5 replies to this topic

[KedorLao]

You are different. You need not this.

No.

Why grovel and beg when you could dominate.

Quiet.

Stoop no longer. Spit out the dirt in your mouth and assume your rightful pose.

Shut up.

The anger, it boils and seethes. Let it fill your muscles and sinews, strengthening every fibre of your body. It is a tool, a weapon, one which you should use.

I will not!

But you will. With every ragged breath I come. Your body trembles but it should not be in fear but anticipation. Your will wanes and with it your petulant resistance. Behold your glory.

Hear me.

Feel me.

Become me.

?NO!?

Shyrendrius paused before the glowing portal, the eldritch energies illuminating his pale delicate features with a mystic blue glow. His deep eyes, so calm and condemning turned ever so slowly back. He seemed momentarily of two minds. His hand still reaching for the power just inches beyond his grasp; the power he had long sought for more than fifty years.

But even more pressing was his desire to relish this victory that had been so hard pressed. And in that moment of hesitation, that terminal struggle was lost. His base desire had won.

He turned with a sneer still pulled against his lips.

?My dear Kieran, your bravery is admirable had it not been equally matched by your stupidity. You have lost. Your friends are dead or dying and you, yourself, are not long for this world. If the babbling priests are right then your soul shall spend a delightfully anguished eternity along Kelemvor's wall with the rest of the Faithless. Enjoy your final, short breathes and...?

His brow knitted in concern as his fallen opponent's body gave a sudden, violent spasm. A small spark of humanity flitted by the moon elf's crystal eyes. He had the power to save them all, indeed his magics were powerful enough that even the recently slain could be snagged from the Lord of Death's chilling clutches.

?Why. Why does the suffering of this mortal move me so??

It was barely a whisper, perhaps merely a thought, but it rang in Kieran's ears like thunder. Through the growing pain he flailed, searching for something, anything on which to anchor. He latched upon that utterance, holding it tightly like a survivor to flotsam.

The portal crackled, splitting Shyrendrius' attention briefly. His slippered foot slid towards it but his eyes remained bewildered by the violent death pangs of his enemy. He stood transfixed by the sight, both disturbing but mesmerizing.

Kieran let out a terrific howl.

It was then that Shyrendrius noticed, only too late, the dark chitinous substance that seemed to have burnt against the man's flesh. He jerked as an ominous spine ripped through his shirt, followed by a second and a third. His weapon clattered to the ground as the fingers convulsed. The skin cracked away as darkened spines broke from the joints and wicked talons ripped from the tips. Kieran had curled into a fetal position as his body was wracked by painful spasms. All the while Shyrendrius watched the transformation with distressed fascination.

Then, with lightning speed, Kieran was no longer on the ground. More accurately, what was once the tall half-elf was no longer on the ground. Instead, some monstrous blackened beast riddled with spines and protrusions, was bounding at an alarming speed towards the paralyzed elf.

His fingers worked miraculously of their own accord, as the beast was upon him before he could even let loose a yelp.

The chiselled claw ripped through the magical wards as if they were paper curtains. For the first time in his sheltered and privileged life, Shyrendrius felt the terrible burning sting of pain. He looked down in shock at the talons embedded in his soft stomach. His bejeweled magenta robes bled a sickening crimson stain.

The carefully wrought expression of disdain and arrogance renown by the elven race melted away. Gone was the practiced sneer and trained disgusted eyes. All that remained was the expression of a terrified child. He looked up into that monstrous face with lips quivering. He looked just like every other child: scared and lost.

Kieran grabbed with his other hand and ripped out his throat.

The portal, evidently realizing that no being was going to be perusing its services, abruptly closed.

The chamber fell into a discomforting silence punctuated only by the husky breathing of the dark monster. The smell of death filled the air and all time seemed to pause. An eternity passed within that darkness. Eventually, a light broke through that emptiness as it descended down those long, ruined stairs.

Keldorn and his men stepped into the chamber, not sure what to expect and finding something they weren't prepared for. He didn't need to order his men, they immediately went towards the fallen, inspecting wounds and tending to those they could still save.

Keldorn went from body to body, turning many over and holding their faces close to the torch light. With each person he inspected, he became more and more frantic, ignoring the strangled pleads of those wracked with eldritch fire and wounds from something else entirely.

He paused at the entrance to the inner sanctum.

?Sir!?

Keldorn turned as his captain hurried to him, careful to step over one of the corpses.

?There are many here that can still be saved. Their wounds are severe and they will need immediate medical treatment.?

?Do all that you can for them and tell the men to get ready for the journey back. We've found what we came here for.?

?Yes Sir. But... if I may inquire. What about those that have fallen? Should we not see to their burial??

?Not now. We have more pressing matters.?

Keldorn stopped as he crossed the threshold and reconsidered.

?Send one of our fastest to the closest village and find a priest. We'll leave Riandra and Crill here to prepare the bodies.?

?Yes Sir!?

Keldorn turned back to the inner chamber. His torch light fluttered against the great stone pillars and the raised dais at the far end. Keldorn took a few hesitant steps forward.

?Kieran??

The young man looked up. He sat silently upon the steps. His clothes were shredded beyond repair but he appeared unharmed amongst the carnage surrounding him. It was as if a tempest had raged within the confines of the tiny structure, and Kieran had just sat there and withstood it.

Keldorn looked around the rest of the chamber. His eyes fell upon the mangled remains of the moon elf. What was left was barely recognizable, being pounded mercilessly into a broken section of wall. His remains were covered in the sparkling dust of his shattered jewels.

Hesitantly, Keldorn approached Kieran. He picked upon the fallen sword, the katana's keen edge a familiar and frightening sight. He held it out to the unblinking man still watching him warily though he had not moved since Keldorn had called to him.

?It is done??

It was a rhetorical question. He could plainly see that it was finished. He was a little concerned that there wasn't enough left to take back as proof. He didn't expect an answer from Kieran. He just didn't know what else to say.

His wife would have laughed had she known her husband was left tongue tied by some mewling little half-elf who looked like he had just left his mother's skirts. Course, she wasn't in that room, surrounded by all those bodies. Nor did she know who or what Kieran was. Keldorn had encountered his kind before, and all of them left him a touch uneasy.

Kieran stared at the blade for a few minutes, as if not recognizing the weapon. Tentatively, he reached out and plucked it gently from Keldorn's fingers. He pushed himself to his feet, stumbling down the steps. Keldorn reflexively reached out to catch him, but something in the back of his mind held him back.

With laboured steps, Kieran walked out of the chamber.

Keldorn looked over at Shyrendrius' remains and grimaced. He eventually managed to find a finger with one of those ridiculously large purple rings still attached. He hoped it was magical, as it would give credence to being Shyrendrius' finger. He hastily slipped it back into the pouch then joined his men in the outer chamber.

The journey back was delightfully uneventful though arduous, considering the number of individuals that they brought with them for aid.

Kieran said not a single word.

A tall, slender girl walked past, wrinkling her nose in disgust but not sparing us a look. The city looked crowded and we were tired - the long march here had worn us out, even the hardiest among us had trouble standing straight. We looked like beaten adventurers and not Knights of the Radiant Heart, our tattered and bloody attire drew cautious glances from the town folks - they steered clear of us as we walked down the street. I ordered the other knights back to the temple then, with Shyrendrius' finger in hand, Kieran and I headed down the alley. We had business, shady, dangerous affairs, perhaps, it was necessary for our survival, even if we were in an advantageous state...

[Solar's Harper]

Wow, nice work there KedorLao.

That scene of the metamorphsis and the after scene was described perfectly in my opinion, really kept the thrill or horror of the scene in there, y'know?

And I can only venture a guess that Keldorn in the fic, is the same Keldorn from BG2, yes?

[KedorLao]

Wow, nice work there KedorLao.

That scene of the metamorphsis and the after scene was described perfectly in my opinion, really kept the thrill or horror of the scene in there, y'know?

And I can only venture a guess that Keldorn in the fic, is the same Keldorn from BG2, yes?

Indeed. I was worried that it wasn't fanfictional enough. Originally I had it as some unnamed soldier but a quick tweak slipped Keldorn right in there.

I'm glad that I was able to capture some of the horror that I'd imagined the change would bring. It's really an interesting story telling device, being able to draw out the wickedness of an individual in a very tangible and powerful method. Plus, it gave an opportunity for a person to fail against overwhelming pressure, despite the best of intentions.

[Celestine]

Nice work and the horror scene is described vividly. I think the addition of Keldorn in the story is a nice touch, sort of relate it to the BG storyline.

[Kellen]

I've going to add my "Very nice work" in, and up an apology for being so late to comment.

I have to add that I also thought the transformation(and fight) scene was very well described, and the whole story was in fact quite well done. Hit just the right spots.

Except for the name, which kept reminding me of my sister's NE Elven Fighter from IWD.

But anyways, well done. And I hope you'll be posting here many more times.

[KedorLao]

Haha, yeah I agree with you about the name. It was just something I had jotted down on the spot and when I was re-reading it, I wasn't a huge fan either.

Thanks for the compliments though. I'll see about doing something for the 8th challenge.

I've going to add my "Very nice work" in, and up an apology for being so late to comment.

I have to add that I also thought the transformation(and fight) scene was very well described, and the whole story was in fact quite well done. Hit just the right spots.

Except for the name, which kept reminding me of my sister's NE Elven Fighter from IWD.

But anyways, well done. And I hope you'll be posting here many more times.