:07 PM

so it should be: Remburse

That's reimburse

Die typo gremlins die!!!! :D

Jarno Mikkola


Bleh, try to correct a typo only to make one myself... meh, I blame it on being tired. <_<

And since when did you stop being an imp Jarno? :)


:ROFL: Cute, Solar. :)

Edited by Celestine, 13 November 2007 - 09:07 PM.


#9 Kellen

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Posted 20 November 2007 - 03:10 PM

Have to agree. Got a bit of a laugh out of the story, but then, that's what usually happens. Keep it up, Jarno.

Though I will note, it was a little staggering the transition from trolls to city.

Still, a good read.
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